I hate my brother.

[Anonymous]

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

OP - you learned your lesson and it cost you finacially and emotionally. Since your brother is AWOL I seriously doubt you'll be able to get anything out of him. Chalk it up to an expensive life lesson.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure you haven't thought about this but you might consider filing a Small Claims Court action and then also submitting it to Judge Judy - I'm not kidding! I did it! You have to find your brother in or to get him served but this is EXACTLY the kind of case Judge Judy (and others like her) look for. You can add your filing costs, process servers (they're good at finding people to serve them) to the damage cost. I actually didn't get to go on Judge Judy but they did call me. They're more interested in cases where there was a prior relationship between the parties, which wasn't true in our case. They'll pay the judgement and fly you out there. Just a thought. At least a judgement would mean some nice Christmas presents this year!

[Anonymous]

OP, was he in a state prison or a county jail? If he was in state prison, is there a state parole and probation office, vs. the county level?

And if you are in MD, you can look him up on case search Maryland. That might give you more information. At the very least, it would tell you case numbers and the judge's name. I'd probably write a letter to the judge, although s/he may not necessarily do anything about it, but it's worth a shot. Take pictures of your car and write a narrative of events.

Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure you haven't thought about this but you might consider filing a Small Claims Court action and then also submitting it to Judge Judy - I'm not kidding! I did it! You have to find your brother in or to get him served but this is EXACTLY the kind of case Judge Judy (and others like her) look for. You can add your filing costs, process servers (they're good at finding people to serve them) to the damage cost. I actually didn't get to go on Judge Judy but they did call me. They're more interested in cases where there was a prior relationship between the parties, which wasn't true in our case. They'll pay the judgement and fly you out there. Just a thought. At least a judgement would mean some nice Christmas presents this year!

Great idea! sign me a Judge Judy fan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, OP!

You're doing well!

IMO, blood is not thicker than water. So cut him off and move on.

Agree with this. Cut him off! Ugh, not worth it AT ALL. Unforgivable, in my book. He couldn't even face you? WTF? He sounds pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I did call the cops to file a report. They said I can't because I don't know what happened or where. I cannot prove that he "inflicted" the damage and I cannot prove that he "stole" the cash. Why the hell is this system so effing messed up!? He took my car for a few hours and disappeared for over two days then brought it back, but it's not theft because I gave him the keys initially. While he had the vehicle it got damaged, really bad, I wish I knew how to post photos on here...and I can't file a police report because I don't know the details. I called to file a claim with my insurance, but I don't have $500 for the deductible. My brother is gone. No one knows where he is or who he is with. My other brothers are all up in arms about him being an ass and all of them told me what every one here has said (not to ever let him near anything of mine ever again and that he is absolutely not trust worthy). My dad is furious, not only with my brother, but with me for allowing him to do this. My sister wrote on his FB page asking him to be a better example for our children and to show the people that love him that he actually loves us too.

I could sue him for the $500 deductible, but again, I don't know where he is or how to find him. All of his friends on FB know he's an ass now because I posted all over his page (tagged him in comments) about what he did to me. Also, I called the county to find out who his PO is and they have no record of him having one. My mom thinks he "slipped through the cracks" in the system and I'm livid.

My best friend is angry for me because shit like this keeps happening to me, why!? I don't know. I guess the universe wants to kick me while I'm down. At least my son is healthy and happy, we have a safe place to live and the rest of my family is emotionally supportive. Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket, I feel like I'm due for some good luck! HA!

Also, sorry this is so long, but you judgemental bitches, I am not some immature 18 year old that got knocked up on purpose because I wanted to hang out at the park and let everyone "ooo" and "ahhh" over my baby. I'm 27 and his father walked out on us because he decided he "didn't want to be a father", instead of aborting the child like a lot of women do, I did chose to keep him and I don't regret that choice for one second. So maybe being a single mom is "self inflicted" in my situation because I could have given him up for adoption, but I never once said that I regret this choice. I work really hard to balance work, school and family and I think I'm doing a damn good job. I can't help it if life keeps shitting on me for trying to be a good person. Some times good people get taken advantage of, now I know better than to trust my own brother. It wont ever happen again.

I also assume those of you who want to shit on me are all "onlies" and don't understand what it's like to have siblings. You love them and WANT to be there for them. I'm the type of person that trusts people until they prove themselves untrustworthy. My brother just proved himself and ended up causing me stress and more financial hardship. Never. Again.

Stop wallowing in self pity, it is unbecoming and absolutely no good. You keep getting kicked because you are an enabler and then say, "Woe is me." Yes, you chose to have sex without protection and you took a gamble re pregnancy. Smart women get married before having children and then if their husbands leave, it is easy for them to get child suppet child support. It is also easy for you to receive child support, prove he is the father, and go to court. Learn to say "no" and mean it and this crap will stop happening to you.

You are an enabler and you love feeling sorry for yourself and you will keep doing these things over and over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Stop wallowing in self pity, it is unbecoming and absolutely no good. You keep getting kicked because you are an enabler and then say, "Woe is me." Yes, you chose to have sex without protection and you took a gamble re pregnancy. Smart women get married before having children and then if their husbands leave, it is easy for them to get child suppet child support. It is also easy for you to receive child support, prove he is the father, and go to court. Learn to say "no" and mean it and this crap will stop happening to you.

You are an enabler and you love feeling sorry for yourself and you will keep doing these things over and over and over.

Meh, plenty of divorced women who know there their child's father is can't collect child support. It happens.

But I agree with the rest of what you posted about wallowing in self- pity and not being able to say "no".

OP - I have siblings, several of them, but I do put my family first and make decisions for us first. If my sibling just got out of jail, showed up at my house, and asked for my car my answer would have been "no ... but I am happy to help you out with a bus schedule, the number for a taxi, or you can borrow my cell right here to make a call to a friend to pick you up" If he didn't like those answers, then too bad for him.

Also, stop putting your efforts into tagging photos and comments on FB. That's just very juvenile behavior and doesn't do anything to actually help your situation or make anything better for you or your son. A better use of time - if you really want the car fixed - call around for various estimates, find a lower cost body shop, see if one of those dent repair services can fix it as opposed to a body shop, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

OP - you learned your lesson and it cost you finacially and emotionally. Since your brother is AWOL I seriously doubt you'll be able to get anything out of him. Chalk it up to an expensive life lesson.

I don't get this "fool me once" crap for her situation. What did she do to make this happen to her? She let her brother borrow her car and he being a total asshole, stole and wrecked it, through no fault of her own. Yes, he came from prision, but he is still her brother and I'm going to assume he has never done this before and she didn't assume he would.

Now if you, like other judgemental posters are referring to her single mother status, then you are living in a fantasy land. There are so many situations that one is placed in that causes this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You let your brother who just got out of prison borrow your car/ What did you expect?

This is a very sad reply. The OP loves her brother, and wanted to help him. She's not being judgmental, and is willing to give him a chance. I don't think she's stupid, but she may have been gullible. Perhaps her brother is charming, and he manipulated her into loaning him her car for a couple of hours. Some of us really do believe there's good in all people and try to give them the chance to show it. In this case, her brother failed her. I have a rotten brother, but I've given him loads and loads of chances because I love him and want the best for him. I've finally given up on him, but it makes me sad. It probably makes the OP sad that her brother's been in jail. Don't you ever want to give people a helping hand, PP? Sometimes you lose, and in this case the OP did lose, but the inclination to help someone is admirable, and I'd hate to crush that out of her because of this bad experience. Now she knows not to trust her brother, and she may learn to be more aware of warning signs that her good will is making it easy for others to manipulate her. But that good will is a precious thing, and I admire the OP for trying, even if she lost out this time.

OP, please, when you pull yourself together, do press charges. I know he's your brother, but you can't let him get away with this. How much is the dent going to cost to fix? And fifty bucks is money to me. Even if it's a misdemeanor, it's a CRIME. He's on probation, and he STOLE. How old is your brother, OP? If there are no consequences, he'll keep going with this behavior until he f***s up big time and the consequences are severe. You may help save him from himself. Even if he's beyond saving, you will be standing up for yourself, and that's worth something. Don't let this go.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd see if you can get some free legal advice. The cops are lazy and don't want to help you. A lawyer might be able to steer you in the right direction. It's unlikely you will get your money back, but I would think your brother's probation officer or the judge in this case would want to know about his behavior. You need to feel you've been heard, and at this point, calling the cops is a waste of time. Perhaps a lawyer with experience in this sort of thing can chime in here. I find it hard to believe you have no options whatsoever in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

OP - you learned your lesson and it cost you finacially and emotionally. Since your brother is AWOL I seriously doubt you'll be able to get anything out of him. Chalk it up to an expensive life lesson.

I don't get this "fool me once" crap for her situation. What did she do to make this happen to her? She let her brother borrow her car and he being a total asshole, stole and wrecked it, through no fault of her own. Yes, he came from prision, but he is still her brother and I'm going to assume he has never done this before and she didn't assume he would.

Now if you, like other judgemental posters are referring to her single mother status, then you are living in a fantasy land. There are so many situations that one is placed in that causes this. /quote]

You dumb shit. The expression means that there's no shame in doing a good deed only to find that your goodwill was abused - the first time. The shame belong to the person who abused your goodwill. If, however, you do it again for the same person and he, again, does you wrong, the shame is on you because you should have learned your lesson the first time. When people are saying this to OP, they're saying that she was not wrong to lend her bother the car this first time. He's an asshole for doing what he did. But, is she lends him the car a second time, she's an idiot because she should have predicted his behavior base on what he did the first time.

[Anonymous]

Thank you 17:24

11:26, you're an ass. Out of that whole post all you picked up on was that a friend of mine feels bad for me and that means I'm "wallowing in self pity"? How about the next time you go through a tough time in your life you don't allow yourself to be angry or sad, because then I'd just have to accuse you of "wallowing". I'm right in the middle of this and I have every right to be pissed off.
Also, I do not enable. I don't give money and I don't allow people in general to walk all over me. My brother borrowed my car last week and returned it, how was I to know that this time he wouldn't?
Last, I did use protection. So much for that .01% huh? I was even in a commited monogamous relationship, when I got pregnant, he freaked and asked me to abort. I refused for reasons stated previously. He left. And getting support isn't easy at all. He left the state so I had to track him down and he has to be served, AND since he didn't sign the birth certificate he has to take a paternity test. It's been over 6 months and I'm still waiting for that. STFU when you don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't worry about the judgemental jerks on here. They likely did everything "right" in their lives and are still miserable. Happy people don't pick on others when they are down.

[Anonymous]

OP- You have my support!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't worry about the judgemental jerks on here. They likely did everything "right" in their lives and are still miserable. Happy people don't pick on others when they are down.

+1 It's pathetic when the only way you can feel good about yourself is to judge and heap abuse on someone over the internet when you would never behave that way in real life.