Guys, if your wife clearly married you for your money, are you okay with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can judge the couple at the mall. Do you know them? Do you know the type of man she prefers to date? What her emotional needs are? What he's like? The mental wrestling she did about his age? You have a snapshot of them that you've filtered through your own emotional baggage and you've decided that she married him for his money. What if he's in fact broke, and maybe she's his daughter?

BTW, I have dinner about once a month with my own 78 year old father, and I can't tell you the number of times a waiter or some other person has "decided" I am his wife or girlfriend. Do you always assume that two people together are a couple?

I made a reasonable assumption based on the fact that their kids were with them and referred to each as "Mommy" and "Daddy." As for the other part...that was part of my question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

My DH must have missed that memo as I make 3x what he does.

It works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

My DH must have missed that memo as I make 3x what he does.

It works for us.

There mere fact that you would calculate a ratio only shows that you are excited by the novelty of your situation. I would never to that to dw for fear of making her feel bad -- not even in my head as I write this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were walking around the mall today and saw another couple that was (putting it politely) mismatched. She was mid-to-late 30s, well dressed and very attractive. She was no super model but definitely someone that most guys would find hot. He was mid-to-late 50s, also well dress but far from attractive. Bald, slightly overweight, etc. They had three children with them and while two of them took after the mother the youngest daughter had a bit of a Rumor Willis thing going on (Bruce Willis face on Demi Moore's head).

Based on the age difference, the fact that they were all very well dressed and the apparent age difference between the couple, I can only assume that she married him for his money. Sure, it's possible that they were really in love, but I seriously have my doubts.

From other posts on this topic, I think I have a decent understanding of the woman's perspective, but I've always wanted to know from the guy's perspective: What's it like to be married to a gold digger? Are you okay with it? Did you marry your wife for anything besides her looks? Did you have a pre-nup buttoned up and ready to go? Is this your second marriage and you just figured, "What the hell, if I have to be nagged all the time it might as well be by a hottie?"

Seriously, what's the deal?

I can say something real about this. I had a relationship with a married woman and we had a baby. At some point she left me only because her status with her husband and because she did not want to start everything with me. Now she is living with her husband, my baby and I can't do nothing about it. He knows everything and he accepted it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

My DH must have missed that memo as I make 3x what he does.

It works for us.

Us too. There are other ways to support a spouse besides financially.

[Anonymous]

One of the things women are wired for is having and protecting their children. A financially well-off, mentally stable older man may be just the ticket for some women. Just because he married her for looks and she married for money doesn't mean they can't be as dedicated to one another as some other kind of couple. Marriage is an emotional, sexual, physical, and financial arrangement between two people. You still have to make it work regardless of ages or how you fell in love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

My DH must have missed that memo as I make 3x what he does.

It works for us.

There mere fact that you would calculate a ratio only shows that you are excited by the novelty of your situation. I would never to that to dw for fear of making her feel bad -- not even in my head as I write this post.

Not excited, nothing to be excited about. Just stating the facts. It's not hard to make that calculation for purposes of this discussion, but it's not like I comment to DH all the time that I make 3x what he does. (Not that he would feel bad if I did; his ego is not tied to his income.)

Moreover, our situation is not all that novel, at least not in this area, which is heavily populated by high-earning professional women.

[Anonymous]

I bet some rich men get off on having a beautiful wife as a new Lexus model, something of a status symbol, with a prenup with the purchase price..... If a dude has enough money what does he care about a few hundred thousand to a pretty, for purchase chick? I've seen neighbors with mail order brides, etc., of nasty men who've married good looking women with their money...... And I don't judge it if they are upfront about what they are getting out of the bargain..... Not all marriage is for love....Not all marriages that were entered into with participants in love stay together anyway with the divorce rate.....So who am I to judge where people married for reasons other than love?

[Anonymous]

In my grandmothers day you needed to at least marry your equal, maybe wealthier, but not below.
My mother was from a single parent family, but her father had been an engineer before he died, and so it was important to her mother and the rest of the family that she marry at least someone with a degree in something they considered 'decent', so she married an engineer.
It was a different time. Men were expected to provide for their families. The women they married had to have the right background, contacts and 'inheritance'/dowry
In some ways they were more successful than what people are today. Divorces were just rare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

My DH must have missed that memo as I make 3x what he does.

It works for us.

you weren't attractive enough to get a high earning guy, huh

[Anonymous]

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/13/world/europe/13iht-letter13.html?pagewanted=all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were walking around the mall today and saw another couple that was (putting it politely) mismatched. She was mid-to-late 30s, well dressed and very attractive. She was no super model but definitely someone that most guys would find hot. He was mid-to-late 50s, also well dress but far from attractive. Bald, slightly overweight, etc. They had three children with them and while two of them took after the mother the youngest daughter had a bit of a Rumor Willis thing going on (Bruce Willis face on Demi Moore's head).

Based on the age difference, the fact that they were all very well dressed and the apparent age difference between the couple, I can only assume that she married him for his money. Sure, it's possible that they were really in love, but I seriously have my doubts.

From other posts on this topic, I think I have a decent understanding of the woman's perspective, but I've always wanted to know from the guy's perspective: What's it like to be married to a gold digger? Are you okay with it? Did you marry your wife for anything besides her looks? Did you have a pre-nup buttoned up and ready to go? Is this your second marriage and you just figured, "What the hell, if I have to be nagged all the time it might as well be by a hottie?"

Seriously, what's the deal?

Judge much?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be so quick to judge others, OP. You just never know. If the woman was in her late 30's, she could have easily met him when she was in her 20's, he is his 30's or early 40's when he looked much younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/13/world/europe/13iht-letter13.html?pagewanted=all

Thanks. A quick and interesting read.

[ThatSmileyFaceGuy]

Anonymous wrote:
What is a cord?

128 cubic feet of wood. Split. Stacked. and ready for burning.