Am I the only parent with a high IQ child who does not care to scramble for the best schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know what the research shows, but I think that an important consideration is about quality of life for the child. And I am talking primarily about children who score in the "highly gifted" range, not just the bright or "gifted" child who can often do well in any number of settings. As a child who tested as HG at the age of 12 and was finally appropriately placed, I can say that my experience in a number of different settings was very telling. One of the biggest factors in my quality of life as an elementary school aged child was teacher attitude - and the reality is that many teachers in non-differentiated settings do not have the time/patience or interest/attitude necessary to make the educational life of an HG child nurturing and supportive. I actually experienced scapegoating at a number of different schools in non-differentiated settings, not from other children with whom I did fine at that age but rather from the teachers.

Just a thought I wanted to pass along.

If the HG kids are not pushed to read early, and taken to extra enrichment classes, they seem to fit in better with their peers, and I am not sure that theer is any evidence that this is harmful in the long run. They will excel when they are placed in appropruate classes by age 12. I don't think that it has to be earlier than that.

As the OP of the post to which you responded, you missed my point entirely. The issue that I personally faced was with the attitude of the teachers. This was in a number of different schools and with a number of different teachers. Some teachers are better suited and/or have the support and resources they need to educate HG children. Others can be openly hostile.

And, fwiw, I agree with the other posters who said that "children like this" (me as a child) do not have to be pushed. I was never "taught" to read - I learned to sight read before the age of 4 and went on from there. I was doing long-division at the age of 5 (in a Montessori Kindergarten, where, thankfully, I had no idea that this was freakish and was supported to learn at my own pace and take my learning as far as I was interested in doing). For me, I vividly remember that learning long-division and learning to sew buttons (another Montessori thing) were equally as challenging to me at that age. I was internally driven in my pursuit of knowledge. My parents and teachers (the good ones) just tried to keep up).

So imagine a child like that going into first grade and finding a teacher who was charged with addressing the needs of children learning at a completely different level and pace AND me at the same time. At best, they were nice and I was bored. At worst, I was actively scapegoated and humiliated in front of my class on an ongoing basis for being a "know it all" or a "show off". (The reality is that I had no idea that others did not know and could not at that point understand what seemed so self-evident to me. And I didn't know to hide it - something NO child should ever have to learn, imho.)

And, again, I want to stress that I am talking here about the potential experience of a highly gifted child - who would be perhaps 1 child out of anywhere from 1000 children (as is the case with the child scoring 145 IQ on the SB) to 1 child out of 100,000 children (165 IQ on the SB) - and not necessarily the gifted child (someone who scores from around 135 on the SB who will be 1 in 70 children to one who scores up to 145 on the SB and will be 1 in every 500 or less children).

If you just take a moment to imagine what it's like to be the only child out of every 100,000 children in terms of how you conceptualize things and what you can learn (and WANT to learn) when - and then imagine what it's like to be a teacher faced with teaching a child like that or just creating a nurturing environment for him or her in the midst of the rest of your duties, you will get an idea.

[Anonymous]

When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

Just wondering how you know they are HG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

Also -- what is it you think keeps kids interested at school, if it isn't academic challenge, i.e learning something new?

In other words, if a child enters second grade already having completely mastered the academic curriculum which is to be presented to her class, what is it you think will keep her interested in going to school each day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

sorry, but what successful adult even talks about school and whether they liked it or not..... most adults are so over that era of their life. It's certainly not something I would discuss except with someone I was very close to and only when the issue was on point to something going on in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

You're determined to see it the way you wish to see it. Or you are trolling. Either way, I am done with you.

I hope that my earlier comments are helpful to any parents in the future who do searches on this topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

I agree with this. I was one of them. HG kids will find ways to keep themselves amused, from teaching themselves braille during 6th grade Social Studies (me), studying foreign language grammar on the side (me), to teaching everybody else origami (a kid in DD's class). Also it's possible to go deeper into classes, even on your own without the teacher helping you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is "gifted" yes, but what is so wrong with not talking about it all the time, and just sending his little gifted tail to MCPS, and waiting to hear what the teachers want me to do with (to) him.
I want him to just have fun as a child, learn the basics and not get on anyone's nerves. When he is 11, we can talk about life, grades, birds, bees, SATs, Colleges and all that.

OP, I'm afraid you're missing the whole point of private schools. It has nothing, or at least very little to do with, being "gifted." In the Washington, D.C. area, your average wee-one is statistically smarter than your average kid, in say Dubuque. There are probably more "gifted" kids in the region than anywhere, save perhaps Silicon Valley or Los Alamos. No, the fact of the matter is that the private school obsession has to do with power and prestige (or the perceptions thereof) than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

I agree with this. I was one of them. HG kids will find ways to keep themselves amused, from teaching themselves braille during 6th grade Social Studies (me), studying foreign language grammar on the side (me), to teaching everybody else origami (a kid in DD's class). Also it's possible to go deeper into classes, even on your own without the teacher helping you.

Of course, but that is not the point. Why should a highly gifted child be expected to fend for him/herself in doing all these things, rather than being appropriately taught and challenged in school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

Just wondering how you know they are HG.

Biography.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

I agree with this. I was one of them. HG kids will find ways to keep themselves amused, from teaching themselves braille during 6th grade Social Studies (me), studying foreign language grammar on the side (me), to teaching everybody else origami (a kid in DD's class). Also it's possible to go deeper into classes, even on your own without the teacher helping you.

Oh, I also had all kinds of creative ways of keeping myself occupied during elementary school. In my case, it was possible because I had a lot of independent study times and could develop complex and creative games on my own or with one or two other kids in a similar position. But it worked best when the teachers weren't expecting me to sit in class and review things I already knew--instead, they were accommodating me, giving the chance to learn more advanced material than what the rest of the class was doing. The regular class times when I had to pay attention and follow along with the rest of the class could be very, very boring, while my independent study times were fun, and my gifted pull-out was delightful and challenging.

Yes, bright kids find ways to keep amused. Best of all is when they don't have to sneak around to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

I agree with this. I was one of them. HG kids will find ways to keep themselves amused, from teaching themselves braille during 6th grade Social Studies (me), studying foreign language grammar on the side (me), to teaching everybody else origami (a kid in DD's class). Also it's possible to go deeper into classes, even on your own without the teacher helping you.

Of course, but that is not the point. Why should a highly gifted child be expected to fend for him/herself in doing all these things, rather than being appropriately taught and challenged in school?

Actually, it is the point that PP was making, and that I was trying to underscore. Not being challenged is not the end of the world, unless you make it so yourself. You seem a bit defensive, that we're implying that you weren't up to creating your own challenges, but believe me that wasn't my (and other PP's?) intention. Perhaps it depends on the kid, as one example maybe it has more to do with risk-taking or something else that is totally unrelated to giftedness. But lots of HG kids survive middle-of-the-road education.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately what ends up happening in a lot of classes is that children who are making up their own activities (i.e. teachng other kids in the class origami) get in trouble for distracting the other children and for not doing what they are supposed to be doing (adding and subtracting double digits with regroupinbg -- please show all work.)

Doing origami and teaching yourself to read braille aren't activities that are part of the grade level math curriculum, and if kids aren't doing what is on the curriculum, they are up a creek, unless they have a very understanding teacher.

Back when I went to elementary school (years ago!) my school wasn't as test and curriculum-focused as schools are nowadays. So I was allowed to do pretty much what I wanted. Schools aren't like that mostly. anymore.

I'd like to hear from parents of kids identified as Highly Gofted (IQ of 140 and above, I think) whose kids are in regular elementary classes and are doing just fine, there, making up their own activities. I'm curious how that is going. I'll start a new thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I look at HG adults who have been successful, many of them were in regular classes for much of their schooling. They rarely complain thta schoolwas a bore. there does not always have to be an academic challenge to keep jids interested. I am not challenged much in my job, but it is always interesting. I am also around TONS of people who are clueless, but I can still speak to them.

I agree with this. I was one of them. HG kids will find ways to keep themselves amused, from teaching themselves braille during 6th grade Social Studies (me), studying foreign language grammar on the side (me), to teaching everybody else origami (a kid in DD's class). Also it's possible to go deeper into classes, even on your own without the teacher helping you.

Of course, but that is not the point. Why should a highly gifted child be expected to fend for him/herself in doing all these things, rather than being appropriately taught and challenged in school?

Actually, it is the point that PP was making, and that I was trying to underscore. Not being challenged is not the end of the world, unless you make it so yourself. You seem a bit defensive, that we're implying that you weren't up to creating your own challenges, but believe me that wasn't my (and other PP's?) intention. Perhaps it depends on the kid, as one example maybe it has more to do with risk-taking or something else that is totally unrelated to giftedness. But lots of HG kids survive middle-of-the-road education.

Of course it isn't "the end of the world" and these kids will "survive." You are missing the point. Why is "not being the end of the world" and "surviving" the standard??? The point is that every child should have access to an appropriate education. Would you say that children who learn at a slower pace shouldn't be accommodated? Children who learn faster also should be taught appropriately and accommodated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

(snip)

Why is "not being the end of the world" and "surviving" the standard??? The point is that every child should have access to an appropriate education. Would you say that children who learn at a slower pace shouldn't be accommodated? Children who learn faster also should be taught appropriately and accommodated.

THANK YOU!