ugh, I look like a mom

[Anonymous]

Not really...I am 42 and where a size 2/4 skinny jeans, frye boots, fun tops. I look like every other mom who is in shape and can pull it off.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP of this post and I just wanted to give you all an update since my shopping "spree" is over (sorry it’s so long!). I spent about $2,500, but it was totally worth it. I got some classic things that I will wear for a looooong time, I feel terrific, and I'm at a point in my career where I need to look good, so it had to be done. I haven’t bought clothes in ages because they got puked on or I gained/lost weight so frequently due to pregnancy/breastfeeding. But now I feel like I’m settled and ready to look better.

To recap, I'm 30, tall, slim, and straight up-and-down. I found that J Crew fit the best on me - very slim and straight. I liked some Boden stuff, but their clothes seem to be cut for shorter, curvy women. For example, their skirts didn’t fit me – the waists were too tight and they had extra hip material on me – and their blazers were for larger busts than I have. I also ordered shoes on Zappos and Piperlime. Found no jewelry online (ordered some from Piperlime and it seemed junky), but did get some earrings, necklaces, and a pair of sunglasses at Nordstrom Rack and necklace I love on sale at Banana. Still in search of jeans and the perfect work pants.

Here are the other places I ordered from:

J Crew Factory – Kept a few blouses and a necklace, but otherwise returned everything. Quality disappointing. For example, I purchased some fantastic quality J Crew skirts on sale for around $80. The J Crew Factory skirts didn’t fit well, weren’t lined, the material wrinkled really easily, etc. The J Crew sale stuff seems to be only slightly more expensive than the Factory stuff anyway. Will stick to regular J Crew.

Anthropologie – Pretty much returned everything except two pairs of fabulous shoes. Sizing was all weird (sometimes a 4 was huge, sometimes a 6 didn’t even fit), styles were a little too funky, quality just wasn’t there for the price.

ModCloth – I was psyched about this site, and literally returned every item. Quality was terrible.

Nordstrom – I would only buy lingerie and shoes online in the future. On the plus side, shipping and returns were free, so it was really easy.

Banana Republic – Got some great basic sweaters and a work purse I adore, but didn’t order anything else.

Old Navy – Shockingly, loved their collared shirts, everything else went back. Seems like it’s cut for size 12+.

And here’s basically what I ended up with:

JCrew – Long wool winter coat (black), 5-6 basic skirts in various lengths and colors, light spring military jacket, a few layering sweaters in basic colors
Old Navy – collared button downs in various colors, layering camis
J Crew Factory – some basic shells and a few other blouses
Banana Republic – A few neutral cardigans (black, gray, blue, pink), plain ballet-neck light sweater tops (black, gray)
Boden – two great dresses, cropped cashmere cardigan, a couple of basic tunics to wear with leggings/skinny jeans
Nordstrom – basic Chantelle lingerie, Calvin Klein shift dresses (black and white stripe, purple)
Shoes – Cole Haan knee-high black boots, black ankle booties (Ecco), black pumps (Nine West), nude pumps, black suede heeled strappy pumps (Boden), ballet flats (gray, black, nude, pink – J Crew), a couple pair of funky heels just for fun (Anthropologie)
Jewelry – a few neutral “statement” necklaces, a few pair of simple earrings, a few pair of slightly dangly earrings
Accessories – tights and hose, a few scarves in various basic prints, sunglasses, large work purse, smaller neutral bag
Sephora – Got a makeover, ended up with about 5 shades of NARS lipstick, NARS blush, eye liner, some awesome mascara, a Sephora eye shadow set,and some pressed powder

I feel like I’m all set (until the summer at least – ha!). I got mostly neutral stuff, so I’ve been able to mix and match really well. Thoughts? Anything else I should be looking for? Also, I need jeans!!! I tried on some Hudsons per recs on here at Nordstrom Rack and they were too low-cut and wayyyy too long (although I guess they could be hemmed). Maybe I’ll just not wear jeans and stick with skirts, leggings, and my one pair of Loft skinny jeans that I adore.

[Anonymous]

All that for $2500!? I'm impressed!

On jeans, I've read good things about the Levis 535 skinny jeans. Haven't ordered them myself yet (but was thinking of it today!), but there are a ton of positive reviews on zappos. aintnomomjeans.com, which is where I heard of them, is a fan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All that for $2500!? I'm impressed!

On jeans, I've read good things about the Levis 535 skinny jeans. Haven't ordered them myself yet (but was thinking of it today!), but there are a ton of positive reviews on zappos. aintnomomjeans.com, which is where I heard of them, is a fan.

Thanks! I think almost everything was on sale. Trolled the clearance sections and waited for good coupons for the month. I also ordered about $5,000 worth, but ended up returning half of it.

[Anonymous]

I'm happy for you, OP! Sounds great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get in shape, that will fix the jeans problem. Gap fits me just fine: if you don't have a ginormous ass, they will look ok.

This was a totally bitchy and unhelpful response. I am a size 8 and hardly have a "ginormous ass;" Gap jeans look like crap on me.

Everyone is different. I'm a size 8 and gap jeans look fine on me.

Yes, but see, suggesting that OP or others here all have "ginormous asses" and need to get in shape is just bitchy and not necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 33 and I think a stylish dresser. For those who need it, invest in a high waisted jeans. Nordstrom carries Joes, Paige and J Brand high waisted ones. They are worth the extra cost. For the size 4s out there, wear leggings with longer shirts. I would go to h&m for the leggings and a couple flowy, boyfriend shirts. Throw a vest or drapey cardigan on it if you need more warmth. I got turned onto cashmere sweaters lately and will never go back. The downside is that I can only afford one a season, but there are so many out there that are not "momish". Good luck and post some photos of your finds if you need opinions...

I am a size 2-4, and this is never a good look for me because I have breasts (not huge - 32D) and usually look fat/bloated/pregnant or just like I never got out of my pajamas in the flowy shirt/leggings combination.

OP again. So jealous. Wish I had breasts! I'm a 32b-c, but they aren't much. I am totally straight up and down. I think I could actually look good in the leggings and flowy shirt look because of my body type, but I'd rather be a 2/4 WITH boobs!

Oh, honey it could be worse. I'd kill to be you. I'm a 36AA. THAT's flat.

[Anonymous]

Having a thing peek out of your jeans will get rid of the mom look.

[Anonymous]

I meant thong.

[Anonymous]

For the love of all that is holy, do NOT try to revive the long dead, and justifiably so, thong up the crack. No one wants to see it. Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I looked in the mirror this morning and thought the exact same thing. From my cheap jeans to my ugly flats because I have awful feet, I just don't feel pretty or stylish anymore.

I love the PP who suggest classic staples and I always want to do this but somehow never do.

For jeans, where do you shop if you're not a size 4 or 6? I've got hips and thighs and designer jeans just don't fit me.

Agree with this. And Gap are terrible because they never fit right in the waist. I want something that will fit over some curves, hit around my belly button to avoid that horrible muffin top look, has a little stretch (but not too much) and doesn't gap in the back. Am I asking too much?

Try the Sweetheart cut jeans from Old Navy.

Great for curves -- smaller in the waist, larger in the hips and thighs -- and comes in Petite and Tall, as well as regular length.

Also, completely affordable!

[Anonymous]

OP, did you ever find a good haircut? If so, what did you do?

If you're still looking, I highly recommend Camille at Bogart Salon in Georgetown. She's great with both color/highlights and cuts, and her rates are tolerable (and frankly, worth every penny given how good she is.)

I also agree with the PP who suggested keeping it long but with better style/shape. Any time I've gone shorter than shoulder length, I end up with "mom hair" and regret it!

[Anonymous]

Uniqlo jeans are awesome. Same price point as gap but made with really nice japanese denim and not at all frumpy.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you returned the Anthro stuff. Some clothing there is great, but most of it would accentuate the "mom" look, in a weird boho, Little House on the Modern Prairie way.

[Anonymous]

OP have you thought of doing a long layered bob with a sideswept bang? Have been seeing this look everywhere in magazines--check out heidi's hair in the most recent project runway episode. Basically just a long bob with a more natural tousled or wavy texture. Looks very chic and new right now.

FWIW, I got a great cut from Kendall at Parlour salon on U St recently. If you have a long face like me, try to find a cut that adds volume to the sides of your face. If you cut short or go too sleek, your face looks longer.