How to deal with braggy/materialistic moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I don't. Maybe there are--maybe you know such people well enough to judge their character, but I don't.

Look, I don't know that we fundamentally disagree that much. I'm sure that there are shockingly shallow rich people just as there are shockingly shallow poor people. What bothers me is seeing so many people jump automatically from "rich" to "shallow." We don't, after all, jump automatically from "poor" to "lazy." (Or at least we shouldn't.)

I don't see that at all in this thread. No one is criticizing money, just the use of it.

Who are we to criticize what rich people do with their money? I'm glad they spend their money, it helps keep the economy afloat. 11:18 admittedly spends her money on things that most of us can only dream of having. I don't have a problem with this. I like her attitude and if I ever become rich like her I hope I can stay grounded take that attitude as well. But as far as being critical of what rich people spend on, I really don't care. I just chose to stay away from shallow people in general, regardless of socioeconomic status. I have friends with money and I'm glad for them. I'm also glad for myself. I have wonderful children, a wonderful husband, and life a comfortable life, I feel rich too. Everyday is a good day.

peace to you
but really, if you saw extravagant wealth paired with extravagant waste, how could you NOT care? it's just that people have different thresholds of what they consider wasteful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your mom friend does read this site. Just a heads up.

Does anyone believe this? I did feel a frissure (sp) of anxiety on OP’s behalf when I saw it.

Nevertheless, I find the OP's reaction very refreshing/mature to say the least. A willingness to learn and grow without being defensive in the face of criticism is admirable in my opinion and something that few can achieve.

No, I do not believe it. This is DC URBAN Moms and Dads. Where are there equestrian houses in DC?

You can't be serious... Potomac for one, Great Falls, Poolesville, anywhere about 20 minutes outside the beltway. There are TONS of stables and horse farms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your mom friend does read this site. Just a heads up.

Does anyone believe this? I did feel a frissure (sp) of anxiety on OP’s behalf when I saw it.

Nevertheless, I find the OP's reaction very refreshing/mature to say the least. A willingness to learn and grow without being defensive in the face of criticism is admirable in my opinion and something that few can achieve.

No, I do not believe it. This is DC URBAN Moms and Dads. Where are there equestrian houses in DC?

You can't be serious... Potomac for one, Great Falls, Poolesville, anywhere about 20 minutes outside the beltway. There are TONS of stables and horse farms.

maybe the pp didn't realize that "dc" and "urban" in this case encompasses all of the outlying areas.... which can definitely be very rural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I don't. Maybe there are--maybe you know such people well enough to judge their character, but I don't.

Look, I don't know that we fundamentally disagree that much. I'm sure that there are shockingly shallow rich people just as there are shockingly shallow poor people. What bothers me is seeing so many people jump automatically from "rich" to "shallow." We don't, after all, jump automatically from "poor" to "lazy." (Or at least we shouldn't.)

Wow, tell me where you live, because I'd like to move there. In my wealthy neighborhood in a town with the reputation for "conspicuous consumption", there are more people with fubared values than I can throw a stick at. To protect my anonymity, I hestitate to give specific examples, but there are really some people I know who have their head up their a$$es.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your mom friend does read this site. Just a heads up.

Does anyone believe this? I did feel a frissure (sp) of anxiety on OP’s behalf when I saw it.

Nevertheless, I find the OP's reaction very refreshing/mature to say the least. A willingness to learn and grow without being defensive in the face of criticism is admirable in my opinion and something that few can achieve.

No, I do not believe it. This is DC URBAN Moms and Dads. Where are there equestrian houses in DC?

You can't be serious... Potomac for one, Great Falls, Poolesville, anywhere about 20 minutes outside the beltway. There are TONS of stables and horse farms.

maybe the pp didn't realize that "dc" and "urban" in this case encompasses all of the outlying areas.... which can definitely be very rural.

I guess I really don't associate those areas with "urban". For the record I grew up in Great Falls, and attended Madeira for their riding program. There are not tons of horse farms out there, but very few and even fewer in McLean. I can't imagine someone who's spending a greater part of the day taking care of animals and mucking stalls has the time to post on DCUMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your mom friend does read this site. Just a heads up.

Does anyone believe this? I did feel a frissure (sp) of anxiety on OP’s behalf when I saw it.

Nevertheless, I find the OP's reaction very refreshing/mature to say the least. A willingness to learn and grow without being defensive in the face of criticism is admirable in my opinion and something that few can achieve.

No, I do not believe it. This is DC URBAN Moms and Dads. Where are there equestrian houses in DC?

You can't be serious... Potomac for one, Great Falls, Poolesville, anywhere about 20 minutes outside the beltway. There are TONS of stables and horse farms.

maybe the pp didn't realize that "dc" and "urban" in this case encompasses all of the outlying areas.... which can definitely be very rural.

I guess I really don't associate those areas with "urban". For the record I grew up in Great Falls, and attended Madeira for their riding program. There are not tons of horse farms out there, but very few and even fewer in McLean. I can't imagine someone who's spending a greater part of the day taking care of animals and mucking stalls has the time to post on DCUMs.

Um, I'm sure the mom pays people to do those chores. And there are tons of homes w/ horses in that area. When I drive through I see yellow and black signs on major roads noting horse crossing. They are all over Montgomery, Loudon, Fairfax and Frederick counties. They butt right up to developments and the people who can afford them can usually afford help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your mom friend does read this site. Just a heads up.

Does anyone believe this? I did feel a frissure (sp) of anxiety on OP’s behalf when I saw it.

Nevertheless, I find the OP's reaction very refreshing/mature to say the least. A willingness to learn and grow without being defensive in the face of criticism is admirable in my opinion and something that few can achieve.

No, I do not believe it. This is DC URBAN Moms and Dads. Where are there equestrian houses in DC?

You can't be serious... Potomac for one, Great Falls, Poolesville, anywhere about 20 minutes outside the beltway. There are TONS of stables and horse farms.

maybe the pp didn't realize that "dc" and "urban" in this case encompasses all of the outlying areas.... which can definitely be very rural.

I guess I really don't associate those areas with "urban". For the record I grew up in Great Falls, and attended Madeira for their riding program. There are not tons of horse farms out there, but very few and even fewer in McLean. I can't imagine someone who's spending a greater part of the day taking care of animals and mucking stalls has the time to post on DCUMs.

Right, the users of the website are strictly prohibited from being outside the city of DC and can ONLY be in urban areas. It is monitored VERY closely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I don't. Maybe there are--maybe you know such people well enough to judge their character, but I don't.

Look, I don't know that we fundamentally disagree that much. I'm sure that there are shockingly shallow rich people just as there are shockingly shallow poor people. What bothers me is seeing so many people jump automatically from "rich" to "shallow." We don't, after all, jump automatically from "poor" to "lazy." (Or at least we shouldn't.)

I don't see that at all in this thread. No one is criticizing money, just the use of it.

Who are we to criticize what rich people do with their money? I'm glad they spend their money, it helps keep the economy afloat. 11:18 admittedly spends her money on things that most of us can only dream of having. I don't have a problem with this. I like her attitude and if I ever become rich like her I hope I can stay grounded take that attitude as well. But as far as being critical of what rich people spend on, I really don't care. I just chose to stay away from shallow people in general, regardless of socioeconomic status. I have friends with money and I'm glad for them. I'm also glad for myself. I have wonderful children, a wonderful husband, and life a comfortable life, I feel rich too. Everyday is a good day.

peace to you
but really, if you saw extravagant wealth paired with extravagant waste, how could you NOT care? it's just that people have different thresholds of what they consider wasteful.

Because if I cared it would drive me crazy, there is always going to be someone else who has more things than me. I can't spend time focusing on what everyone else is doing and the shopping bags they have loaded into the back of their SUV or how many a/c units it takes to run their home. I focus on my family and the values I want to teach my kids and those values do not comprise of worrying about what everyone else's disposable income is and how they chose to spend that income. What do you propose society should do? Run up to them shaking our heads and wagging our fingers? I don’t want them being nosy about my purchases and I won’t be nosy about theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These "people who are so shallow that all they can think to do with their money is buy huge things for themselves with it" are straw men (or women). I don't see them here. What I do see is people assuming that people are shallow just because they have nice homes and cars. Why not assume that such people are more like 11:18 (who also has nice homes and cars)?

Well said. I've been thinking similar things as I've read the posts here. It's upsetting how much class warfare on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These "people who are so shallow that all they can think to do with their money is buy huge things for themselves with it" are straw men (or women). I don't see them here. What I do see is people assuming that people are shallow just because they have nice homes and cars. Why not assume that such people are more like 11:18 (who also has nice homes and cars)?

Well said. I've been thinking similar things as I've read the posts here. It's upsetting how much class warfare on this board.

i think it's actually a reflection of the "real world" and not just this board. nobody will talk about it in person, but those sentiments are there, like it or not.

[Anonymous]

You know what, I have been a a-hole without money and now I am a a-hole with money. The latter is better. Day to day I am nice person, but you know what, money only changes those who are susceptible to change. I would love to have conspicuous consumption, bigger bags, nicer shoes, bigger jewelry. I love the stuff. But at the end of the day, I know what counts and I think even rich people can have a heart and morals. Should they live so below their means as to not be judged? Isn't this the same as the person that lives above their means to impress? Isn't at all pathetic? I do not begrudge anyone their money...live large, live well, do good! Karma is smiling on you...pass it on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what, I have been a a-hole without money and now I am a a-hole with money. The latter is better. Day to day I am nice person, but you know what, money only changes those who are susceptible to change. I would love to have conspicuous consumption, bigger bags, nicer shoes, bigger jewelry. I love the stuff. But at the end of the day, I know what counts and I think even rich people can have a heart and morals. Should they live so below their means as to not be judged? Isn't this the same as the person that lives above their means to impress? Isn't at all pathetic? I do not begrudge anyone their money...live large, live well, do good! Karma is smiling on you...pass it on!

Materialism and excess used to be considered a vice. When did that change?

[Anonymous]

Are they materialistic when they buy things they need/enjoy and can AFFORD it? Where does that slippery slide end? Should I own ONE pair of shoes? Should I cancel the gym? Should I not get my shitty hair colored (I mean, the natural color is NOT good)? Aren't these materialistic people driving local businesses/restaurants/theaters? There is gluttony, but can people ENJOY money and what it brings? Is that a VICE? The people who have helped to bring about the economic crisis in this country are the ones who should be accused of excess. Is it excess when you can afford it and you have the space? Geez...I love my vices (Chanel mascara is the BEST, try it seriously).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they materialistic when they buy things they need/enjoy and can AFFORD it? Where does that slippery slide end? Should I own ONE pair of shoes? Should I cancel the gym? Should I not get my shitty hair colored (I mean, the natural color is NOT good)? Aren't these materialistic people driving local businesses/restaurants/theaters? There is gluttony, but can people ENJOY money and what it brings? Is that a VICE? The people who have helped to bring about the economic crisis in this country are the ones who should be accused of excess. Is it excess when you can afford it and you have the space? Geez...I love my vices (Chanel mascara is the BEST, try it seriously).

What are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Despite some of the veering off responses, I think this post raises some interesting issues that I have struggled with. My husband and I come from humble backgrounds. We worked hard, and we were lucky. We are doing very well financially.


While we do not like showy wealth and cringe at the fact that we are "new money" we try to not be conspicous. However, we do have a very nice home, and drive nice but not flashy cars (think audis, volvo, or bmw).

However, I will say there are times I hesitate to initiate a play date or get togethers with women I would like to get to know better who I know are in different circumstances for fear they will "judge" me for my home. I used to think that was silly, and then I have had a few comments made that were a bit biting in nature about our house. I guess the point is, I certainly do not judge others by their home, their cars, etc. other than those that are flashy, logo crazy, which I admit to being a bit judgmental about. . .I would like to think that families I invite to our home would extend to me the same. I am low key, and value friendship highly. I think we should all try to think the best of others unless proven otherwise.