Forum Index
»
Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Why even bother having kids? (Flame away)-- nanny ad, hours 3:30-8pm
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
I'll admit it - I'm totally jealous of your lifestyle. |
Anonymous
|
OMG, if I could afford to and had the space, I would totally have live-in help. And, I would have my children help nanny/au pair with the cleaning and cooking.
Having an extra pair of hands, especially if one parent works long hours, would improve my quality of life, reduce my stress level, and make for a neater house with better meals. |
Anonymous
| OP, I guess turnabout is fair play. Why shouldn't people who work like that judge SAHMs for not working at all? MYOB. |
Anonymous
But that's not your decision to make. I personally would have appreciated it if my SAHM mother had gotten a job at some point, so I would have had less debt from school and much less money anxiety in general. Kids' happiness can cut both ways. |
Anonymous
|
Love your post, PP.
What I find amusing is that in many other countries, live in help is commonplace. Not only would you have a nanny, but you'd also have a cook, a driver, and a housekeeper. So why does anyone feel the need to judge? Is it because Americans are supposed to just suck it up and be miserable and do it all themselves because that's 'better'? And for the PP who asked for stats about people living farther from parents, you're dead on. I'll bet there are plenty of stats out there showing the increasing rate of people going to college (moving away from their hometown)and starting professional careers (again, not in their hometown). Just look at the numbers that indicate the low percentage of younger and middle-aged people in rural america vs. the increasing numbers in cities and suburbs. I don't know about you, but my rural hometown has a pretty sad looking main street. The US population is becoming more and more concentrated around the major cities and coastlines. And there is no way my parents could afford to relocate to the DC area without giving up a huge chunk of their retirement fund, so yeah, I'm sure the person posting for the ad has no family in the area. OR - think about this - they have to take care of their aging/ill parents or grandparents. Meaning, make them dinner, pay their bills, take them to run errands, etc. So yeah, let's not judge a book by its cover. |
Anonymous
| SAHMs with full-time nanny - I used to judge people like you, until I had a baby. I am still on maternity leave, and the saving grace of my day is that my husband will come home, and I can hand the baby off and the rest of the evening is mine, if I want it. I don't change diapers or feed the baby after he comes home from work, or on weekends. He is home by 7 most nights. If I didn't know I had a break coming at the end of the day, or on the weekend, I would lose it. If my husband worked really late/long/unpredictable hours, I'd want to hire help, too. (Or import some grandparents to help out!) |
Anonymous
|
Shame on the OP for hijacking an advertisement shared with them as neighbors and posting it here as a means of smearing someone in your community.No one here knows the first thing about these people and their family life, and the presumptions by the OP and some PPs based on a very nicely worded advertisement are really obnoxious. Maybe one of the parents is dealing with a serious illness, or maybe a child who needs therapy and greater parental attention. Maybe one has to travel, and the other is overwhelmed by three small children in the evening hours day in and day out. Or maybe they're just like the friends I know who have similar PT help - caring, devoted working parents who have their children in wonderful daycare/preschool/elementaries but simply want to have an extra set of hands to deal with the errands and household tasks and yes even things like getting a toddler bathed and ready for bed. If they can afford it, what's the harm?
The assumption that only disinterested, overly ambitious, uninvolved parents would need afternoon help is flat out wrong . I'm a working mom with only two kids and tons of job flexibility (as does my husband), but we still need help! We have no family who can pitch in when something comes up (a sick kid, a flat tire, a snow day, etc.) Having regular PT help in the afternoon, both before and after I come home with the kids, would be a godsend, and would probably make our family life infinitely happier. |
Anonymous
This sounds wonderful. Good for you. People are just jealous. Gutting everything out alone with no help doesn't make you a better parent. But it probably will make you a more stressed out and unhappy person (and therefore a worse parent?). I don't know why people think you have to do every single last thing yourself in order to be a "real" parent. I guarantee if this woman has 3 kids, she still has plenty to keep her busy even with full-time help. |
Anonymous
| OP - do you seriously think the parents don't love those children? Or don't love them as much as you love yours? |
Anonymous
| I think it's one thing if a parent is at home and needs a helper-- especially with 3 kids at that age range, it's totally understandable! I think what OP is responding to is if the nanny is basically handling the entire time period alone, which would be dinner/bath/bed. If they are professionals (and not shift workers), they may have a live-in nanny/ aupair for the day time. |
Anonymous
|
This thread is so depressing.
What a loser the OP must be. |
Anonymous
|
"Ultimately, I had to give up a job I loved because I could not keep up the evening hours when I had 2 kids. My husband just wouldn't have been able to cope "
Is there something wrong with your husband? |
Anonymous
This is not very nice, but I agree. OP, you saw an ad and made a whole bunch of negative assumptions and had judgemental and unkind thoughts. But that wasn't enough. Then you post it on DCUM for the world to see? If this is really from your neighborhood list serve, I think that's a huge breech of trust. I use my neighborhood list serve and would be APPALLED if I knew people were posting items from the list serve on DCUM, basically for no good reason other than to generate a bunch of nasty and mean-spirited commentary. All this toward people who you don't even know. Despite your creepy googling. Gross. |
Anonymous
|
OP, you are gross and crazy. Only really horrible people assume the worst about perfect strangers. I shudder to think of what terrible secret thoughts you think in the dark squalor of your mind. I don't even have to assume anything -- look at how you've comported yourself: posting a message from an external board to libel a couple who needs help, internet stalking them, vociferously defending your weird actions (whilst sounding crazier and crazier).
The family who posted the notice, on the other hand, sound positive, cheerful, nice, and funny. They sound like nice people. You do not. Maybe instead of spending your time being a scold and going after random strangers, you should invest some time into self-reflection so you can figure out why you desperately need to put others down and make negative judgments about them. To assuage some deep-seating insecurities or guilt, perhaps? |
Anonymous
| It's possible that one of the parents has to work late hours. When my DH was a resident, he worked all sort of hours. I was a graduate student with classes running as late as 7 PM. Luckily, my mother was already retired by the time we had our first child and she stayed with him until I got back from class. |