Am I the only parent with a high IQ child who does not care to scramble for the best schools?

[Anonymous]

Die, thread, die.

[Anonymous]

Why don't we start playing "my HG kid is smarter than your HG kid" instead? That would be tons of fun, and totally befitting the tenor of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't we start playing "my HG kid is smarter than your HG kid" instead? That would be tons of fun, and totally befitting the tenor of this thread.

No, actually, it wouldn't. No one is saying anything remotely like that.

[Anonymous]

Wow, there seem to be a lot of people on this thread who think:

(a) if there is a limited pie of money for special programs, lots of it should go to their kids instead of to special needs kids, and
(b) nobody could possibly understand the problems faced by the parents of HG kids, because (corollary) nobody else besides them has ever had HG kids.

Yes, die, thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't we start playing "my HG kid is smarter than your HG kid" instead? That would be tons of fun, and totally befitting the tenor of this thread.

No, actually, it wouldn't. No one is saying anything remotely like that.

I was just suggesting it for the first time. Because it seems to fit the character of some of the posters here (maybe not you).

Wow, I just turned into a troll. But this thread deserves it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, there seem to be a lot of people on this thread who think:

(a) if there is a limited pie of money for special programs, lots of it should go to their kids instead of to special needs kids, and
(b) nobody could possibly understand the problems faced by the parents of HG kids, because (corollary) nobody else besides them has ever had HG kids.

Yes, die, thread!

No, actually that is not what people here are saying.

Look -- even the posted who said essentially "gifted kids won't die if you don't do anything special for them, they can learn to entertain and educate themselves" turns out to have a highly gifted child who has been pulled out of school to go to private school. So I'll go out on a limb and say it sounds like even that parent turned out to have desired something different from "regular" school for his or her highly gifted child child.

I think people are saying that just because a kid with special needs in the gifted area will somehow manage to survive without special classes or programs or adaptations, doesn't mean that it is therefor a good thing for this to have to happen.

How to allocate funds in a public school district for various programs is a separate question from whether the children have a right to an appropriate education in the fiirst place.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for trying to mediate. Agree, goals and reality are often very different. And I absolutely agree with you that way more money should be provided for education in general, and also for groups like HG kids. Absolutely no disagreement there.

We still need to deal with reality (unfortunately). Maybe it would be more productive to start talking about how families without HG programs can deal with reality. In a non-confrontational way. There still seems to be some sort of gap between "if you don't have HG programs your kid will somehow survive" and the response that "that sort of attitude is sneering/dismissive of my HG kid". Can we go forward with the common base of understanding suggested by PP?

[Anonymous]

Or we could all figure out how to lobby, in a highly collaborative fashion, for more money for the public schools. And forget about trying to find common ground re reality.

[Anonymous]

I had an IQ of 165 and went to a DC public elementary school and was happy. I remember how much I loved to read to for pleasure, and how I spent my time making up stories and I'm sorry my kids have so much homework they can't spend the same amount of time doing whatever they want. Maybe I could have been challenged more in school but so what? I learned, was happy, did fine. It isn't a race.

As the mother of a child with special needs I have to say it makes me angry to hear people equate the two. Many of us have kids who could not function in a classroom, could not get any kind of education, without supports. This just isn't the same as being bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an IQ of 165 and went to a DC public elementary school and was happy. I remember how much I loved to read to for pleasure, and how I spent my time making up stories and I'm sorry my kids have so much homework they can't spend the same amount of time doing whatever they want. Maybe I could have been challenged more in school but so what? I learned, was happy, did fine. It isn't a race.

As the mother of a child with special needs I have to say it makes me angry to hear people equate the two. Many of us have kids who could not function in a classroom, could not get any kind of education, without supports. This just isn't the same as being bored.

OP here. That was well put. Thanks, and best of luck with your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an IQ of 165 and went to a DC public elementary school and was happy. I remember how much I loved to read to for pleasure, and how I spent my time making up stories and I'm sorry my kids have so much homework they can't spend the same amount of time doing whatever they want. Maybe I could have been challenged more in school but so what? I learned, was happy, did fine. It isn't a race.

As the mother of a child with special needs I have to say it makes me angry to hear people equate the two. Many of us have kids who could not function in a classroom, could not get any kind of education, without supports. This just isn't the same as being bored.

PP, thanks for your thoughts. Not in any way to minimize your experience, but as the mother of both a special needs child and a child with an IQ off the charts, I have to respectfully disagree with you. I absolutely think it is reasonable to equate the two. In fact, I have found it far more difficult to get an appropriate education for our HG child than for our special needs child. And our HG child will be just as harmed, in other ways perhaps but no less serious, if an appropriate education is not to be had.

Again, no disrespect intended, but I also find it harmful and damaging to suggest that parents of HG children who want a reasonably challenging education for their kids desire that because they feel that life is "a race." That is just plain wrong, and indeed insulting (I know you didn't intend it that way). I venture to say that parents want an appropriate education for their HG children for all the same reasons that any parent would want a good education for their children, and it has nothing to do with competitiveness at all.

And as for your question "so what" to the issue of not being challenged in school all I can say to that is that many people do not share your attitude, and to say "so what" to people's legitimate concerns not only is thoughtless, but it also makes your other comments much less convincing.

[Anonymous]

19:30, thanks for your comments. I too am HG, and I too found ways to challenge myself within a public school that offered "honors" classes but not much else. In my view, curiosity and inventiveness come with being smart. And I now have a research job that challenges me, a happy family -- really what more could I want. Often these things can work out well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an IQ of 165 and went to a DC public elementary school and was happy. I remember how much I loved to read to for pleasure, and how I spent my time making up stories and I'm sorry my kids have so much homework they can't spend the same amount of time doing whatever they want. Maybe I could have been challenged more in school but so what? I learned, was happy, did fine. It isn't a race.

As the mother of a child with special needs I have to say it makes me angry to hear people equate the two. Many of us have kids who could not function in a classroom, could not get any kind of education, without supports. This just isn't the same as being bored.

PP, thanks for your thoughts. Not in any way to minimize your experience, but as the mother of both a special needs child and a child with an IQ off the charts, I have to respectfully disagree with you. I absolutely think it is reasonable to equate the two. In fact, I have found it far more difficult to get an appropriate education for our HG child than for our special needs child. And our HG child will be just as harmed, in other ways perhaps but no less serious, if an appropriate education is not to be had.

Again, no disrespect intended, but I also find it harmful and damaging to suggest that parents of HG children who want a reasonably challenging education for their kids desire that because they feel that life is "a race." That is just plain wrong, and indeed insulting (I know you didn't intend it that way). I venture to say that parents want an appropriate education for their HG children for all the same reasons that any parent would want a good education for their children, and it has nothing to do with competitiveness at all.

And as for your question "so what" to the issue of not being challenged in school all I can say to that is that many people do not share your attitude, and to say "so what" to people's legitimate concerns not only is thoughtless, but it also makes your other comments much less convincing.

PP, do you realize how you come off? Can't you disagree, without calling other posters "thoughtless" and worse? Somehow we need to move this discussion to a thoughtful debate, with an exchange of points of view, logic and reason, and leave the name-calling behind.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I thought I had stressed that I was not intending any disrespect. By "thoughtless," I meant that literally--i.e., in the sense of being unthinking--and I do think that the PP was unthinking with some of her comments, as we all can be at times when writing posts; I certainly wasn't insulting her.

Again, no disrespect intended, but I do stand by what I said. Having re-read my post, I do not think I was name-calling at all, and I was engaging in honest, respectful, thoughtful debate, with an exchange of viewpoints as you state. (With the possible exception of the two meanings of "thoughtless," which I hope I have now clarified.) I truly so not see where, if you had read my post, you would think that I was calling names and not doing what you claim to want. Truly bewildered here. (Then again, this post for some reason seems to have inflamed people for all sorts of reasons and in all sorts of ways...)

[Anonymous]

PP-- meant this "thread" has inflamed people, not this "post."