Am I awful for wanting some family time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am the outlier, but why would people who live 1 hour away have to come and spend the entire weekend on a regular basis?
You could drive an hour and spend the day and then drive an hour back home?
Are they elderly and frail...driving too much for them?
My folks live 3 hours away and sometimes we meet for dinner (we each drive 1 1/2) in the middle then we go back home.

I was wondering that, too. If the drive is taking so much out of them that they have to rest for 2 or 3 days before they can make a return trip back home, then I'd be worried about them making the trip at all. You might want to put a stop to that before a tragedy happens. Maybe visit them more frequently?

[Anonymous]

What an awful person you are. They are coming once a month and you want family time? What da heck do you do the other 3 weekends? There's your family time. You think your parents did not want family time and weekends off when they were raising you? SMH, Just can't stand ungrateful children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents live 6 hours away and I have a strict "3 night or get a hotel" policy. Also, we only have 1 bathroom so no guests are allowed on Monday mornings.

If my parents were 1 hour away and could still safely drive in the dark, at night I would have an overnight guests on exception only policy - like after fireworks or other late event and then it would be 1 night only.

When I was single, I travelled M-F, M-Th, or Su-Th every week for 9 years. My parents had a hard time understanding that I literally only had 6-8 days a month to spend with my friends, boyfriend, going to the Dr., running errands, etc.

If they really need long visits, I would ask them to come Thursday and relieve the nanny / do daycare pickup and chill with kids until dinner. On Friday while I was at work I would have the kids in the normal daycare routine and have my parents do some laundry, get groceries, or do some basic food prep for the next 3-4 days.

These are not friends who visit once a year, they are monthly visitors who are coming presumably to help with the kids. Maybe if they came on Thursday, you and DH could even get a once a month date night on Fridays out of it.

you are nuts and awful human being you should be glad that your parents want to visit you

[Anonymous]

Time to get real. If you can't tell your own parents what you want, who can you tell???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time to get real. If you can't tell your own parents what you want, who can you tell???

No, no...I think the parents must have been cold and emotionally distant when raising the OP. And so OP is behaving like they did and is cold and emotionally distant with them. She cannot have a conversation with her parents either.

Wait ... is this a "white people" problem too?

[Anonymous]

There are some real live wires on this thread!

I adore my mom, and I would love her to be able to visit every 3 or 4 weeks, BUT I do need a little downtime between workweeks. I'd struggle with this one a little bit too. I think people are being way too harsh. though.

I agree with PPs who advised having them come Fri pm but leaving Sun noontime or afternoon. That way you can get things together before your workweek--laundry, lunch packing, all that last minute stuff. Just let them know that you love the visits, but that you need just a bit to clear your head before the week starts. I can't imagine they'll argue with it.

And for the rest of you, shame on you! There's nothing wrong with wanting to balance your personal and extended family obligations. No need for a huge guilt trip for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once a month? I'd love my parents/in laws to come once a month! Use them as free babysitting while they're here and go out on monthly free date nights with your DH. Let them take the kids to do stuff while you relax. I'm actually really jealous.

+1
Once a month is perfect!

[Anonymous]

It would be too much for me as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be too much for me as well.

Love our parents, but...yes, too much for me, too.