Yet another post about 5-6 year old boys in the women's changing/bathroom at the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

It doesn't work that way. He has fine motor skill delays. But at least he has empathy for others.

[Anonymous]

I post early and often on these threads because this is SUCH a pet peeve of mine. And here is what it boils down to for me. I am an adult. If some other woman wants to bring her older son into the locker room, if he stares at me, I am simply going to tell him to stop staring because it is rude. I figure if there is a posted sign that says opposite sex kids of x age need to go into the proper locker room and you break the rules for whatever reason, I am calling you out on it if the opportunity presents itself. What bothers me most is when I have my upper elementary school aged daughter with me and some woman brings her 7 or 8 or 9 or 10 year old son in with her while she showers, changes, blow dries, etc. That drives me batshit insane because my daughter is often uncomfortable being seen naked by her same or similar aged peer. When it happens, I call the mom out on it. Every. Single. Time. I am polite and firm. "Your son looks older than 6, the post rule is that opposite sex children 7 and over need go in their locker room. I understand that you might be uncomfortable letting him into the men's locker room, but my daughter and myself are following the posted rules and you are not, please wait outside until we are finished." Sometimes they complain and then I simply say, "I certainly understand your dilemma, but I must insist. If you do not respect my daughter, I will certainly wait upstairs for you to finish so that I can point you out to the management and ask to have your privileges at this facility curtailed or revoked." And every time that this happens, other women in the locker room always tell me how glad they are that I spoke up. Every time.

ITA. +100.

Also both my brother and I were on the swim team from about 5 years onward. We got in and out of swimsuits all the time. I don't think its a big deal that your DS may have trouble with this OP, but I think you should definitely practice getting in and out of trunks with him, because (absent some sort of specific problems/needs), this is something he can definitely master soon.

Oh and incidentially, as a swimmer from an early age, the 7-8 yr old+ boys that would come into the dressing room with Mom when I (by! myself!) was changing totally creeped me out back then. Far more than the fact that I was in the locker room "alone." So again, ITA with the PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just stand outside the men's bathroom while my 6 year old uses it for #1. I know that if he is taking too long, there is a problem. Thankfully, he has not had to do #2 there yet. It is also difficult for me because I worry about the men using the bathroom, but I have no problem sticking my head in the door and calling his name to make sure he is ok.

Seriously? What are you worried about? What kind of pool, exactly, do you belong to? This is very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do NOT send your boy into a bathroom alone with a bunch of naked men. PERIOD

Both the boy and girl - okay hold my hand - look at the floor - let's go.

Wow, pp. You really have a perverted mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

It doesn't work that way. He has fine motor skill delays. But at least he has empathy for others.

Your son's delays don't mean that my daugther has to give up her privacy. She should be able to go into a locker room for her gender and not be gawked at. Are you sure he has empathy - then why is he staring and making other people uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

I would not worry about the Asian or Russian immigrants. Being naked and having small kids around is not a big deal and by small, I mean under 10. It's the uptight Americans that think this is a big deal as proven by this thread. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

It doesn't work that way. He has fine motor skill delays. But at least he has empathy for others.

Your son's delays don't mean that my daugther has to give up her privacy. She should be able to go into a locker room for her gender and not be gawked at. Are you sure he has empathy - then why is he staring and making other people uncomfortable?

I'm just discovering a problem here and proactively looking for a solution. I'm not insulting other people's children.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? What are you worried about? What kind of pool, exactly, do you belong to? This is very weird.

I know... What exactly is the fear here? Is there some epidemic of child molestation at neighborhood pools that I'm unaware of? Practically every pool locker room I've ever been in has had at least several - and usually lots - of people in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Seriously? What are you worried about? What kind of pool, exactly, do you belong to? This is very weird.

I know... What exactly is the fear here? Is there some epidemic of child molestation at neighborhood pools that I'm unaware of? Practically every pool locker room I've ever been in has had at least several - and usually lots - of people in it.

What makes it even more absurd is the notion that the danger is heightened because there might be a "bunch" of naked men in the locker room. So, clearly, all those naked men are all perverts and working together? Is that pp clinically insane? I mean, I don't mean to be insensitive, but that sort of paranoia borders on "see a professional" territory. If anything, having multiple men in the room makes the environment safer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

It doesn't work that way. He has fine motor skill delays. But at least he has empathy for others.

Your son's delays don't mean that my daugther has to give up her privacy. She should be able to go into a locker room for her gender and not be gawked at. Are you sure he has empathy - then why is he staring and making other people uncomfortable?

New Poster. Sigh. This is how these threads always turn out. What's the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Seriously? What are you worried about? What kind of pool, exactly, do you belong to? This is very weird.

I know... What exactly is the fear here? Is there some epidemic of child molestation at neighborhood pools that I'm unaware of? Practically every pool locker room I've ever been in has had at least several - and usually lots - of people in it.

Your kidding right? You don't know there is sexual abuse every day in this area. It only makes the papers when it is a teacher. You take your chances with naked men and I will take my chances with the sideways glance from naked women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

It doesn't work that way. He has fine motor skill delays. But at least he has empathy for others.

Your son's delays don't mean that my daugther has to give up her privacy. She should be able to go into a locker room for her gender and not be gawked at. Are you sure he has empathy - then why is he staring and making other people uncomfortable?

New Poster. Sigh. This is how these threads always turn out. What's the point?

NP here. First pp, OP did not indicate in her post that her child might gawk at others or cannot pull up his pants at 6 years old because he has a motor delay. If that was OP even posting. And yes, it does make a difference because maybe posters would have understood her predicament more.

Second, just because a child is special needs does not mean rules should be broken. If a pool has an age limit in a locker room, it is there for a reason. A naked 13 year-old girl chaning in the appropriate place should not be made to feel uncomfortable if a 10 year old SN boy needs to enter to use the bathroom. Sorry it is what it is and if the pool does not have a handicapped restroom for multiples then maybe this is something that people should take up with management.

Signed someone who has a 50 year old uncle with special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do NOT send your boy into a bathroom alone with a bunch of naked men. PERIOD

Both the boy and girl - okay hold my hand - look at the floor - let's go.

Wow, pp. You really have a perverted mind.

How is this perverted?

[Anonymous]

Your missing the point.

These threads always turn into a battle of "My daughter has a right to privacy" vs. "My son has a right to be protected from sexual predators."

It's the same thread again and again and again. Both points are equally valid. Nobody wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if your son is old enough to gawk at my daughter's naked body, then he should be old enough to pull up his own pants.

It doesn't work that way. He has fine motor skill delays. But at least he has empathy for others.

Your son's delays don't mean that my daugther has to give up her privacy. She should be able to go into a locker room for her gender and not be gawked at. Are you sure he has empathy - then why is he staring and making other people uncomfortable?

New Poster. Sigh. This is how these threads always turn out. What's the point?

NP here. First pp, OP did not indicate in her post that her child might gawk at others or cannot pull up his pants at 6 years old because he has a motor delay. If that was OP even posting. And yes, it does make a difference because maybe posters would have understood her predicament more.

Second, just because a child is special needs does not mean rules should be broken. If a pool has an age limit in a locker room, it is there for a reason. A naked 13 year-old girl chaning in the appropriate place should not be made to feel uncomfortable if a 10 year old SN boy needs to enter to use the bathroom. Sorry it is what it is and if the pool does not have a handicapped restroom for multiples then maybe this is something that people should take up with management.

Signed someone who has a 50 year old uncle with special needs.

He's five and he's not breaking any rules. There was no need to point out he has fine motor skill issues because it's not a big deal. It only became a big deal when another poster acted like he should be old enough to do it himself and wasn't particularly nice about it.

I'm trying to be sensitive to others in the changing room, even when I don't have to be. That's it.