more complaints about thank-you notes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC was recently invited to a birthday party for which the invitation said something like "No gifts, please - if you must bring a gift, please consider a certificate for a special treat." I went to the local ice-cream shop in town and picked up a gift certificate. DC hand-made a card, and we stuck the gift certificate inside. I was so bummed to not receive a thank-you note! I wonder if this was "punishment" for bringing a gift when the invitation basically asked us not to?

Also, DC was invited to another birthday "party" which was really more of a get-together with just a few families at the birthday child's home (which, incidentally, is about an hour's drive from us). Everyone brought gifts, and the birthday child opened them there at the party (because the group was small, I'm assuming). Again, no thank-you note. I am guessing they thought that since they said "thank you" right there after he opened our gift, then there was no need to send a card. What do you think?

I don't know why both of these things mildly irritated me (I guess I am old-fashioned?!).

Actually Miss Manners says if the person opens the gift when you're there and says thank you that they shouldn't follow up with a thank you note. Normally I worship the ground Miss Manners walks on but I just can't not write a thank you note in that situation. That's not how I was raised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After my dc's birthday party every year, we make up a collage (on the computer - it takes about 15 minutes) of photos from the party with a typed "thanks for coming and thanks for the great gifts" note, and dc adds a quick handwritten thanks (e.g., wow, loved the bracelet you gave me!) on each one and we pop them in the mail - takes really almost no time

Wow, that is a great idea! I might steal that idea for my DD's upcoming birthday party.

We've gotten something like this in the mail....very cute. Slight suggestion on the wording...you might want to consider dropping the "and thanks for the great gifts" from the printed portion. Love having that aspect as a (as brief as you or child wants) handwritten note on the card.

[Anonymous]

18:25- should gave explained why: having the preprinted thanks about the (generic) gifts makes some people cringe. Can't ease everyone, but figured I'd mention in case peole using this method might care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get your thank you when the kid gets the gift and says thank you.

No notes. Wasteful and unnecessary.

Kids don't open gifts at parties anymore. You walk in, and put your gift on the gift table with all of the others. So, no in-person thank-yous from the kid or his parents. Even more of a reason to send a note, IMO.

LOAD OF CRAP! My kids always open their gifts so they have an opportunity to say thank you in person. And, as a result, we don't send thank you notes. There was one time when my daughter didn't have time at her party to open all the gifts so we sent thank you emails (GREEN).

[Anonymous]

omg. stop complaining every one!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:omg. stop complaining every one!!

You are aware you're on the Internet, specifically DCUrban Moms and it is our right and sworn duty to complain. So get off the internets.

[Anonymous]

Calling emailed thank you notes "green" is lame. Anyone who claims it's b/c they're trying to save the planet is blowing smoke. It's about being lazy. Just be honest.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- I spent $400 on gifts for MB, DB and all the kids for Xmas this year and not only did no one say thank you, I didn't get a note or even a bonus. I've been with the family 7 years. Needless to say, I just bought one of the boys a BDay gift and I kept it at $25. If there's no thanks, then I don't feel inspired to spend a lot on gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- I spent $400 on gifts for MB, DB and all the kids for Xmas this year and not only did no one say thank you, I didn't get a note or even a bonus. I've been with the family 7 years. Needless to say, I just bought one of the boys a BDay gift and I kept it at $25. If there's no thanks, then I don't feel inspired to spend a lot on gifts.

Difference between not saying thank you at all and saying thank you without sending cards out. You did the right thing by scaling back on cost for the next gift giving time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get your thank you when the kid gets the gift and says thank you.

No notes. Wasteful and unnecessary.

Kids don't open gifts at parties anymore. You walk in, and put your gift on the gift table with all of the others. So, no in-person thank-yous from the kid or his parents. Even more of a reason to send a note, IMO.

LOAD OF CRAP! My kids always open their gifts so they have an opportunity to say thank you in person. And, as a result, we don't send thank you notes. There was one time when my daughter didn't have time at her party to open all the gifts so we sent thank you emails (GREEN).

Tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC was recently invited to a birthday party for which the invitation said something like "No gifts, please - if you must bring a gift, please consider a certificate for a special treat." I went to the local ice-cream shop in town and picked up a gift certificate. DC hand-made a card, and we stuck the gift certificate inside. I was so bummed to not receive a thank-you note! I wonder if this was "punishment" for bringing a gift when the invitation basically asked us not to?

Also, DC was invited to another birthday "party" which was really more of a get-together with just a few families at the birthday child's home (which, incidentally, is about an hour's drive from us). Everyone brought gifts, and the birthday child opened them there at the party (because the group was small, I'm assuming). Again, no thank-you note. I am guessing they thought that since they said "thank you" right there after he opened our gift, then there was no need to send a card. What do you think?

I don't know why both of these things mildly irritated me (I guess I am old-fashioned?!).

You don't get a thank you note for a no-gift party and you don't get a note when thanks are received in person. I'm an avid note writer, but thems the rules, mama.