Do you take your teen's smart phone at night?

[Anonymous]

15 1/2 means that if they aren't old enough to self-regulate, you've been doing a piss-poor job of parenting and also that you basically don't have a chance.

Yes, let them make mistakes and learn from them. At least they're underage, still----

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I finally bought 15 yo DS an i-phone. I would like him to continue the habit we have been trying to instill since birth of reading at bedtime, but he now likes to keep his phone next to his bedside. This summer I have found him up texting or participating in social forums through apps or the internet as late as 2 am. I have tried insisting he put the phone in my room after 10 pm and would like to have this rule during the school year, because I think the temptation is just too great to answer every text, check facebook, etc., and completely lose track of time at night. But he objects because he says this is babyish, and also that all his music is on his i-phone, and listening to music helps him sleep. Should I buy another i-pod for music and enforce the no phone at bedtime rule, or is he too old for that? Is there a way to disable the phone after a certain hour, the way you can with some computers? Or is 15 1/2 old enough to make his own mistakes? TIA for any suggestions.

We keep a docking/charging station off the kitchen and the teens are supposed to put their phones there by 9 during the school year. One of them didn't remember the rule so well. So for her I needed to add a disabling parental control from Verizon for $4.99 per month. She couldn't send/receive texts or calls (except to/from "safe" numbers that I controlled) from 9pm until 7:30 am during the week and 11 on the weekends. It's been working great.

I didn't know I could disable her computer after a certain hour. How does that work?

:O wow that is really f**in harsh on your kids ! what age are they ?

[Anonymous]

My suggestion is no smart phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15 1/2 means that if they aren't old enough to self-regulate, you've been doing a piss-poor job of parenting and also that you basically don't have a chance.

Yes, let them make mistakes and learn from them. At least they're underage, still----

Prefrontal cortex development isn't complete until the nid-twenties. Until then, parents need to be the prefrontal cortex slowly backing off as it develops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There shouldn't be any internet, TV, non-landline phone in a teen's room. When will parents stand up to their kids?

Agree, completely. I just wish people would grow a backbone. You're dragging everyone else down with your permissiveness on this because most kids can't handle it. It creates a materialistic atmosphere for the kids that is really toxic. I wonder if the the super-media kids are mostly at public or private schools--and which ones.... I would want to avoid this type of "all-media-all-the-time" atmosphere. It is so shallow.

There really is no reason to judge other parents who do things differently. Our approach has been that our teen DD needs to learn self-control, she needs to internalize the discipline of turning everything off at night. And she does. She is a straight A student with a very balanced life. If there was an actual problem with devices in her room at night, sure we would take them away. But our approach of teaching her good judgment by letting her actually exercise it is perfectly valid. It may not be your approach, which is fine. But you should be confident enough in the approach you've chosen not to feel threatened by mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 1/2 means that if they aren't old enough to self-regulate, you've been doing a piss-poor job of parenting and also that you basically don't have a chance.

Yes, let them make mistakes and learn from them. At least they're underage, still----

Prefrontal cortex development isn't complete until the nid-twenties. Until then, parents need to be the prefrontal cortex slowly backing off as it develops.

Yes, and kids with certain learning disabilities can take longer. So one of my kids is extremely responsible and the other needs a little support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:.

We keep a docking/charging station off the kitchen and the teens are supposed to put their phones there by 9 during the school year. One of them didn't remember the rule so well. So for her I needed to add a disabling parental control from Verizon for $4.99 per month. She couldn't send/receive texts or calls (except to/from "safe" numbers that I controlled) from 9pm until 7:30 am during the week and 11 on the weekends. It's been working great.

I didn't know I could disable her computer after a certain hour. How does that work?

?

What would be the point of allowing text messaging at 7:30 am when they are already in school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe parents buy their kids IPhones. Why is a teen walking around with a $700 phone that will get stolen at school. Idiocy.

Who are you telling? My 10 year old nephew has one. Gah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teens have the iPhone 3G, which was $50. Who spends $700 on a phone for a teen? We have limited data plans. What's the fuss?

Agree. The PP is clearly clueless about how inexpensive iPhones are now. My 11 year old has an iphone. I think we paid $50 for it and he's had it for over two years.

My other kids have iPhones as well. We do make them dock them on the kitchen counter at 10pm during the school year. My 11 year old has to put his up at 9.

We've never had a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I finally bought 15 yo DS an i-phone. I would like him to continue the habit we have been trying to instill since birth of reading at bedtime, but he now likes to keep his phone next to his bedside. This summer I have found him up texting or participating in social forums through apps or the internet as late as 2 am. I have tried insisting he put the phone in my room after 10 pm and would like to have this rule during the school year, because I think the temptation is just too great to answer every text, check facebook, etc., and completely lose track of time at night. But he objects because he says this is babyish, and also that all his music is on his i-phone, and listening to music helps him sleep. Should I buy another i-pod for music and enforce the no phone at bedtime rule, or is he too old for that? Is there a way to disable the phone after a certain hour, the way you can with some computers? Or is 15 1/2 old enough to make his own mistakes? TIA for any suggestions.

We keep a docking/charging station off the kitchen and the teens are supposed to put their phones there by 9 during the school year. One of them didn't remember the rule so well. So for her I needed to add a disabling parental control from Verizon for $4.99 per month. She couldn't send/receive texts or calls (except to/from "safe" numbers that I controlled) from 9pm until 7:30 am during the week and 11 on the weekends. It's been working great.

I didn't know I could disable her computer after a certain hour. How does that work?

:O wow that is really f**in harsh on your kids ! what age are they ?

NP here. I don't think that sounds harsh, I think it sounds smart.

--Parent of a teen.

[Anonymous]

No. Why would I? They are good kids and know homework/extracurriculars come first. If we had issues, sure, but it never even occurred to me to have them check in their phones at night.

[Anonymous]

15yo DS has a phone, not a smart phone (why does any teen need so much Internet access?). On school nights it is plugged into an outlet in our bedroom at 9PM. On weekends and during the summer, it is plugged in whenever DH and I go to bed.

[Anonymous]

13-year old DS hands over his iphone at 9:00 on school nights and when we go to bed on weekends/summer.

Nearly 15 year old DS will also turn over his phone during the school year but we just started letting him keep it in his room at night when school is out.

Both boys went about 7 weeks without electronics this summer (camp and international travel). It was good for them to have a break!

[Anonymous]

Mine doesn't have a phone yet, but it is only a matter of time. When she does have a phone, no matter how smart or dumb it is, it will be checked into the kitchen counter each night. There is nothing that needs to be said or sent overnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine doesn't have a phone yet, but it is only a matter of time. When she does have a phone, no matter how smart or dumb it is, it will be checked into the kitchen counter each night. There is nothing that needs to be said or sent overnight.

If you have it checked into the kitchen counter, are you sure it stays there? I am thinking of having it charging in our room instead of the kitchen. I could see some creeping downstairs going on.