44 and pregnant, and getting silent treatment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, screw them! I think it's wonderful that you and your husband are having a baby at 44! We need more loving, committed parents in this world. Age doesn't matter if you raise your child with love.

I'd rather see a 44 year old mother who knows what she's doing than a 24 year old who is barely an adult herself.

All the best to you and your wonderful, lucky little baby!

I had my son at 24. I'm a very loving and committed mother. There is nothing that I haven't done for my son from breastfeeding to organic food. Thanks for lumping me in with all the "barely adult" mothers! Why would you bring the age argument to the TTC boards?

Agree with you "younger" Mom. Not sure why young mom equals= inexperienced dolt to some. Frankly, I think it's insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, screw them! I think it's wonderful that you and your husband are having a baby at 44! We need more loving, committed parents in this world. Age doesn't matter if you raise your child with love.

I'd rather see a 44 year old mother who knows what she's doing than a 24 year old who is barely an adult herself.

All the best to you and your wonderful, lucky little baby!

I had my son at 24. I'm a very loving and committed mother. There is nothing that I haven't done for my son from breastfeeding to organic food. Thanks for lumping me in with all the "barely adult" mothers! Why would you bring the age argument to the TTC boards?

Agree with you "younger" Mom. Not sure why young mom equals= inexperienced dolt to some. Frankly, I think it's insecurity.

I think you "younger" mothers missed the point. Congratulations, OP!

[Anonymous]

I had my first child at 29 and my second at 42 (second marriage). Perhaps it's because I was already a mother, but I had a much easier time with the second child. Granted, my older daughter is a teenager and could help out (a little), but I'm a better mother to my baby daughter because I am older and wiser. It's tiring, but no more tiring than it was the first time around. I think having a child later in life is a blessing and your child will benefit from it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's just your OB practice, OP? I had my first at 39 and am pregnant with #2 at 41, and my age never came up with my midwives, nor did I feel anything but encouragement from them. I was the one to bring up whether to do an amnio, but my midwife said with my numbers, there was no reason unless I really wanted certainty. My husband, on the other hand, is much more self conscious about being an 'old' dad....I'm sure there are people who would judge me, but my friends are all happy and supportive--both those who had kids at 30 and those who, like me, had a slow start out of the gate (I got married at 38).

anyway, none of it matters. Your baby won't judge you critically!

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I hope this never turns into a older mom- younger mom debate. I think we've all seen the doting, attentive younger mom and also the career-obsessed, neglectful older mom too. There are all kinds of mom regardless of age. I definitely don't feel insecure about younger moms having children. One of my closest friends had both her kids by age 28 and she is now 34 and she's a terrific mom.

As far as older women wanting to look younger, sure lots of women want to look younger. Media plays a huge role in this and it's also just a part of our culture. But if I looked my age, that would be fine with me too. But I am just trying to figure out why I get the quiet treatment at times...and maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the fact that those who know my age are uncomfortable with my decision to get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 32 when I first went to my IVF clinic and I thought, "Look at all these older women. I am so glad that I have more time than them." Fast forward five years. I am 37 with no baby and most of those "old" moms probably have kids in kindergarten now. Just remember when you feel the need to judge, those "old" women that you see at your clinic might have been young women at IVF clinics once and they just haven't been the lucky ones.

I never thought about it like this. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

I admit, I stared.

I was in the waiting room and a woman with a full head of silver-white hair was sitting across form me, probably 28 weeks pregnant. I know she probably was mid-40s, maybe even late 30s, but she looked as old as my Mom (63). At that moment I felt so exhausted, I had no idea how she was feeling. Part of me was also doing the math, sadly remembering the Mom in the UK (63) who died of cancer just 18 months after having her twins. My thinking had nothing to do with will she be a good Mom, etc. Just the idea that her life with her children will pass by very quick.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am 38 and *need* to dye my hair every three weeks, when an inch of gray roots come out of nowhere. If God willing I get pregnant, I am going to stop dying my hair andI'm prepared for everyone I see to think I'm like 60. But I don't care! I just want to get pregnant!

[Anonymous]

15:37, hair is not a perfect cue. One of my best friends went gray in her 20s, and she never dyed it as a point of pride.

[Anonymous]

Thats right, hair has little to do with aging. My sister started greying at 28!

[Anonymous]

Oh I know hair isn't a perfect cue, my friend's Mom also was white by 30 and looked 30 just with white hair. This woman was very well aged in addition to completely silver hair. I wanted to think she wasn't more than mid 40s, but wouldn't have been surprised if she was in her 50s. The other day I saw a Mom with very few grays, but also well aged wrt wrinkles. May it be a warning about the sun for all of us! The face gives away age more than hair IMO.

[Anonymous]

Good lord, it's safe to color your hair at home when you are pregnant. There's hardly a website that says that it isn't. That's old news. So being pregnant isn't an excuse to let yourself go anymore than getting married is an excuse to get fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, it's safe to color your hair at home when you are pregnant. There's hardly a website that says that it isn't. That's old news. So being pregnant isn't an excuse to let yourself go anymore than getting married is an excuse to get fat.

If most websites agree, that must make it the Gospel truth.

[Anonymous]

I just turned 43 and am still trying. Could I ask if you did anything special--supplements, acupuncture, was it through IVF or IUI or natural? Just want to hear any details behind the success story!

[Anonymous]

But I am just trying to figure out why I get the quiet treatment at times...and maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the fact that those who know my age are uncomfortable with my decision to get pregnant.

Please consider this is not about you but about the techs. I truly believe that's what it is. Whatever it is: Know that people who don't see you but know your age and PG status are so excited, thrilled and happy for you. I hope my opinion matters more than a tech's.