Why even bother having kids? (Flame away)-- nanny ad, hours 3:30-8pm

Anonymous
Gee, I'd love it if one of my neighbors cut and pasted my listserv message to DCUM.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe they work shifts. Maybe they have really inflexible jobs they can't change in this market, and it's the best they can do.

Do you also teach your kids to judge others?


Listen up, OP, nobody on DCUM EVER judges anyone else.





And if it looks like a duck and quakes like a duck and you think it's a duck, then all the guilty consciences come out of the woodwork to let you know just how many other animals walk like ducks and quack like a ducks but are not in fact ducks, and then they'll let you know that your duck assessment says more about you and your own duckiness than it does about the probable non-duck in question. Never assume, OP -- it makes an ass out of u and me.
Anonymous
I agree with PP. You're judging someone who needs 18 hrs a week of child care? My DS is in day care 40 hrs / week. I can only imagine how you would judge me.
Anonymous
I'm a sahm and I had an au pair for 2 years starting when my kids were 7, 5 and newborn. My au pair did all those things. Yes, I was home at the time also doing those things or taking care of the baby (who has special needs) or doing something one on one with one of my older kids or for a while, spending time with my dying father. With 3 kids, having help can mean that each child gets more individual attention or more focused attention. It can mean that your children are able to participate in an after school activity that would be impossible to do without another adult helping with the other children. Or maybe the mom has a chronic illness and just needs an extra set of hands b/c she is so worn out toward the end of the day.

Then again, it could be that neither parent want to give up their high powered career. But there are also very good reasons to have help, if you can afford it, that would be for the benefit of the children.
Anonymous
Interesting topic. Putting aside the judgmental tone, these are odd hours to need day care. Assuming that OP is right and they are both lawyers, it would be a rare job where you would be home with the kids all day (maybe 2 are in preschool) until 3, and then need child care from 3-8. Even if you could set your own hours (e.g. appellate job so you just need to get the work done), why would you want child care at those hours?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I googled the people and they are not working swing shifts, they are both highly-paid professionals (think lawyer/consultant). Not firefighter, nurse, etc.


You googled these people? javascript:emoticon('');
I think I'm more worried about you than them.


Seriously? You don't google people out of curiousity? This is an annonymous message board, you can be honest. I was curious and googled them. They are both high powered/highly paid. Ever read the "wedding section" of Above the Law?" Nothing is off limits there-- they will link to your wedding registry, etc.
Anonymous
I am a SAHM of 3 and I have a full time live in nanny. I prefer her to start the work day later so that she can help me with dinner, bath time and bed time so she works from 12:30-8:30. I guess if I had advertised for those hours the OP would have had some very choice words to describe me and she would be totally off base.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I googled the people and they are not working swing shifts, they are both highly-paid professionals (think lawyer/consultant). Not firefighter, nurse, etc.


You googled these people? javascript:emoticon('');
I think I'm more worried about you than them.


Seriously? You don't google people out of curiousity? This is an annonymous message board, you can be honest. I was curious and googled them. They are both high powered/highly paid. Ever read the "wedding section" of Above the Law?" Nothing is off limits there-- they will link to your wedding registry, etc.


No, I don't google perfect strangers out of curiosity. You sound a little obsessed, OP.
Anonymous
I have a 5 yo and a 5 month old and would love to be able to afford a nanny for those those hours (basically after the older child gets out of school until she goes to bed). It is really tough to juggle multiple kids when they have different schedules.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Gee, I'd love it if one of my neighbors cut and pasted my listserv message to DCUM.


I agree.

------

If they are indeed full-time workers, I agree with you OP.
Anonymous
OP you're a jerk!

My husband travels for work and there's no choice. He has to work. Good for you if you can choose not to work.

I work shifts so we need someone available at "weird" hours and we pay for more than we need so I can have help when I'm alone at home.

Why don't you offer to help instead of talking behind their backs?
Anonymous
OP, Get a life!!!
Anonymous
The reality is, if both parents are lawyers/bankers at firms, they probably have at least one live-in nanny who works 6 am to 3 pm and they are now looking for another (live out nanny) to fill the afternoon and evening role. I once knew a family with three kids where the dad was a partner at a major consulting firm (so he traveled out of town Mon-Fri) and the Mom worked as an investment banker in NYC (but they lived in DC where the husband's firm was)! So they had a full-time live in nanny, plus two other nannies to relieve the full-time nanny. Again, I tried not to judge, but why have kids? If you have a super high-powered family, I could understand having one (a la Hillary and Bill) and then realizing it wouldn't be fair to the kids to have more, but two or three? And both parents are working this hard by choice - they could very comfortably survive on one of their salaries alone. I agree that once you have kids, something has to give. And if it's not compromising to come up with some semblance of career/family balance, I fear what's "giving" is a certain amount of their children's happiness. Sure, the kids don't "notice" when they're babies or toddlers, but don't think they won't remember their parents' (extreme) absence when they get a little older.
Anonymous
I agree, 00:16.
Anonymous
I worked almost these exact hours for my daughter's first 2 years of life. I worked at a non-profit and went into work at around 3 and finished at 8. I worked with poor people, worked 15-18 hrs. and earned around 30K for this. My husband was left to deal with my daughter, make dinner (never really figured that one out), bathe and attempt to put a nursing addict to bed all by himself. All of this after a 10 hour work/commute of his own. At the time, I would have LOVED to have had help for him during those hours...especially if we had more than 1 child.

Ultimately, I had to give up a job I loved because I could not keep up the evening hours when I had 2 kids. My husband just wouldn't have been able to cope and we did not have the $ to hire someone else. Bummer. I work same amount of hours now but just compressed into 2 days.

You never do know OP, what is going on in people's lives.
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