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Playdate frequency in private schools
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Anonymous
| Honestly, you can look for danger everywhere (and pass those feelings along to your children) or you can treat people with respect and an open mind and use your best judgements. And pass those ideals onto your children, who in the end, are aslo going to have to learn to trust their instincts and judgement. |
Anonymous
| Or you can take the time to try to get to know the people you have entrusted with your child. And not act so casual about letting your child go with people you know very little about! I agree you have to use instinct and judgement but to expect that from a five or six year old is a bit much don't ya think? Stop worrying about offending someone and protect your kid! Most parents I know actually feel a releif when I explain to them my reservations and I suggest outings with the PARENT AND CHILD. My child attends a Big 3 too before you decide that things are so different at certain schools .... |
Anonymous
| If there are any working moms how do you navigate this whole playdate thing if you are working during the day? |
Anonymous
Is your child in aftercare? If so, that's like a playdate. If a friend invites them home, you can reciprocate and host on a weekend. If you have a nanny/babysitter, they can host once a week or a few times per month. Otherwise, it's all on weekends. We try to do 2 a month or so. DC is in a charter so there is always driving involved. If we lived on a street with kids it would be easier, even for a bit in the evening. |
Anonymous
I totally agree! I would NEVER leave my child (less than 5 years old) alone with people I don't "really" know! It's a very different world than when we were growing up. There have been too many shocking horror stories involving predators (whom parents would least suspect) and young children. It's better to be SAFE than SORRY, especially when it involves YOUR own children!! |
Anonymous
| If I cannot attend the playdate, my DD does not attend..period! |
Anonymous
| Wow I had no idea people felt this way! This seems quite extreme. |
Anonymous
According to the Crimes Against Children Research Center: * From 1990 to 2007, substantiated cases of child sexual abuse have declined 53% and physical abuse substantiations have declined 52%. Child neglect has declined only 6%, mostly fluctuating over the same period. * From 1993 to 2005, sexual assaults on teenagers decreased by 52%. The subgroup of assaults by known persons decreased even more dramatically. * Other crimes against children 12 to 17 years old have also declined: o Aggravated assault down 69% o Simple assault down 59% o Robbery down 62% o Larceny down 54% So you're right that the world is different, but apparently it's safer, not more dangerous! |
Anonymous
If a parent demanded to stay at the age of 6 for a playdate, it would be the last playdate we ever had with that child because I would think there was something seriously wrong with the parent and would not ever feel comfortable sending my child to their house nor would I want them in my house. I think if a parent can't separate from a child for a few hours from a school age child that is a very real problem. |
Anonymous
So I assume those of you who don't let their children go on playdates alone also homeschool, right? |
Anonymous
| Wow. Either these moms are first-time moms or see danger in everything. We had a mom like that who seriously hampered her son's ability to navigate social issues. He ended up not being invited to playmates because his mom wanted to come too. |
Anonymous
You can call it or see it anyway that fits you, but that is how I choose to raise my child. My child's safety is much more important to me than a playdate at YOUR house. Our home is quite lovely, so we dont have a need to feel honored to be at yours. My child happens to be one of the popular kids in her class, and we are invited to many playdates. I've never had a problem with any parent feeling uncomfortable with me or my child, and vice versa, and our school is quite diverse. The issue is not being able to separate from my child, the issue is leaving my child with a stranger. Either you dont watch the news or you are looking for a babysitter for a couple of hours!! I wont judge you for leaving your child and please dont judge me for staying with mine! |
Anonymous
We attend private schools, attend church, go to professional jobs everyday, hopefully just like you. Just not as relaxed and comfortable as you are with leaving our preschoolers with strangers. |
Anonymous
But how can your child go to school? After all, the school is filled with strangers. Do you go with your child every day and sit through class? Will this continue through high school? College? As a mother, how could one ever drop their child off at a playdate at your house? You don't seem trustworthy or capable of making good decisions. You aren't capable of reading and understanding people. What if you over react to a very simple situation or under react?. How do I know you won't over react and possibly become violent as you feel you must keep your child "safe" from danger? Worse, how do I know you won't become delusional or hear voices that tell you my child is "unsafe"... I know you are patting yourself on the back because you think you are so wonderful but really you need to consider why as an adult you aren't capable of determining whether a situation would be safe or not. After hanging out with the parents a few times, I have been able to find some parents I am comfortable with and some I am not. The ones I am comfortable with I drop my child off for a couple hours for playdates. The others I suggest group outings. |
Anonymous
I am very capable of determining whether a situation is safe, my 3 or 4 year old definitely cannot make that decision. Dropping your child off at school full of people, and leaving my child at someone's home is apples and oranges...once again, I do pat myself on the back for being a wonderful mom. Kids are always at my home, and I dont have issues with parents that stay with their child or parents that live their child in my care. You are ridiculous..so now I must BE pyscho because I dont agree with you leaving your child with STRANGERS! As stated in the previous post, as long as you are comfortable with your decisions, good for you! Doesn't change my opinion at all....we can agree to disagree on this one--- |