Problems with MIL straining my marriage

[Anonymous]

This whole thread reads like a bad novel waiting to be made into a Lifetime movie of the week. I find it all so hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Show him this thread and ask for his honest, calm opinion on your thoughts (and our responses). Gauge his reaction. I would probably be headed for divorce if I was in your situation, FWIW. This is no way to live.

+1. And I would tell my DH I was considering divorce. I would also tell my MIL I was considering divorce and that she needed to start respecting boundaries because if you get divorced, your MIL is going to have a lot less access to your kid. Look, I think a lot of MIL's have a little trouble with boundaries. As I look at my 5 year old boy, I imagine it will be really hard for me when he is married with kids of his own--if that happens some day--but I will do everything I can to control myself because I know that is necessary for my son to have an independent grown up life and a happy marriage and family of his own. I know sometimes my MIL struggles a bit but she always checks herself and DH and I are always a united front. Make your husband understand the gravity of this situation and make him know his marriage is on the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Show him this thread and ask for his honest, calm opinion on your thoughts (and our responses). Gauge his reaction. I would probably be headed for divorce if I was in your situation, FWIW. This is no way to live.

+1. And I would tell my DH I was considering divorce. I would also tell my MIL I was considering divorce and that she needed to start respecting boundaries because if you get divorced, your MIL is going to have a lot less access to your kid. Look, I think a lot of MIL's have a little trouble with boundaries. As I look at my 5 year old boy, I imagine it will be really hard for me when he is married with kids of his own--if that happens some day--but I will do everything I can to control myself because I know that is necessary for my son to have an independent grown up life and a happy marriage and family of his own. I know sometimes my MIL struggles a bit but she always checks herself and DH and I are always a united front. Make your husband understand the gravity of this situation and make him know his marriage is on the line.

The problem isn't mil. The problem is a Dh who has no balls and a dw who is too immature to set healthy boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread reads like a bad novel waiting to be made into a Lifetime movie of the week. I find it all so hard to believe.

What is your problem? No difficult inlaws? Ungrateful about it? Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From someone who has btdt, the issue here is not the mil. The issue is op and her husband. OP, because she needs to set healthy boundaries--and that includes realizing that not everything needs to be a battle. Her DH, because he does not have his priorities straight in placing his DW first in his life. The sooner those two issues are resolved, the sooner the issues with mil go away, or are at least severely mitigated.

agree with this. the tough part is that many husbands do not realize that a healthy boundary = placing dw first in his life

I am struggling with this in my marriage.

[Anonymous]

BUMP - can you recommend your marriage counselor?