Playdate frequency in private schools

[Anonymous]

I've also hosted aftercare kids at my house. The parents have picked the kids up at my house. Also agree that there is usually a group of kids (moms) that do playdates constantly with each other. It's usually driven by 1 or 2 moms who are VERY social and want the same for their kids (3-4 playdates per week) It sort of stresses me out because I don't have the time or energy for that kind of schedule but in school the kids talk about playdates constantly and ask about them constantly at home. Sort of by default we now do 1-2 per week. My kids are PK and K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is at a Big 3, and is 6. I have been surprised at how few playdates she is invited to. I am trying not to leap to the conclusion that she is unpopular (terrible word for such a young child!). I posted on this board regarding frequency because I know from friends that playdates at neighborhood schools are just so much easier. Much less driving around. So perhaps it skews the comparison a bit. In any case, if you have a young child at a DC private school, it would be great if you'd post how frequently he or she has playdates. This is a hard question to ask my peers because I don't them to know that I am concerned! But I may talk to her teachers sometime soon, and want to be armed with some basic information. FWIW, we live in an easy to reach neighborhood, about 15 minutes from school. So distance isn't the reason why she isn't getting invited very much. Neither is she a difficult child. She had a lot of invitations in preschool.

I am a single parent who works, so don't have much opportunity to host, but I do mooch about once every other week,LOL. I accept invites for my DC, that is. I do offer to reciprocate, but most parents know my situation and continue to offer to host . Frankly, I feel very bad for my DC as well as all children that a simple thing like playing with a friend requires parent scheduling/emails etc... with children waiting days if not a full week until everything is confirmed and they can finally "play" exhale...I believe that all of this micromanagement of childhood undercuts their development of their sense of self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have had 2 playdates this whole year for pk son. Asked 1000 times and nobody interested. It's hard. Ds asks all the time. But the moms are just not willing to do it.

Jesus, you are invited to my house. standing offer. where does your DC go to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a hard question to ask my peers because I don't them to know that I am concerned! But I may talk to her teachers sometime soon, and want to be armed with some basic information.

I've asked this question, and people have asked it of me. It's not really a difficult discussion, and it's a perfectly normal concern. Honestly, I don't think the teachers will have much to add.

My kids have few playdates because we live farther from school, they have some afterschool activities, and I want them to have family/down time. Talking to other parents helped me realize that we're not alone in this. There is a core group that prefers/has lots of playdates, but many don't. Ask your friends!

[Anonymous]

We have maybe 2 a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a hard question to ask my peers because I don't them to know that I am concerned! But I may talk to her teachers sometime soon, and want to be armed with some basic information.

I've asked this question, and people have asked it of me. It's not really a difficult discussion, and it's a perfectly normal concern. Honestly, I don't think the teachers will have much to add.

My kids have few playdates because we live farther from school, they have some afterschool activities, and I want them to have family/down time. Talking to other parents helped me realize that we're not alone in this. There is a core group that prefers/has lots of playdates, but many don't. Ask your friends!

We're in the same boat but my child has made many friends so it's not a huge deal. It sounds like you're concerned about your child's ability to make friends, if so your child's teacher would be able to provide valuable insight.

[Anonymous]

We don't do that many playdates because the class size is so small at the private school my DS goes to (at least the elementary grades). We use afternoons to play with friends in the neighborhood or friends from preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a hard question to ask my peers because I don't them to know that I am concerned! But I may talk to her teachers sometime soon, and want to be armed with some basic information.

I've asked this question, and people have asked it of me. It's not really a difficult discussion, and it's a perfectly normal concern. Honestly, I don't think the teachers will have much to add.

My kids have few playdates because we live farther from school, they have some afterschool activities, and I want them to have family/down time. Talking to other parents helped me realize that we're not alone in this. There is a core group that prefers/has lots of playdates, but many don't. Ask your friends!

We're in the same boat but my child has made many friends so it's not a huge deal. It sounds like you're concerned about your child's ability to make friends, if so your child's teacher would be able to provide valuable insight.

Actually, I'm not. They have plenty of friends. We just don't do a lot of playdates.

[Anonymous]

Depending upon the school, there is a lot of anxiety about the "social pecking order." I remember that in September one year, I called the mom of my son's closest friend to arrange a playdate and she told me that she was booking into November at that point.

I think there is more pressure at smaller schools than larger. I remember parents scrambling to arrange regular playdates - more than once a week. At our larger school, it is more relaxed.