Anyone else burnt out with DC lifestyle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We moved here from a smaller city a few years ago. DH has the same exact job, but his hours have increased quite a bit and his commute is longer even though we're the exact same distance from his job. We are looking forward to eventually moving back to a smaller city so we can get back to our old quality of life. DC isn't for everyone. People have a right to feel however they feel. Every city has a culture, and I think it's fair to say that (in general) DC'ites tend to focus on education, money, and power. If that's not your "tifecta," some of the day-to-day annoyances of living here might affect you more than others. "

But isn't your DH making a lot more money here? Are you a SAHM?

Agree that everyone has a right to feel how they feel and express that. I don't agree with the bolded part, because you are implying that those of us without money or power (me!) are somehow left out and can't be as happy. That's not my focus, or the focus of my family, so I don't think it's fair that you sweep the whole region with this brush. DH and I earn a good living (but are by no means rich) doing jobs we love that are not focused on money or power. I have a graduate degree in my field, he has a college degree. We have a great balance with our family and work, and live in a small house in a great neighborhood fairly close in. We don't have bad commutes, our neighborhood is walkable, and I love not having to drive to work (I take metro). Many, many areas of the country don't let you do that.

Look, I'm not trying to convince anyone that the DC area is great or that you are happy and you just don't know it. But it is offensive to say some of those things about where I live and raise my family. We are not about money and power and are doing just fine.

That said, I would absolutely not like being a SAHM here. There are trade offs in this area for sure, and one big motivator to stay here is great and interesting job opportunities that pay you a good living wage. So if I didn't have that I don't think I'd be as happy, I would want to move. But I don't think I'd bash the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've come to think that a lot of the "DC Sucks" people are folks that have chosen to participate in all the negative aspects of DC culture. I certainly acknowledge they are there: the focus on work, the competitiveness, the sense of superiority stemming from professional accomplishment, money and/or education - BUT - it is avoidable if you seek to steer clear of it. If you stop just following the crowd to the "best" neighborhoods, the "best" schools, the "best" stores, the "best" activities, you might find this alternate universe of near-normalcy that exists in this area. Will this city ever be as easy as somewhere like Minneapolis? Probably not. But it doesn't have to be the sentence to a miserable existence that some people seem to feel it is. OP, what do you and DH do, where do you live, and what kind of things are you doing with your kids that have you so "burnt out with the DC lifestyle"? If you can't leave the DC area altogether, maybe there are tweaks you can make to your lifestyle here that will make you happier.

Totally agree - I just posted about not having a lot of "money" and "power" and still being happy here. It does help to have a certain amount of money here, because it's expensive, but it helps not to have that much money that you are not wrapped up in this competition. I really am blissfully unaware of so much of this! I know a few names of the big and expensive private schools, but we can't afford them and aren't looking at them so problem solved, don't have to deal with that nonsense. Same with everything else. It's just not on my radar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope! Love our life. Our neighborhood is 100% walkable to all amenities. I WAH full-time and DH has a 5 min Metro commute.

Our neighborhood is filled with tons of kids and great parents. Impromptu family happy hours almost every weekend, lots of local neighborhood events, etc. We have the city vibe with great public schools...and the free museums within a stone's throw.

Parents often go in on a sitter and walk to the local bars and restaurants at least once a week.

Details please! Where do you live?

This sounds like Capitol Hill except the part about the great public schools.

It probably is Capitol Hill and there ARE great public schools.

It's actually Lyon Village in Clarendon- but would love Capitol Hill too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We moved here from a smaller city a few years ago. DH has the same exact job, but his hours have increased quite a bit and his commute is longer even though we're the exact same distance from his job. We are looking forward to eventually moving back to a smaller city so we can get back to our old quality of life. DC isn't for everyone. People have a right to feel however they feel. Every city has a culture, and I think it's fair to say that (in general) DC'ites tend to focus on education, money, and power. If that's not your "tifecta," some of the day-to-day annoyances of living here might affect you more than others. "

But isn't your DH making a lot more money here? Are you a SAHM?

I am not a SAHM, and my DH did not get a raise to move here (maybe a tiny COLA). He works for the gov't and was transferred here, though we will have the opportunity to transfer again soon. I don't hate it, but I also think some places live better (for me, anyway). No matter how much one might like it here, there are indisputable drawbacks to the region: high cost of living, traffic, etc. We've done our best to minimize them--we live in a small place close-in--and it's not too bad. But I do feel claustrophobic at times--mostly on the weekends as others have pointed out. And I did not feel this way before we moved here, which is how I know that I'm not simply a "malcontent." Also, I do realize there are many people here who are laid-back and not uber-competitive, power-hungry, greed-mongers (we've made many good friends here). However, I think because so many people come here for better work opportunities, you find more "live to work" people than you might in other areas.

I guess the bottom line is: in moving here, our free time went down, our commute times went up, our house got smaller, and our mortgage got bigger. And sometimes I b*tch about it.

[Anonymous]

I acted on the impulse to seek out a saner life about 10 years ago. We moved to one of the cities that's always on the "top 10 places to live in the USA." And it really was wonderful, slower paced, more time as a family, nicer close-in home, time to pursue hobbies, impromptu get-togethers with friends during the week. We had a wonderful quality of life.

But after a few years of it, I got bored. I missed DC's location on the East Coast. I missed the broader range of educational opportunities for the kids. I even missed the stress (I'm an adrenalin and news junkie).

So, we're back. And I'm exhausted all the time. But I'm trying to do as the PP said, and just make the right lifestyle choices to make our lives work here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP who claims to live in utopia is full of crap. People who think this place is the be all and end all is full of crap. They don't call it spin city for nothing! It is ironic to me that OP and most other posters feel this place is isolating and can be depressing, and PPs react with "it must be you". WTF? Way to be supportive, a**holes! And you actually claim to wonder what OP is talking about? Really? Really?

You should try yoga.

Or stamp collecting, but I don't recommend you collect stamps showing DC sites like the Capitol.

[Anonymous]

The funny part is those who irrationally claim to like it here 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

All big cities have horrible commutes (Rome, Italy for example) and some of these big cities also have great sites to enjoy for years and years (Rome, Italy for example) and DC is one of these cities. I am a museum junkie and can't get enough of the great museums. I have gone to some of them more than 50 times and I still don't get bored. If you love Picasso as I do, the National Gallery has several of his most important works. If you love space science and aeronautics, whatever you don't find at Air and Space downtown you will most likely come across at the Dulles location.....you get the picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, you're absolutely right. Skip the crowded festivals and pumpkin patches, and keep your kids enrolled in one activity at a time. Just slow it down!

So, you're saying its fine as long as you don't try to do anything. I would like to live somewhere where I can participate in community activities without throngs of crowds at every turn. And the competition for "slots' for everything: camp signups that start in December? Give me a break! Like I said, I'm sure some of the world's largest cities: NY, London, Paris, Tokyo, etc have similar issues. Thing is, DC is not at that level. Its just DC. A medium to large city but with small city logistics and bad local government but people who feel like they have more importance than they really do. Creates quite a problem.

[Anonymous]

17:42 - and your point is? All major cities have outstanding museums. So? FYI, D.C. is not nearly as old as Europe. No comparison.


18:02 - you got it.

Ingrates include those who fail to appreciate others' points of views, FWIW. Just because one does not like it here as much as you (who likely have/had less choices) doesn't make them (convenient label here).

[Anonymous]

* I went to the Kennedy Center's open house thing back a few years ago. It's a day in Sept I believe where they open the place up on a Saturday and have all sorts of things going on. That was an absolute zoo. It was like being at a rock concert. Literally could not move anywhere in the building. Too many people.

* Costco. Absolute chaos on the weekends.

* Very, very few people retire here. That speaks volumes for the quality of life. In many other cities, people may have a second home, but they retire where they spent their working years.

* Life moves fast here. Work, commute, work some more. I feel like if I don't get out of here I'm going to suddenly realize that I'm 60 yo and what just happened. Where did the time go?

* Summers. Forget trying to go out of town. 95, 66, are jammed. Meanwhile you are sitting under this impressive heat and never ending sunshine. Last summer was the absolute worst. Sitting inside the AC all summer because it was just intolerable doing anything outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:* I went to the Kennedy Center's open house thing back a few years ago. It's a day in Sept I believe where they open the place up on a Saturday and have all sorts of things going on. That was an absolute zoo. It was like being at a rock concert. Literally could not move anywhere in the building. Too many people.

* Costco. Absolute chaos on the weekends.

* Very, very few people retire here. That speaks volumes for the quality of life. In many other cities, people may have a second home, but they retire where they spent their working years.

* Life moves fast here. Work, commute, work some more. I feel like if I don't get out of here I'm going to suddenly realize that I'm 60 yo and what just happened. Where did the time go?

* Summers. Forget trying to go out of town. 95, 66, are jammed. Meanwhile you are sitting under this impressive heat and never ending sunshine. Last summer was the absolute worst. Sitting inside the AC all summer because it was just intolerable doing anything outside.

Why would I care if people retire here? People retire in Florida, which would be my least favorite place to move. Awful schools there too, and why shouldn't they be, people retire there, not raise kids.

I'm here for the jobs - we have awesome jobs here. I don't know why people discount job opps, or act like it's a bad thing that people enjoy their jobs. I worked hard and trained hard and I do something that I love. It is not my life, but it is a big part of my life, it's how I spend my day, so I want it to mean something and I want to enjoy it. I don't want to live in Portland so I can work in a coffee shop and a bookstore and join an adult kick ball league. I want a career, and I have one, with a good commute and a good amount of flexibility, same with DH.

I find it odd that so many people are trying so hard to convince others they don't like it here. We've made a great life for ourselves. It's not perfect but life is not perfect anywhere. I can totally understand why it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, but not sure why people resent that other people actually like it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* I went to the Kennedy Center's open house thing back a few years ago. It's a day in Sept I believe where they open the place up on a Saturday and have all sorts of things going on. That was an absolute zoo. It was like being at a rock concert. Literally could not move anywhere in the building. Too many people.

* Costco. Absolute chaos on the weekends.

* Very, very few people retire here. That speaks volumes for the quality of life. In many other cities, people may have a second home, but they retire where they spent their working years.* Life moves fast here. Work, commute, work some more. I feel like if I don't get out of here I'm going to suddenly realize that I'm 60 yo and what just happened. Where did the time go?

* Summers. Forget trying to go out of town. 95, 66, are jammed. Meanwhile you are sitting under this impressive heat and never ending sunshine. Last summer was the absolute worst. Sitting inside the AC all summer because it was just intolerable doing anything outside.

Why would I care if people retire here? People retire in Florida, which would be my least favorite place to move. Awful schools there too, and why shouldn't they be, people retire there, not raise kids.

I'm here for the jobs - we have awesome jobs here. I don't know why people discount job opps, or act like it's a bad thing that people enjoy their jobs. I worked hard and trained hard and I do something that I love. It is not my life, but it is a big part of my life, it's how I spend my day, so I want it to mean something and I want to enjoy it. I don't want to live in Portland so I can work in a coffee shop and a bookstore and join an adult kick ball league. I want a career, and I have one, with a good commute and a good amount of flexibility, same with DH.

I find it odd that so many people are trying so hard to convince others they don't like it here. We've made a great life for ourselves. It's not perfect but life is not perfect anywhere. I can totally understand why it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, but not sure why people resent that other people actually like it here.

I agree. FWIW, in Georgetown the entire two blocks around us were retirees. Happy, vibrant rerirees. My parents retired here---as did the majority of their friends. Florida is hot, full of white trash, old people and horrible health care. If you want to die fast--go move to an area without mixed generations...go rot with the other old geezers. The fountain of youth is staying around life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I acted on the impulse to seek out a saner life about 10 years ago. We moved to one of the cities that's always on the "top 10 places to live in the USA." And it really was wonderful, slower paced, more time as a family, nicer close-in home, time to pursue hobbies, impromptu get-togethers with friends during the week. We had a wonderful quality of life.

But after a few years of it, I got bored. I missed DC's location on the East Coast. I missed the broader range of educational opportunities for the kids. I even missed the stress (I'm an adrenalin and news junkie).

So, we're back. And I'm exhausted all the time. But I'm trying to do as the PP said, and just make the right lifestyle choices to make our lives work here.

Where did you move to? What do you mean by "broader range of educational options"? Private schools? And isn't it easier to create your own stress somewhere else than to have to find ways to avoid it? Surely you could have taken on more roles in your life? PTA President? Board of Ed? Charity work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:* I went to the Kennedy Center's open house thing back a few years ago. It's a day in Sept I believe where they open the place up on a Saturday and have all sorts of things going on. That was an absolute zoo. It was like being at a rock concert. Literally could not move anywhere in the building. Too many people.

* Costco. Absolute chaos on the weekends.

* Very, very few people retire here. That speaks volumes for the quality of life. In many other cities, people may have a second home, but they retire where they spent their working years.

* Life moves fast here. Work, commute, work some more. I feel like if I don't get out of here I'm going to suddenly realize that I'm 60 yo and what just happened. Where did the time go?

* Summers. Forget trying to go out of town. 95, 66, are jammed. Meanwhile you are sitting under this impressive heat and never ending sunshine. Last summer was the absolute worst. Sitting inside the AC all summer because it was just intolerable doing anything outside.

Absolutely everything and anything fun and interesting for the public happens in May and September with little bit of bleed into October. That's part of the problem. Nobody has open houses, festivals, or events at any other time of the year.