Not sure why you are mad at me. I was trying to defend you. People always dog the woman for being a single mom, and never hold the man accountable. Single moms are admirable because they are taking care of innocent children. It's the fathers that should be condemned. |
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Single mother: self inflicted???
Do you say that to widows too? There are plenty 911 widows in NY. And a 12 year marriage that falls apart is also a 'bad judgement call' |
Lay a charge You have a legal claim for the the damages, and the missing money is theft. |
My heart goes out to you, OP. Hope you're okay. |
| Maybe you can take him to small claims court? I don't know much about it, but surely there are plenty of DCUMers who could tell you if that is possible. |
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I'm glad you got your car back OP. Now you can get around at least.
He obviously hasn't learned a damn thing from being in jail. Definitely let his parole office (when you find out who that is) what he did. He is an adult and treating someone and their property this way is NOT ok. Just ignore all of the heartless bitches on here with their "self inflicted" crap. You are doing your best and if they have nothing nice to say, they should keep their trap shut. |
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Right now, OP, you're overwhelmed with emotion. It may be tempting to just leave things alone and chalk it up to experience. Please follow through on filing a complaint. It takes the powerlessness away. Go get an estimate for the car damage. Something official and real to show officers. Where's the ATM slip with evidence of that cash withdrawal? I'm no lawyer and I'm not talking about what would work in court. I'm addressing the feelings that may come later, that you made too big a deal out of it, that what he did wasn't really that bad. This may also help convince other people, should the need arise. Bread for the City, Catholic Charities, and other places have free law clinics. Call your local precinct and speak to the desk officer to ask about filing actual charges. I think you may have just gotten a bad officer/bad advice. Adding that to the theft of the $50 and the destruction of property should make a point. Stay strong. |
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So glad you got your car back, OP. Now you know you can't trust your brother. Just operate under that assumption and accept the fact that he won't change and you can't change him.
Good luck! |
| This happened to my cousin. She ended up driving around with a large male friend, they went to all of her brother's hangouts. When the found her car, she parked behind it and called the police. |
That was not the OP. Which is why included the bit about my brother the idiot. Two kids, two different mothers and he blames all his problems on them. But my bad, first PP. I was talking about the Judgy Bitches who can't resist kicking OP when she's down. |
| That sucks! I hope you called the police! And by the way--awesome on the 2 jobs and in school! |
| You let your brother who just got out of prison borrow your car/ What did you expect? |
Oh STFU. People go to prison for lots of reasons and lots of people DON'T go to prison who should. That doesn't automatically mean when someone has gone to prison they should be written off by family when they get out. We have no idea why OP's brother was in prison and she wasn't wrong to let him borrow her car when he got out. Fool me once, shame on you..... |
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OP here, I did call the cops to file a report. They said I can't because I don't know what happened or where. I cannot prove that he "inflicted" the damage and I cannot prove that he "stole" the cash. Why the hell is this system so effing messed up!? He took my car for a few hours and disappeared for over two days then brought it back, but it's not theft because I gave him the keys initially. While he had the vehicle it got damaged, really bad, I wish I knew how to post photos on here...and I can't file a police report because I don't know the details. I called to file a claim with my insurance, but I don't have $500 for the deductible. My brother is gone. No one knows where he is or who he is with. My other brothers are all up in arms about him being an ass and all of them told me what every one here has said (not to ever let him near anything of mine ever again and that he is absolutely not trust worthy). My dad is furious, not only with my brother, but with me for allowing him to do this. My sister wrote on his FB page asking him to be a better example for our children and to show the people that love him that he actually loves us too.
I could sue him for the $500 deductible, but again, I don't know where he is or how to find him. All of his friends on FB know he's an ass now because I posted all over his page (tagged him in comments) about what he did to me. Also, I called the county to find out who his PO is and they have no record of him having one. My mom thinks he "slipped through the cracks" in the system and I'm livid. My best friend is angry for me because shit like this keeps happening to me, why!? I don't know. I guess the universe wants to kick me while I'm down. At least my son is healthy and happy, we have a safe place to live and the rest of my family is emotionally supportive. Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket, I feel like I'm due for some good luck! HA! Also, sorry this is so long, but you judgemental bitches, I am not some immature 18 year old that got knocked up on purpose because I wanted to hang out at the park and let everyone "ooo" and "ahhh" over my baby. I'm 27 and his father walked out on us because he decided he "didn't want to be a father", instead of aborting the child like a lot of women do, I did chose to keep him and I don't regret that choice for one second. So maybe being a single mom is "self inflicted" in my situation because I could have given him up for adoption, but I never once said that I regret this choice. I work really hard to balance work, school and family and I think I'm doing a damn good job. I can't help it if life keeps shitting on me for trying to be a good person. Some times good people get taken advantage of, now I know better than to trust my own brother. It wont ever happen again. I also assume those of you who want to shit on me are all "onlies" and don't understand what it's like to have siblings. You love them and WANT to be there for them. I'm the type of person that trusts people until they prove themselves untrustworthy. My brother just proved himself and ended up causing me stress and more financial hardship. Never. Again. |
Thank you! |