Views/Differences on Education for Children is Causing Rift in Marriage - Advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Plus why is it ironic that when you say elitist and racist things, people call you an elitist and a racist?

Please let me clarify. The irony is that people say they want diversity. But they also want the best schools, which are generally not very diverse. The best schools have lots of whites and Asians. Rich people also talk about helping low income people, yet this thread shows that they are opposed to letting them cheat to be in the best schools.

While I don't like residency cheating, the idea of this motivated doctor friend in my class would be a good thing since it would improve the classroom environment.

Why do you assume that everybody posting here is rich? And why do you say that everybody wants the "best" (meaning richest) schools? Lots of the PPs here have been specifically advising the OP that it is not necessary to go to the "best" schools.

[Anonymous]

While I don't like residency cheating, the idea of this motivated doctor friend in my class would be a good thing since it would improve the classroom environment.

How bout improving the classroom environment in the school she left?

[Anonymous]

I confess that I know someone that borrowed an address to attend a good high school. It was an Asian person with a Type A personality. All school, all the time. Now she is a multimillionaire doctor. She doesn't regret it for one minute. She was poor and did everything she could to succeed. While it may be dishonest, it is also impressive for a family to want to succeed so badly that they would cheat and lie and spend extra time commuting. So I think I respect their ambition more than I look down upon the cheating.

In some ways, you can compare this to cheating on an exam or an assignment. You are doing something dishonest to get ahead in life. And we all know how rampant cheating in school is. The type of cheating can vary. Maybe the student is getting help from mom. Maybe the student is using Cliffnotes or using google when you are not allowed to.




I guess it depends on what you value as "success". I was brought up that your word and integrity were more important than money.


The millionaire doctor has lots of integrity. She is a DOCTOR! Working hard to save lives every day and paying six figures in taxes. Her children are WONDERFUL. Since she is rich, her kids never have to cheat like she did. Would you rather have that spot at school go to a spoiled, rich WASP? The person who will marry well and be a SAHM? (I don't mean to offend SAHMs, perhaps you can replace this example with another one)

I hope you are a high school student because I have a hard time believing any intelligent or responsible adult would have the simplistic and selfish opinions you shared here....and then go on to defend them.

She's RICH! She's a DOCTOR! Therefore she must have integrity! It's ok that she lied, cheated, and stole an education because she was poor! In fact, what she did wasn't so bad, it's kind of like using Google for an assignment when you know you aren't supposed to!

Good grief.

[Anonymous]

I hope you are a high school student because I have a hard time believing any intelligent or responsible adult would have the simplistic and selfish opinions you shared here....and then go on to defend them.

She's RICH! She's a DOCTOR! Therefore she must have integrity! It's ok that she lied, cheated, and stole an education because she was poor! In fact, what she did wasn't so bad, it's kind of like using Google for an assignment when you know you aren't supposed to!

Good grief.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Re: residency cheating. Is it cheating if you own property and pay taxes in one district but also live in another. But you choose to send your kids to the district where you don't live full time in. We know families who live in DC but own a rental property in McLean. They use the McLean address and kids attend McLean schools. They justify it that they own the property and pay taxes for that school just like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re: residency cheating. Is it cheating if you own property and pay taxes in one district but also live in another. But you choose to send your kids to the district where you don't live full time in. We know families who live in DC but own a rental property in McLean. They use the McLean address and kids attend McLean schools. They justify it that they own the property and pay taxes for that school just like everyone else.

Residency means you live there. Owning property is not relevant. Renters can be residents. Homeless people can be residents. People who live somewhere else cannot be residents. Yes, it's cheating.

[Anonymous]

Residency means you live there. Owning property is not relevant. Renters can be residents. Homeless people can be residents. People who live somewhere else cannot be residents. Yes, it's cheating.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Wow this thread went wayyyy off the rails

[Anonymous]

OP, if you don't have the money for private, don't do it. Also, theer is not a whole lot of evidence that there would be an outcome difference.
Moving is your next best option. Many people make great sacrifice for a better school district.
If you don't move, sounds like you will need to after school your kids and stick with like minded parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, (1) it is totally possible for a family to value academics highly and send their children to a mediocre public school. Lots of smart kids have no other options besides their local public. You can supplement, do interesting lessons/camps, read constantly at home, etc. .

(2) Taking out loans for private school (as you mention your family did) seems like a terrible idea. Maybe you meant college?

(3) With motivated, involved parents, your kids are probably going to be fine wherever they go.

[Anonymous]

OP, a couple of thoughts.

First of all, Catholic schools typically have a tiered fee structure. The cheapest tuitions are for Catholics who are members of a particular diocese. The next cheapest are typically for Catholics who practice in another diocese. Non-catholics who are non-members are typically paying full-freight. Which is probably still cheaper than non-parochial private schools, but it's going to be more than $7K a year.

Second, if Alexandria is a good commute for you, consider moving to the Fairfax county parts of Alexandria. You'd get Fairfax county schools (though yes, some of them are still lower-ranking for the area, but higher than Alexandria City's), at probably similar housing prices and the amenities of living in a big county. (i.e. great rec centers, etc.)