Why even bother having kids? (Flame away)-- nanny ad, hours 3:30-8pm

[Anonymous]

I daydream about having enough money to hire help -- a nanny, au pair, cook, housekeeper, the works. However, I totally agree with the OP. She googled these people and this is not a mom at home who needs an extra pair of hands with her three young kids. OP said they were high-powered, more than full time career people and they are obviously hiring help to cover the remaining hours when their other child care goes home. I agree with OP -- why bother having kids?

And to all of you who say, can't you love your kids just as much if you work those hours as someone who stays home with them -- it's not about YOU, it's about YOUR CHILDREN. Some people become parents and never make that profound transition from thinking about their own needs as paramount to thinking of their children's needs as paramount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they work shifts. Maybe they have really inflexible jobs they can't change in this market, and it's the best they can do.

Do you also teach your kids to judge others?

I didn't interpret PP's post as being judgmental but that she is expressing her opinion and for all the PP who are being judgmental toward the OP, she is allowed to do so. Frankly so many of you are so judgmental in calling her judgmental. OP, for what it is worth, I agree with you and I do not think that you are judging the parents of the ad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I daydream about having enough money to hire help -- a nanny, au pair, cook, housekeeper, the works. However, I totally agree with the OP. She googled these people and this is not a mom at home who needs an extra pair of hands with her three young kids. OP said they were high-powered, more than full time career people and they are obviously hiring help to cover the remaining hours when their other child care goes home. I agree with OP -- why bother having kids?

And to all of you who say, can't you love your kids just as much if you work those hours as someone who stays home with them -- it's not about YOU, it's about YOUR CHILDREN. Some people become parents and never make that profound transition from thinking about their own needs as paramount to thinking of their children's needs as paramount.

Let's be honest, some people have children as a fashion statement.

[Anonymous]

I only had mine so someone will look after me in my old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only had mine so someone will look after me in my old age.

I had an aunt who said the same thing. Unfortunately, she drove them crazy when they were growing up and they didn't live up to her expectatons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I daydream about having enough money to hire help -- a nanny, au pair, cook, housekeeper, the works. However, I totally agree with the OP. She googled these people and this is not a mom at home who needs an extra pair of hands with her three young kids. OP said they were high-powered, more than full time career people and they are obviously hiring help to cover the remaining hours when their other child care goes home. I agree with OP -- why bother having kids?

And to all of you who say, can't you love your kids just as much if you work those hours as someone who stays home with them -- it's not about YOU, it's about YOUR CHILDREN. Some people become parents and never make that profound transition from thinking about their own needs as paramount to thinking of their children's needs as paramount.

Yes, through google, I'm sure the OP learned all the relevant and accurate information she needs to judge people she doesn't even know. Google probably told her how many hours they work, what time they leave in the morning, what time they get home, whether or not their children have special needs, whether or not either of the parents has health issues, and maybe even whether or not they are nice to their pets.

[Anonymous]

People have children for all kinds of selfish reasons. I know I did. But for many people, once you have kids you are forever a different person because you are no longer the most important thing TO YOU -- your children are. Some people never experience that. And many people experience it and are told to stuff those feelings away and ignore them -- it will get easier to leave your baby with someone else; it will get easier to hear your baby cry at night. Etc, etc, etc. Being a good parent means making huge sacrifices, your own 'self' as paramount is the first one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only had mine so someone will look after me in my old age.

I had an aunt who said the same thing. Unfortunately, she drove them crazy when they were growing up and they didn't live up to her expectatons.

Disappointing.

[Anonymous]

"Let's be honest, some people have children as a fashion statement. "

True, dat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I daydream about having enough money to hire help -- a nanny, au pair, cook, housekeeper, the works. However, I totally agree with the OP. She googled these people and this is not a mom at home who needs an extra pair of hands with her three young kids. OP said they were high-powered, more than full time career people and they are obviously hiring help to cover the remaining hours when their other child care goes home. I agree with OP -- why bother having kids?

And to all of you who say, can't you love your kids just as much if you work those hours as someone who stays home with them -- it's not about YOU, it's about YOUR CHILDREN. Some people become parents and never make that profound transition from thinking about their own needs as paramount to thinking of their children's needs as paramount.

Yes, through google, I'm sure the OP learned all the relevant and accurate information she needs to judge people she doesn't even know. Google probably told her how many hours they work, what time they leave in the morning, what time they get home, whether or not their children have special needs, whether or not either of the parents has health issues, and maybe even whether or not they are nice to their pets.

Would you continue with your high powered, more than full time job if you had a child with special needs, and let the nannies raise your special needs child? Would you keep said job if you or your spouse had health issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Ultimately, I had to give up a job I loved because I could not keep up the evening hours when I had 2 kids. My husband just wouldn't have been able to cope "

Is there something wrong with your husband?

I wouldn't be able to cope with doing all those things without my husband around, and there's nothing wrong with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM of 3 and I have a full time live in nanny. I prefer her to start the work day later so that she can help me with dinner, bath time and bed time so she works from 12:30-8:30. I guess if I had advertised for those hours the OP would have had some very choice words to describe me and she would be totally off base.

lazy!

Why did you bother to have kids? How did our mothers raise children without paid help?

Not the PP, but my mom had paid help, and so did her mom. In fact, for my grandmother and her friends it would have been shocking not to have paid help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I daydream about having enough money to hire help -- a nanny, au pair, cook, housekeeper, the works. However, I totally agree with the OP. She googled these people and this is not a mom at home who needs an extra pair of hands with her three young kids. OP said they were high-powered, more than full time career people and they are obviously hiring help to cover the remaining hours when their other child care goes home. I agree with OP -- why bother having kids?

And to all of you who say, can't you love your kids just as much if you work those hours as someone who stays home with them -- it's not about YOU, it's about YOUR CHILDREN. Some people become parents and never make that profound transition from thinking about their own needs as paramount to thinking of their children's needs as paramount.

Yes, through google, I'm sure the OP learned all the relevant and accurate information she needs to judge people she doesn't even know. Google probably told her how many hours they work, what time they leave in the morning, what time they get home, whether or not their children have special needs, whether or not either of the parents has health issues, and maybe even whether or not they are nice to their pets.

Would you continue with your high powered, more than full time job if you had a child with special needs, and let the nannies raise your special needs child? Would you keep said job if you or your spouse had health issues?

You are completely missing the point. Who knows if these people have "high powered" jobs? The OP googled them. Who knows what she even saw? Mabye one of them has a profile up at a big deal law firm, but only works part-time. The point is none of us, not the OP or you or me, know the parents who posted the ad for this nanny. We don't know their situation.

[Anonymous]

What strikes me about the advert is that my husband and I work full time and with some exceptions work 9 -6. Even for us who work 'normal' hours, we've considered hiring someone from 3 - 7 so we wouldn't pay for aftercare and we can leave work at about 6:15 to be home by 7. we aren't investment bankers nor do we make a ton of money.

The point is that these could just be two full-time working parents who have someone stay until 8 to help out with stuff after they are home, in part to put together enough hours so someone will have an almost part time gig. Finding someone from 4 -7 5 times a week is not easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM of 3 and I have a full time live in nanny. I prefer her to start the work day later so that she can help me with dinner, bath time and bed time so she works from 12:30-8:30. I guess if I had advertised for those hours the OP would have had some very choice words to describe me and she would be totally off base.

lazy!

Why did you bother to have kids? How did our mothers raise children without paid help?

Not the PP, but my mom had paid help, and so did her mom. In fact, for my grandmother and her friends it would have been shocking not to have paid help.

Not the PP as well, but my grandmother used to go to the grocery store on her own - leaving her 6 kids alone at home (or wherever). I guess the older ones looked after the younger ones. That and there was probably general chaos.