Yet another post about 5-6 year old boys in the women's changing/bathroom at the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Seriously? What are you worried about? What kind of pool, exactly, do you belong to? This is very weird.

I know... What exactly is the fear here? Is there some epidemic of child molestation at neighborhood pools that I'm unaware of? Practically every pool locker room I've ever been in has had at least several - and usually lots - of people in it.

What makes it even more absurd is the notion that the danger is heightened because there might be a "bunch" of naked men in the locker room. So, clearly, all those naked men are all perverts and working together? Is that pp clinically insane? I mean, I don't mean to be insensitive, but that sort of paranoia borders on "see a professional" territory. If anything, having multiple men in the room makes the environment safer.

No it boarders on having insider knowledge. Ask any states attorney if they let their 5 year old child in a bathroom alone with naked people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

It doesn't work that way. He has fine motor skill delays. But at least he has empathy for others.

Your son's delays don't mean that my daugther has to give up her privacy. She should be able to go into a locker room for her gender and not be gawked at. Are you sure he has empathy - then why is he staring and making other people uncomfortable?

New Poster. Sigh. This is how these threads always turn out. What's the point?

NP here. First pp, OP did not indicate in her post that her child might gawk at others or cannot pull up his pants at 6 years old because he has a motor delay. If that was OP even posting. And yes, it does make a difference because maybe posters would have understood her predicament more.

Second, just because a child is special needs does not mean rules should be broken. If a pool has an age limit in a locker room, it is there for a reason. A naked 13 year-old girl chaning in the appropriate place should not be made to feel uncomfortable if a 10 year old SN boy needs to enter to use the bathroom. Sorry it is what it is and if the pool does not have a handicapped restroom for multiples then maybe this is something that people should take up with management.

Signed someone who has a 50 year old uncle with special needs.

He's five and he's not breaking any rules. There was no need to point out he has fine motor skill issues because it's not a big deal. It only became a big deal when another poster acted like he should be old enough to do it himself and wasn't particularly nice about it.

I'm trying to be sensitive to others in the changing room, even when I don't have to be. That's it.

I know you aren’t breaking rules OP. I was posting because some people seem to think that until they are comfortable with their DC being alone they can bring them into a changing room for the opposite sex. It does not work that way. I have nothing against what you are doing FWIW.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are still wondering- I am Russian and I have no cultural or other issues with 5 y.o.s in a locker room.

[Anonymous]

These threads always turn into a battle of "My daughter has a right to privacy" vs. "My son has a right to be protected from sexual predators."

It's the same thread again and again and again. Both points are equally valid. Nobody wins.

No, people can "win" when there is a clear, enforced pool rule as to what ages of opposite-sex children are appropriate in a locker room. That's the best way of going about it - and if patroms feel the compromise is poor, they can go (or swim) elsewhere. It's only when this rule is broken that folks like some of the PPs generally object. Though as OP has stated, her son is still younger than what most places state is the cut-off, so she is just being proactive. But it's not like this "problem" doesn't have a solution.

[Anonymous]

We used to belong to a Y in southern CA (actually, in the same town where Matthew Cecchi was killed--so you'd think they would be more sensitive to this) where you could not bring children over the age of 3 in to the opposite gender locker room.
I have sons, and there was no way I was going to send my 4 year old into a men's locker room by himself. They had family changing rooms, but it was just a room--no toilet, sinks, showers, etc. It really limited the amount of time we spent at the pool, which is a shame.

Every time I went in, I told the people at the front desk what a terrible thing it was that they didn't have an adequate system for 4 years olds to use the bathroom if they didn't have a same sex parent with them, but they never did anything about it. it's been several years now since I've lived there--so I dont know if they have changed anything.

I would just keep asking the pool for a better arrangement....maybe find a different pool with a family locker room set up.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe people are saying that changing your clothes in the locker room is equivalent to public nudity. I don't like my girls to stay in their wet swimsuits because it fosters infections, for me too. So we do rinse off showers and change. I also workout at the community center in the mornings, take a shower and change. Where the heck am I supposed to change if it's not right there in the locker room? This makes no sense to me. I had no idea people were judgmentally thinking we were doing something wrong by changing our clothes in the locker room for heavens sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people are saying that changing your clothes in the locker room is equivalent to public nudity. I don't like my girls to stay in their wet swimsuits because it fosters infections, for me too. So we do rinse off showers and change. I also workout at the community center in the mornings, take a shower and change. Where the heck am I supposed to change if it's not right there in the locker room? This makes no sense to me. I had no idea people were judgmentally thinking we were doing something wrong by changing our clothes in the locker room for heavens sake.

You aren't doing anything wrong at all.

[Anonymous]

No it boarders on having insider knowledge. Ask any states attorney if they let their 5 year old child in a bathroom alone with naked people.

Well I'm a USA and this sounds ridiculous to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Seriously? What are you worried about? What kind of pool, exactly, do you belong to? This is very weird.

I know... What exactly is the fear here? Is there some epidemic of child molestation at neighborhood pools that I'm unaware of? Practically every pool locker room I've ever been in has had at least several - and usually lots - of people in it.

Your kidding right? You don't know there is sexual abuse every day in this area. It only makes the papers when it is a teacher. You take your chances with naked men and I will take my chances with the sideways glance from naked women.

Sexual abuse is far more likely from someone your child knows.It is highly unlikely in a room full of men changing that one will go up to your child in the open and molest them in front of everyone. The vast, vast majority of men are not molestors or pedophiles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people are saying that changing your clothes in the locker room is equivalent to public nudity. I don't like my girls to stay in their wet swimsuits because it fosters infections, for me too. So we do rinse off showers and change. I also workout at the community center in the mornings, take a shower and change. Where the heck am I supposed to change if it's not right there in the locker room? This makes no sense to me. I had no idea people were judgmentally thinking we were doing something wrong by changing our clothes in the locker room for heavens sake.

People look at things differently.

For you, it's natural to completely take your clothes off and strip your child down in a public setting because you feel that is what the room is for. Others are doing the same thing, so what's the big deal? To me, I can think of several ways to address changing if necessary, that don't involve exposing my bare breasts, vagina, or the parts of my children to strangers who have no business glancing even if it's unintentional.

You think it's fine, because that is what most people do. I think it's bizarre, and sends a mixed message. We look at things differently and really, I don't see anything changing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people are saying that changing your clothes in the locker room is equivalent to public nudity. I don't like my girls to stay in their wet swimsuits because it fosters infections, for me too. So we do rinse off showers and change. I also workout at the community center in the mornings, take a shower and change. Where the heck am I supposed to change if it's not right there in the locker room? This makes no sense to me. I had no idea people were judgmentally thinking we were doing something wrong by changing our clothes in the locker room for heavens sake.

People look at things differently.

For you, it's natural to completely take your clothes off and strip your child down in a public setting because you feel that is what the room is for. Others are doing the same thing, so what's the big deal? To me, I can think of several ways to address changing if necessary, that don't involve exposing my bare breasts, vagina, or the parts of my children to strangers who have no business glancing even if it's unintentional.

You think it's fine, because that is what most people do. I think it's bizarre, and sends a mixed message. We look at things differently and really, I don't see anything changing that.

PP, what do you do when you need to shower off after the pool or after the gym?

[Anonymous]

Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

Hm, don't think so. My 2 year old gawks at naked ladies when he's in the locker room with me, just because he's not used to seeing them and they look different, not because he's hot for them or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people are saying that changing your clothes in the locker room is equivalent to public nudity. I don't like my girls to stay in their wet swimsuits because it fosters infections, for me too. So we do rinse off showers and change. I also workout at the community center in the mornings, take a shower and change. Where the heck am I supposed to change if it's not right there in the locker room? This makes no sense to me. I had no idea people were judgmentally thinking we were doing something wrong by changing our clothes in the locker room for heavens sake.

People look at things differently.

For you, it's natural to completely take your clothes off and strip your child down in a public setting because you feel that is what the room is for. Others are doing the same thing, so what's the big deal? To me, I can think of several ways to address changing if necessary, that don't involve exposing my bare breasts, vagina, or the parts of my children to strangers who have no business glancing even if it's unintentional.

You think it's fine, because that is what most people do. I think it's bizarre, and sends a mixed message. We look at things differently and really, I don't see anything changing that.

For myself, I don't strip down completely naked, and I certainly don't expose my vagina to anyone. I cover up with a towel as best I can while I dress. While putting on my panties, I cover myself with my towel and such. For my dd's who are 4 and 6, I don't go to such lengths, but again, I certainly don't expose their vagina to anyone. I think you have some issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

Hm, don't think so. My 2 year old gawks at naked ladies when he's in the locker room with me, just because he's not used to seeing them and they look different, not because he's hot for them or anything.

Do you ever think about how the other women in the locker room feel? Perhaps they don't want someone's 2 year old staring at their naked bodies when they're trying to change. But it's all about your kid and who cares about anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

Hm, don't think so. My 2 year old gawks at naked ladies when he's in the locker room with me, just because he's not used to seeing them and they look different, not because he's hot for them or anything.

Do you ever think about how the other women in the locker room feel? Perhaps they don't want someone's 2 year old staring at their naked bodies when they're trying to change. But it's all about your kid and who cares about anyone else.

Yes, it is all about a TWO YEAR OLD KID. That's right. You got it.