Guys, if your wife clearly married you for your money, are you okay with it?

[Anonymous]

Why should a man with money get a young hot chick? He should get a normal women his own age. I feel sorry when young women married older men. My dad was 17 years older than my mom -- gross! I also feel sorry when I see a young girl with her ugly older dad's looks...there is no free lunch! The young hot chicks should think about that before mating with an old oaf.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is 22 yrs my junior. We genuinely enjoy each other's company, is it love, no not in the traditional sense. She loves being Sadie married lady, and the status of being Mrs. Surgeon (liver & transplant). I love every physical attribute, her figure her eyes and the adoring way she acts towards me. I know I married her out of lust and have no reason to think she did any different, just not ludting after the same thing. We both accommodate each others desires, wants and needs quite happily , hence we're both quite fore filled by our relationship. No kids and the prenup ( 8yrs) had 2 yrs to go

Sounds good to me. Marriage can take many forms and if you're both happy who can hold it against you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

+1

Men know full-well that women largely evaluate them by their socioeconomic status. This is totally not news to men.

If you're a rich guy in your fifties, you can probably date women who are better-looking and/or younger than you. That's just life. That doesn't mean that the rich guy thinks he has a big ego. It's not about entitlement. He's not delusional. He's just doing it because he can. Would you rather be dating someone who you find attractive, or unattractive? Why should he do otherwise, if he has the money and lifestyle to pull it off?

[Anonymous]

I think women are wired to be repulsed by someone being financially dependent on them (other than their children) so they find it hard to understand why a guy can stand being with someone who is much younger, and financially dependent -- when they could have a professional woman who makes a lot of money, etc.

But from a man's perspective, it's totally normal to be a provider to a (often younger) woman (or, I suppose man for those who swing that way). Men like providing for their SO. That's what they are wired to do. I think this is a big reason husbands tend to be older than wives, especially for second marriages. Older people tend to have more money, so it just works out that way.

[Anonymous]

For most of my 30s I was in a LTR with a man who was 50 when we started dating. (I was 31.) He did not take great care himself and was balding. I actually have modeled, though it is not what I do now. He also had a very expensive car. So, if you saw us out together, you might make the assumptions OP has made.

In truth, I made twice what he made and his only financial asset was the car, which he had scrimped for years to pay for. (Childhood dream.) He was a gifted music teacher and amazing musician. He was also incredibly intelligent and capable of having a conversation about global affairs, politics, books, etc. Unlike the men my age, he was interested in the world, not just how wasted he got the prior weekend or the latest sports scores.

Just because a woman is attractive doesn't mean she's shallow. And just because a man isn't classically handsome or young doesn't mean the only thing he has to offer is money. You might want to check some of that ageism and sexism, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were walking around the mall today and saw another couple that was (putting it politely) mismatched. She was mid-to-late 30s, well dressed and very attractive. She was no super model but definitely someone that most guys would find hot. He was mid-to-late 50s, also well dress but far from attractive. Bald, slightly overweight, etc. They had three children with them and while two of them took after the mother the youngest daughter had a bit of a Rumor Willis thing going on (Bruce Willis face on Demi Moore's head).

Based on the age difference, the fact that they were all very well dressed and the apparent age difference between the couple, I can only assume that she married him for his money. Sure, it's possible that they were really in love, but I seriously have my doubts.

From other posts on this topic, I think I have a decent understanding of the woman's perspective, but I've always wanted to know from the guy's perspective: What's it like to be married to a gold digger? Are you okay with it? Did you marry your wife for anything besides her looks? Did you have a pre-nup buttoned up and ready to go? Is this your second marriage and you just figured, "What the hell, if I have to be nagged all the time it might as well be by a hottie?"

Seriously, what's the deal?

Here's the deal: she's not only more attractive, but also more intelligent, well-travelled, funny and drama-free than you are.

The question then becomes, why does your husband stay married?

Either for the kids, or because he has no alternative, or probably a mix of both.

Does that help understand the guy perspective?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think women are wired to be repulsed by someone being financially dependent on them (other than their children) so they find it hard to understand why a guy can stand being with someone who is much younger, and financially dependent -- when they could have a professional woman who makes a lot of money, etc.

But from a man's perspective, it's totally normal to be a provider to a (often younger) woman (or, I suppose man for those who swing that way). Men like providing for their SO. That's what they are wired to do. I think this is a big reason husbands tend to be older than wives, especially for second marriages. Older people tend to have more money, so it just works out that way.

How do you account for so many dead beat parents? Are they wired differently?

[Anonymous]

DH's gorgeous sister clearly married for money and did not seek to hide it from anyone. I don't know how she had sex with him, he was pretty hideous and stunningly dull. She became a really boring SAHM. He dumped her about 8 years later for his younger co-worker "soul mate".

SIL had to get a job -GASP- after the divorce. Plan totally back fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women are wired to be repulsed by someone being financially dependent on them (other than their children) so they find it hard to understand why a guy can stand being with someone who is much younger, and financially dependent -- when they could have a professional woman who makes a lot of money, etc.

But from a man's perspective, it's totally normal to be a provider to a (often younger) woman (or, I suppose man for those who swing that way). Men like providing for their SO. That's what they are wired to do. I think this is a big reason husbands tend to be older than wives, especially for second marriages. Older people tend to have more money, so it just works out that way.

How do you account for so many dead beat parents? Are they wired differently?

That's a fair question.

Although many of those "deadbeat dads" are actual deadbeats, some are people who truly got screwed in a divorce settlement, or are unemployed, and are honestly struggling financially.

I suspect that most "real" deadbeats are addicts, or have serious personality disorders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women are wired to be repulsed by someone being financially dependent on them (other than their children) so they find it hard to understand why a guy can stand being with someone who is much younger, and financially dependent -- when they could have a professional woman who makes a lot of money, etc.

But from a man's perspective, it's totally normal to be a provider to a (often younger) woman (or, I suppose man for those who swing that way). Men like providing for their SO. That's what they are wired to do. I think this is a big reason husbands tend to be older than wives, especially for second marriages. Older people tend to have more money, so it just works out that way.

How do you account for so many dead beat parents? Are they wired differently?

That's a fair question.

Although many of those "deadbeat dads" are actual deadbeats, some are people who truly got screwed in a divorce settlement, or are unemployed, and are honestly struggling financially.

I suspect that most "real" deadbeats are addicts, or have serious personality disorders.

PP here again. Another possibility is the whole "dad" vs "cad" dynamic. Some men are are "dads" who want to provide, while others are "cads" who just want to spread their seed as far and wide as possible, with as minimal individual investment as they can get away with.

Maybe it's a clever evolutionary strategy in disguise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women are wired to be repulsed by someone being financially dependent on them (other than their children) so they find it hard to understand why a guy can stand being with someone who is much younger, and financially dependent -- when they could have a professional woman who makes a lot of money, etc.

But from a man's perspective, it's totally normal to be a provider to a (often younger) woman (or, I suppose man for those who swing that way). Men like providing for their SO. That's what they are wired to do. I think this is a big reason husbands tend to be older than wives, especially for second marriages. Older people tend to have more money, so it just works out that way.

How do you account for so many dead beat parents? Are they wired differently?

That's a fair question.

Although many of those "deadbeat dads" are actual deadbeats, some are people who truly got screwed in a divorce settlement, or are unemployed, and are honestly struggling financially.

I suspect that most "real" deadbeats are addicts, or have serious personality disorders.

Okay, what about the deadbeat parents of kids out of wedlock? Are they wired differently?

[Anonymous]

I would never trade off my youth for money. I just can't imagine looking at wrinkled booty when he gets up to go to the bathroom after sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never trade off my youth for money. I just can't imagine looking at wrinkled booty when he gets up to go to the bathroom after sex.

And simply put, older guys have this God complex that now they know how to have sex better than younger years. Guess what? They don't.
All their infinite wisdom and shriveled meat and veg can't bring me to take the $$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never trade off my youth for money. I just can't imagine looking at wrinkled booty when he gets up to go to the bathroom after sex.

I would never trade my youth and SOUL for money. Shudder. Don't these ladies have any self respect?