Do you take your teen's smart phone at night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really think it depends on the kid.

16 year old dd has an I-phone she brought herself from work income. She also uses it regularly at night texting and listening to music, yes, even on school nights. I don't really care. She's responsible, gets up on time everyday, does well in school and takes care of tasks at home.

See, this is my thought. What the heck is wrong with allowing a child to learn how to self regulate? I know my kids have stayed up until midnight or later on the stupid phones, but the next morning when they're dead tired and can't sit through class without dozing off, they've learned their lesson.

They do their homework. They set alarms to get up in the morning, and don't oversleep them.

I really never even thought of taking away their phones.

My mom made me go to bed at 9 pm in high school. I think it is your job to help your kids. You should not be letting them stay up until midnight or later on the stupid phones. That is irresponsible. It sounds pretty much like you have no idea at all when they go to sleep at night. Are you sure they are even at home? My dh used to sneak out of the house many times as a kid. Maybe they are out banging the neighbor for all you know.

I work in college mental health. I've seen more than one college freshman come into my office totally exhausted and unable to regulate their schedule because mom or dad regulated everything for them in high school. Now, left to their own devices, they are a mess. They stay up all night, sleep in and miss class, and have atrocious study habits. I'm not saying it's always wrong for parents to set rules for things like sleep and smart phones, but at some point your kid is going to need to be able to regulate on their own. I think getting some practice doing this before college is very important.

[Anonymous]

+1 to 8:18. I think this applies to a lot of things. teens have to start making decisions by themselves while you are there to play clean up when they make mistakes because you won't be there when they are in college. If they are screwing up, such as staying up too late with electronics so it affects their schoolwork, impose some rules for a period of time and then step back and let them take over. The same approach applies to study habits and what activities they choose and don't choose. Teens will only learn how to exercise good judgment if they have to exercise judgment.

I think that some of the "just say no" parents posting on this thread have younger kids. This often happens on DCUM, parents of younger kids get all worked up when they read about older teens because they can't imagine allowing such things and then they eventually allow such things. At least I hope thats the case. Because over controlling your kids doesn't help them in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really think it depends on the kid.

16 year old dd has an I-phone she brought herself from work income. She also uses it regularly at night texting and listening to music, yes, even on school nights. I don't really care. She's responsible, gets up on time everyday, does well in school and takes care of tasks at home.

See, this is my thought. What the heck is wrong with allowing a child to learn how to self regulate? I know my kids have stayed up until midnight or later on the stupid phones, but the next morning when they're dead tired and can't sit through class without dozing off, they've learned their lesson.

They do their homework. They set alarms to get up in the morning, and don't oversleep them.

I really never even thought of taking away their phones.

My mom made me go to bed at 9 pm in high school. I think it is your job to help your kids. You should not be letting them stay up until midnight or later on the stupid phones. That is irresponsible. It sounds pretty much like you have no idea at all when they go to sleep at night. Are you sure they are even at home? My dh used to sneak out of the house many times as a kid. Maybe they are out banging the neighbor for all you know.

I work in college mental health. I've seen more than one college freshman come into my office totally exhausted and unable to regulate their schedule because mom or dad regulated everything for them in high school. Now, left to their own devices, they are a mess. They stay up all night, sleep in and miss class, and have atrocious study habits. I'm not saying it's always wrong for parents to set rules for things like sleep and smart phones, but at some point your kid is going to need to be able to regulate on their own. I think getting some practice doing this before college is very important.

Well that didn't happen to me. I was able to regulate my own schedule as a college student and as an adult. I think it is important to have some rules in your house. Letting teens stay up till 2 am on a school night seems irresponsible to me.

[Anonymous]

Check your DC/DS Instagram and I'll bet you take their phones at night. You'll be shocked at what's on them!!

[Anonymous]

This is hilarious. As a teen myself, I'm thinking maybe you should stop and think. If you want your teen to be responsible for themselves in the future, you need to trust them now.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 27, 19, 19, and 15. They were never permitted to have phones at night until they were college-aged, after which point it was up to them to handle their media exposure.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it gets parked/plugged in for charging every night at 9pm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe parents buy their kids IPhones. Why is a teen walking around with a $700 phone that will get stolen at school. Idiocy.

Are you serious? When my kids were in our neighborhood (public) school, kids in 4th and 5th grade had iPhones. They may have been hand me downs from a parent or older sibling trading up but they had them nonetheless. Now my kids are in private middle school and most if not all of their classmates have iPad Airs or minis. They have their lesson pans loaded onto the devices and use online education programs that supplement the curriculum. I depend on my kids to text me when they are done with sports practice or study hall. And, God forbid, if there is an emergency, they can get in touch with me or their dad quickly. So, it is a matter of convenience, safety and utility. Welcome to the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There shouldn't be any internet, TV, non-landline phone in a teen's room. When will parents stand up to their kids?

Agree, completely. I just wish people would grow a backbone. You're dragging everyone else down with your permissiveness on this because most kids can't handle it. It creates a materialistic atmosphere for the kids that is really toxic. I wonder if the the super-media kids are mostly at public or private schools--and which ones.... I would want to avoid this type of "all-media-all-the-time" atmosphere. It is so shallow.

Agreed. Be a parent!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe parents buy their kids IPhones. Why is a teen walking around with a $700 phone that will get stolen at school. Idiocy.

Do you have kids? In NWDC all of my child's friends have had iPhones or the samsung version since around 12 or 13 yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There shouldn't be any internet, TV, non-landline phone in a teen's room. When will parents stand up to their kids?

Thank you, Laura Ingalls Wilder.

[Anonymous]

Its so weird to me that all these posters consider those of us who give our kids electronics and let them have it in their rooms are doing it because we have no backbone, no ability to say no, we are "giving in"...like we really, really want to say no deep inside, but we say yes anyway.

personally I have 3 teenagers, all of whom have every electronic under the sun. Early on in their iPhone texting days, they were stupid and stayed up late texting and they were exhausted at school the next day, and at sports practice that night. They learned pretty darn fast.

I don't care what electronics they have as long as they follow the basic rules we outline about them in our house. I don't care whether they are in their rooms at night. (Geez I mean when I was a teenager we spent all our time in our rooms, too...on our land lines, talking on party lines and 3-way calls. Its hardly like we were hanging with the 'rents playing monopoly in the family room as teenagers. They are teenagers...they don't want to hang with us. And I don't care...as long as they come to dinner, come out on family trips and vacations, do well at school, stay active physically, and are healthy and happy. They are growing independent people...and I have zero desire to micro-manage them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There shouldn't be any internet, TV, non-landline phone in a teen's room. When will parents stand up to their kids?

Agree, completely. I just wish people would grow a backbone. You're dragging everyone else down with your permissiveness on this because most kids can't handle it. It creates a materialistic atmosphere for the kids that is really toxic. I wonder if the the super-media kids are mostly at public or private schools--and which ones.... I would want to avoid this type of "all-media-all-the-time" atmosphere. It is so shallow.

Can you generalize more? What you say is meaningless and empty.

We live in a very small house. My kid does his homework on the computer, and has internet in there, too (wireless). He is a good kid and deserves quiet -- in fact, I demand he do his homework where it is quiet We are FAR from permissive. We monitor closely, and because there are no signs of abuse, he has far more freedom than many kids. He knows that the closed door thing is a privlege. Not every child wants to be texting every minute. Not every child wants to play games all the time.

I won't pass judgement on the OP, since there clearly is an issue, and I can't say I would rule out taking the phone away if I were in her position. However, these crazy posters.

Please just shut up.

[Anonymous]

Computer and phone with parents at night. If they can't do it, then the lose the technology. Sleep is critically important at this stage.

[Anonymous]

I love the generalizations in these threads. It really depends on the kids. Mine are 14 and 16, both have iPhones, we have wireless internet in the house. Both kids charge their phones in their rooms. My son has a gf and I'm sure he is up late texting and/or talking to her. But you know what, both kids have a 4.0 gpa, my son is up at 5:30 to workout at the school gym, is a 3 sport letter winner, and my daughter does competetive gymnastics 3 nights a week, plus saturdays. Both kids are (generally) very responsible and respectful kids to us, coaches, teachers, and other parents.

My kids chose to participate in all the extracurriculars and as long as the grades stay high, they can manage their sleep and schedules. FWIW, their bedtime is between 9 and 10pm, weekends a little later.

And to the PP who said iPhones are $700- you're clueless. We got the 5c for a PENNY and got a data plan for our family.

By this point in our lives, phone in the room is low on the totem pole of parental concerns.