Grandfather my dad has history of fondling women, live close by, and I have DD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are the most hysterical bunch of koolaid drinkers I've ever seen.

Cut him off? Call the police??? For a pat on the ass? You should be ashamed of yourselves. No pat on the ass ever killed anyone, but sending an elderly loving grandfather through legal hell and possibly to prison probably would.

This is OP's FATHER we're talking about. Not some fellow customer at the coffee shop. She can love the sinner and hate the sin. She can make sure her kids aren't alone with him for any length of time. She can give him the stinkeye or tell him off ("Dad, cut it out, that's inappropriate") if she observes anything untoward. She can teach her kids to speak up loudly if they're ever uncomfortable. But to call the police with accusations of rape (where did that even come from??) is straight up cruel. It's like you people have no notion of nuance. That generation and their flexible boundaries will be gone soon, taking with them the good and the bad. We need to enjoy the good while they're still with us.

Now if OP comes back and says that by "fondled" she really meant "penetrated", then we're in a different ballpark. But I have a hard time believing that idle bitching on the part of women at work is anything but annoying dirty old man behavior. Certainly not worth destroying what's left of a father's life.

You are a sick, SICK person. You really need to seek help, and if you have kids, God help them because you sure won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you relate the not being alone with your daughter to his actions? Have you had a conversation about the fact there are numerous reports he has fondled women? I am not sure that translates to him being a pedophile but you need to do what makes you comfortable. And he obviously has poor boundaries. I would make sure however you make the connection that the not being alone is because of how he has acted inappropriately and you can't risk that.

Yes, after every sentence I said he changed the subject like we were talking about the weather. He knows but never processes it. His wife did talk with me saying that he is just overly friendly and people take him the wrong way. He didn't offer even a lame excuse.

Your bottom line was the right one but you probably could've handled it better. But that is water under the bridge now... now you just need to make 100% sure your father is NEVER alone with your DD. And that means she's not alone with him without you or your husband. Don't trust his wife, she sounds like she's in denial as well and she won't protect your DD.

I haven't read all the other pages of responses, but in case anyone is trying to make you feel bad, ignore it. Your father has left a trail of people bothered by his actions, and honestly, for that many people to actually complain, it's got to be egregious behavior. Most people just try to get away and don't bring it up. If source after source reports complaints, your dad has a problem and he's not doing anything to address it. You are VERY LUCKY that he never mistreated you, and that is a strength of his that is not to be taken for granted. But he apparently does not hold back with others, and just generally his denial is a characteristic I wouldn't want my kid around if I were in your shoes, even if he never showed a sign of wanting to do anything inappropriate with my kid.