Rich husband or successful career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husbands can leave and take their money with them.

Actually they can't. Rich husbands cannot leave their SAH wives penniless. I might not get to keep the house in the Hamptons, but I'd never have to work again unless I chose to. Besides, I have a pre-SAH 401k and brokerage account in my name only and I could live well on that alone.

[Anonymous]

Rich husband.

I love working don't get me wrong but it would be nice to do it for the sake of fulfillment and not needing the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich husband. I hate working.

People don't see being married to a rich husband as work? What if you don't particularly like him? Wouldn't it be work then? I guess we're assuming that we are marrying a rich guy for love then? My sister did that but then it turned out to be hard work after all (living with a spoiled rotten drunk isn't easy) and she finally gave up after 18 years. But I'm sure that's not the case for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I have two friends who gave up professional well-paying careers to do the rich wife/SAHM thing. Both husbands spend most of the week in the city and leaves wives at home to essentially be single moms. Neither husband has a lot of respect for their wife's HH contributions in terms of household management, and this has now carried over into the way that one friends's teenage sons act toward her.
(And to be honest, I can see a little why---now that they are more independent, their mom now does nothing but tennis and yoga, while dad works 10 hour days). Neither friend really likes her husband very much.

If either was being truthful, I think they would now say that the cost of those Laboutins was just a little too high.


My happiest married friends are in marriages where both spouses have a career with similar economic benefits, but one career is more flexible in terms of work day (either entrepreneur, or professor).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husbands can leave and take their money with them.

Actually they can't. Rich husbands cannot leave their SAH wives penniless. I might not get to keep the house in the Hamptons, but I'd never have to work again unless I chose to. Besides, I have a pre-SAH 401k and brokerage account in my name only and I could live well on that alone.

LOL. Good luck with that. Newsflash: there are plenty of very wealthy men who have -- through brilliant lawyering -- left their formerly wealthy wives in the poorhouse.

[Anonymous]

You all assume that if the husband is rich he's an asshole. So between an asshole and a career I choose the career for sure.

Let's just assume that's it's the same great, loving, caring and respectful guy whom you're married now. But rich...

[Anonymous]

I'll take the rich husband. And, thanks to the Supreme Court, it is now a possibility!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It makes for a better marriage to have a high earner and the other parent do most everything else. Most of the women that complain on this forum are resentful because things they work+do everything.

Best for who exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all assume that if the husband is rich he's an asshole. So between an asshole and a career I choose the career for sure.

Let's just assume that's it's the same great, loving, caring and respectful guy whom you're married now. But rich...

I don't know that anyone assumes every wealthy man is a jerk; I think there's simply a realistic concern for the possibility of the breakdown of a marriage (even if "we don't *believe* in divorce"). These things are borne out by the "relationship" forum of this very website on an almost daily basis -- SAHMs whining about how they are SOL b/c they want a divorce but don't have the finances to afford to live on their own. There's also a bit of pie-in-the-sky wishful thinking about what a wealthy husband "owes" his SAHM when he divorces her. Can he leave her penniless? Sure can. The richer he is, the more likely he has the means to screw you out of what you might think is rightfully yours. Would he? Maybe not. But I wouldn't want to take that chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll take the rich husband. And, thanks to the Supreme Court, it is now a possibility!

Yahoo!

[Anonymous]

Im going to keep it real. Im a working mom and this working shit sucks. Id rather be at home with my son and our soon to be new addition. We cant afford it though because I dont have a rich DH. Argh!

[Anonymous]

Don't know about the rich husband but my rich generous bf bored me to death.Even all the spending got boring.I felt like hanging myself.

[Anonymous]

How about option three: win the lottery and work for the government PT in a kick back job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about option three: win the lottery and work for the government PT in a kick back job?

Who the heck wants to work for the government if you don't need the benefits??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how all the working moms profess a great love of their jobs (hear them roar!). Yet in real life every working mom I know is a haggard mess, waking up early, commuting and spending all day dealing with office BS instead of remaining connected with family/kids. These are the same women who are medicating (pills, alcohol, etc.) and who rarely see their husband and kids. In the real world, often these are the folks who wind up divorced. And, divorce for a working woman ain't a cake-walk. Let's at least be real here ladies. Don't worry, the PC police aren't watching.

You misunderstand. Working moms profess a great love of EARNING an income and being able to, if necessary, be financially independent. That isn't the same as loving their jobs.

I'm sure not all of the men who support their SAH wives love their jobs, and a good many of them are overworked and, as you say, "haggard." But they take pride in what they do.

Do you have statistics to back up your claim that working moms are more likely to end up divorced? And if that is the case, perhaps it's because a woman who has a career is more inclined to leave a bad marriage, whereas a woman who is financially dependent on her husband is less inclined.