more complaints about thank-you notes

[Anonymous]

DC was recently invited to a birthday party for which the invitation said something like "No gifts, please - if you must bring a gift, please consider a certificate for a special treat." I went to the local ice-cream shop in town and picked up a gift certificate. DC hand-made a card, and we stuck the gift certificate inside. I was so bummed to not receive a thank-you note! I wonder if this was "punishment" for bringing a gift when the invitation basically asked us not to?

Also, DC was invited to another birthday "party" which was really more of a get-together with just a few families at the birthday child's home (which, incidentally, is about an hour's drive from us). Everyone brought gifts, and the birthday child opened them there at the party (because the group was small, I'm assuming). Again, no thank-you note. I am guessing they thought that since they said "thank you" right there after he opened our gift, then there was no need to send a card. What do you think?

I don't know why both of these things mildly irritated me (I guess I am old-fashioned?!).

[Anonymous]

Most people don't write thank you notes. Where have you been?

Yes, I get my panties in a bunch over it, and rant about how tacky they are. Take it up with my mom if you have an issue with that.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you, but sometimes life happens, and parents forget. I have dutifully had both my kids craft special thank you notes post party for nearly 8 years. I am very "in" to the lost art of mailing thank you notes.

However, I dropped the ball with our last party. It's been over six months, so it would be awkard to send thank you's at this point. I know there are some parents' out there judging our family etiquette. I feel horrible.

I like to think that everyone's heart is in the right place, and sometimes we mess up.

[Anonymous]

Send the cards anyway.

I still want my thank you.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

How about this one? My daughter's 10th birthday was in Oct and she carefully wrote out very detailed and thoughtful thank you notes. She gave them to me and I said I would address and mail them. I then promptly forgot until I found them last week. Send them out? If I send, do I put an enclosure note explaining or just send them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about this one? My daughter's 10th birthday was in Oct and she carefully wrote out very detailed and thoughtful thank you notes. She gave them to me and I said I would address and mail them. I then promptly forgot until I found them last week. Send them out? If I send, do I put an enclosure note explaining or just send them?

I would definitely send them, with a little "sorry so late!" note jotted inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about this one? My daughter's 10th birthday was in Oct and she carefully wrote out very detailed and thoughtful thank you notes. She gave them to me and I said I would address and mail them. I then promptly forgot until I found them last week. Send them out? If I send, do I put an enclosure note explaining or just send them?

You are not alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, but sometimes life happens, and parents forget. I have dutifully had both my kids craft special thank you notes post party for nearly 8 years. I am very "in" to the lost art of mailing thank you notes.

However, I dropped the ball with our last party. It's been over six months, so it would be awkard to send thank you's at this point. I know there are some parents' out there judging our family etiquette. I feel horrible.

I like to think that everyone's heart is in the right place, and sometimes we mess up.

Oh, please! How can you forget to thank someone for giving your child a gift for his birthday? You can't. Ill-mannered parents, particularly mothers, are the norm today. I think it was incredible tacky to add the gift certificate part. Not thanking people for any gift, kindness, etc., is simply bad manners. Also, you are wrong about it being too late to say thank you. People spend money for your kid and it is inexcusable not to say thank you and, even worse, not to teach your children to say thank you. Bad role models make for bratty kids and ill-mannered adults. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

if my child went to you and said THANK YOU and gave you a hug why do you still need a piece of paper to read and throw in the trash?

[Anonymous]

22:25 here. Thanks for the feedback. Better late than never! We'll have fun crafting our super-late thank you cards this weekend.

OP is right - we, as parents, model social graces.

Oh wait - some of you may be able to figure out who I am, based on our super late thank yous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, but sometimes life happens, and parents forget. I have dutifully had both my kids craft special thank you notes post party for nearly 8 years. I am very "in" to the lost art of mailing thank you notes.

However, I dropped the ball with our last party. It's been over six months, so it would be awkard to send thank you's at this point. I know there are some parents' out there judging our family etiquette. I feel horrible.

I like to think that everyone's heart is in the right place, and sometimes we mess up.

Oh, please! How can you forget to thank someone for giving your child a gift for his birthday? You can't. Ill-mannered parents, particularly mothers, are the norm today. I think it was incredible tacky to add the gift certificate part. Not thanking people for any gift, kindness, etc., is simply bad manners. Also, you are wrong about it being too late to say thank you. People spend money for your kid and it is inexcusable not to say thank you and, even worse, not to teach your children to say thank you. Bad role models make for bratty kids and ill-mannered adults. Congratulations.

Hmm....how can you forget? Well, my dh works 70 hrs a week and is never home and, I suspect, having an affair. I have 3 young and very busy kids, 2 of whom likely have adhd. I have adhd. I also have a child with a chronic medical condition and mounting debts, and I have a parent w/ Alzheimer's who lives nearby and whose care I am responsible for coordinating, nevermind wanting to spend as much time with as possible before they slip away completely. Sorry I forgot the note. but that how. Thanks, btw, for adding to the stress in my life. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Calm down PP. I used to get upset over not receiving thank you notes, but now realize how difficult daily life can be for some. If your children are young, I think people will understand that you as a parent didn't get to it for one reason or another. If they are old enough to write it, there's no excuse. Hold the toys hostage until they write it.

[Anonymous]

I always send thank you notes-even after being invited to dinner- and I also always have my child send them. However I am never upset when I don't receive one. I am happy to give gifts and nothing detracts from that. I must say though that 90 % of the time I get a thank you note.

[Anonymous]

You people should get over yourselves!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, but sometimes life happens, and parents forget. I have dutifully had both my kids craft special thank you notes post party for nearly 8 years. I am very "in" to the lost art of mailing thank you notes.

However, I dropped the ball with our last party. It's been over six months, so it would be awkard to send thank you's at this point. I know there are some parents' out there judging our family etiquette. I feel horrible.

I like to think that everyone's heart is in the right place, and sometimes we mess up.

Oh, please! How can you forget to thank someone for giving your child a gift for his birthday? You can't. Ill-mannered parents, particularly mothers, are the norm today. I think it was incredible tacky to add the gift certificate part. Not thanking people for any gift, kindness, etc., is simply bad manners. Also, you are wrong about it being too late to say thank you. People spend money for your kid and it is inexcusable not to say thank you and, even worse, not to teach your children to say thank you. Bad role models make for bratty kids and ill-mannered adults. Congratulations.

Hmm....how can you forget? Well, my dh works 70 hrs a week and is never home and, I suspect, having an affair. I have 3 young and very busy kids, 2 of whom likely have adhd. I have adhd. I also have a child with a chronic medical condition and mounting debts, and I have a parent w/ Alzheimer's who lives nearby and whose care I am responsible for coordinating, nevermind wanting to spend as much time with as possible before they slip away completely. Sorry I forgot the note. but that how. Thanks, btw, for adding to the stress in my life. Congratulations.

If its really THAT overly stressful to take 10 secs to write out a quick "thank you" note and mail it, then don't have the party, event, whatever. I'm sure that's way more stressful. Welcome to life. Sorry, but you're not the only one who has SN kids, parents in ailing health, financial issues, etc. you're seriously trotting out all of this and expecting a pity party because you've been asked to write a thank you note for a gift? Now I've heard it all.