Inheritance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we have never really had a financial planner. I am always skeptical especially since they probably want to manage your assets.

My wife doesn't really want to "budget" either. I have asked several times in the past but it's gone nowhere (like other than a very basic budget with a few line items). It's not going to happen so i don't ask really anymore.

But she's not a huge spender. that's kind of her version of a budget.

She's not a huge spender but she wants to spend 700k/year?

Is this a troll at this point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both have divorced parents that range in age from 82-86.

The range of expected combined inheritance across the group of them is 2-10 M (this is my best ballpark for purposes of this thread based on possible spend down for health care and market losses for the one who is an aggressive investor) Both dads are pretty sturdy and have significantly younger wives, which will likely reduce their need to use assisted living. Both moms have lost their partners to death and are extraordinarily stubborn and living independently.

I think of it as money, if it occurs, that we can use to help our kids get a strong financial start. Not counting on it, hoping this will not be soon but realize they are getting older.

We continue to fund our own retirement. There was a point when we moved a substantial part of our investment dollars towards college because we felt comfortable with where retirement was going.

The fact that you think the existence of these younger wives is a money-saving mechanism that is preserving some portion of your inheritance is either funny or sad, depending on how much you need the money. You aren't getting anything from the remarried daddies; time to start being more grateful for your "extraordinarily stubborn" mom and MIL.

Not sure you are worth replying to.

OP asked a question and I tried to give the best answer I could with the information I have. The fact that I consider a wide range of variables that impact the potential outcome does not make me some plotting gold digger, i am simply practical. Could my step mother get hit by a bus tomorrow? Possibly, but it is unlikely. Does her existence impact how long my father can live independently given their 10 year age difference, yes it does. Independent and assisted living in retirement communities are among the largest costs of the last years of one’s life if we are lucky. How much of that care will be needed is a variable to be considered.

I am sorry that you have some other agenda to push. What a sad sack you are.

This . . . is not what the PP you're replying to you said, or even implied. I think you misread the comment. You also still seem to not understand it, so I'll say it plainly: your dad and FIL's money is going to their new wives, not to you and your DH. That money is gone as far as you're concerned. Stop mentally thinking it will come to you in any amount, whether or not it is preserved by the trophy wives' selfless eldercare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we have never really had a financial planner. I am always skeptical especially since they probably want to manage your assets.

My wife doesn't really want to "budget" either. I have asked several times in the past but it's gone nowhere (like other than a very basic budget with a few line items). It's not going to happen so i don't ask really anymore.

But she's not a huge spender. that's kind of her version of a budget.

She's not a huge spender but she wants to spend 700k/year?

Is this a troll at this point?

Probably only about $400-$450 after taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we have never really had a financial planner. I am always skeptical especially since they probably want to manage your assets.

My wife doesn't really want to "budget" either. I have asked several times in the past but it's gone nowhere (like other than a very basic budget with a few line items). It's not going to happen so i don't ask really anymore.

But she's not a huge spender. that's kind of her version of a budget.

She's not a huge spender but she wants to spend 700k/year?

Is this a troll at this point?

well, spend the after tax amount of 700k.

she doesn't spend that now. she wants to spend that. we save money. that's how we got 9-10mm.

essentially she wants to spend an extra $50-100k a year.

housekeeping each week instead of every week
dropping off all laundry
drinking $100 bottle of wine instead of $40
getting a massage 2x a month
taking an Uber more often.
Nicer clothes.

stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both have divorced parents that range in age from 82-86.

The range of expected combined inheritance across the group of them is 2-10 M (this is my best ballpark for purposes of this thread based on possible spend down for health care and market losses for the one who is an aggressive investor) Both dads are pretty sturdy and have significantly younger wives, which will likely reduce their need to use assisted living. Both moms have lost their partners to death and are extraordinarily stubborn and living independently.

I think of it as money, if it occurs, that we can use to help our kids get a strong financial start. Not counting on it, hoping this will not be soon but realize they are getting older.

We continue to fund our own retirement. There was a point when we moved a substantial part of our investment dollars towards college because we felt comfortable with where retirement was going.

The fact that you think the existence of these younger wives is a money-saving mechanism that is preserving some portion of your inheritance is either funny or sad, depending on how much you need the money. You aren't getting anything from the remarried daddies; time to start being more grateful for your "extraordinarily stubborn" mom and MIL.

Not sure you are worth replying to.

OP asked a question and I tried to give the best answer I could with the information I have. The fact that I consider a wide range of variables that impact the potential outcome does not make me some plotting gold digger, i am simply practical. Could my step mother get hit by a bus tomorrow? Possibly, but it is unlikely. Does her existence impact how long my father can live independently given their 10 year age difference, yes it does. Independent and assisted living in retirement communities are among the largest costs of the last years of one’s life if we are lucky. How much of that care will be needed is a variable to be considered.

I am sorry that you have some other agenda to push. What a sad sack you are.

This . . . is not what the PP you're replying to you said, or even implied. I think you misread the comment. You also still seem to not understand it, so I'll say it plainly: your dad and FIL's money is going to their new wives, not to you and your DH. That money is gone as far as you're concerned. Stop mentally thinking it will come to you in any amount, whether or not it is preserved by the trophy wives' selfless eldercare.

is it standard policy for the new wifes to get all the $$ and not the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we have never really had a financial planner. I am always skeptical especially since they probably want to manage your assets.

My wife doesn't really want to "budget" either. I have asked several times in the past but it's gone nowhere (like other than a very basic budget with a few line items). It's not going to happen so i don't ask really anymore.

But she's not a huge spender. that's kind of her version of a budget.

She's not a huge spender but she wants to spend 700k/year?

Is this a troll at this point?

well, spend the after tax amount of 700k.

she doesn't spend that now. she wants to spend that. we save money. that's how we got 9-10mm.

essentially she wants to spend an extra $50-100k a year.

housekeeping each week instead of every week
dropping off all laundry
drinking $100 bottle of wine instead of $40
getting a massage 2x a month
taking an Uber more often.
Nicer clothes.

stuff like that.

Your math isn't quite mathing here. Which is why you should consider seeing an accountant or similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both have divorced parents that range in age from 82-86.

The range of expected combined inheritance across the group of them is 2-10 M (this is my best ballpark for purposes of this thread based on possible spend down for health care and market losses for the one who is an aggressive investor) Both dads are pretty sturdy and have significantly younger wives, which will likely reduce their need to use assisted living. Both moms have lost their partners to death and are extraordinarily stubborn and living independently.

I think of it as money, if it occurs, that we can use to help our kids get a strong financial start. Not counting on it, hoping this will not be soon but realize they are getting older.

We continue to fund our own retirement. There was a point when we moved a substantial part of our investment dollars towards college because we felt comfortable with where retirement was going.

The fact that you think the existence of these younger wives is a money-saving mechanism that is preserving some portion of your inheritance is either funny or sad, depending on how much you need the money. You aren't getting anything from the remarried daddies; time to start being more grateful for your "extraordinarily stubborn" mom and MIL.

Not sure you are worth replying to.

OP asked a question and I tried to give the best answer I could with the information I have. The fact that I consider a wide range of variables that impact the potential outcome does not make me some plotting gold digger, i am simply practical. Could my step mother get hit by a bus tomorrow? Possibly, but it is unlikely. Does her existence impact how long my father can live independently given their 10 year age difference, yes it does. Independent and assisted living in retirement communities are among the largest costs of the last years of one’s life if we are lucky. How much of that care will be needed is a variable to be considered.

I am sorry that you have some other agenda to push. What a sad sack you are.

This . . . is not what the PP you're replying to you said, or even implied. I think you misread the comment. You also still seem to not understand it, so I'll say it plainly: your dad and FIL's money is going to their new wives, not to you and your DH. That money is gone as far as you're concerned. Stop mentally thinking it will come to you in any amount, whether or not it is preserved by the trophy wives' selfless eldercare.

is it standard policy for the new wifes to get all the $$ and not the kids?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we have never really had a financial planner. I am always skeptical especially since they probably want to manage your assets.

My wife doesn't really want to "budget" either. I have asked several times in the past but it's gone nowhere (like other than a very basic budget with a few line items). It's not going to happen so i don't ask really anymore.

But she's not a huge spender. that's kind of her version of a budget.

She's not a huge spender but she wants to spend 700k/year?

Is this a troll at this point?

well, spend the after tax amount of 700k.

she doesn't spend that now. she wants to spend that. we save money. that's how we got 9-10mm.

essentially she wants to spend an extra $50-100k a year.

housekeeping each week instead of every week
dropping off all laundry
drinking $100 bottle of wine instead of $40
getting a massage 2x a month
taking an Uber more often.
Nicer clothes.

stuff like that.

Your math isn't quite mathing here. Which is why you should consider seeing an accountant or similar.

can you explain?

[Anonymous]

I only count the trust that passes to direct descendants. I do count it for retirement planning. But while the primary beneficiary gets fairly broad latitude, they can’t just empty it. I don’t count any personal assets our parents might leave us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we have never really had a financial planner. I am always skeptical especially since they probably want to manage your assets.

My wife doesn't really want to "budget" either. I have asked several times in the past but it's gone nowhere (like other than a very basic budget with a few line items). It's not going to happen so i don't ask really anymore.

But she's not a huge spender. that's kind of her version of a budget.

She's not a huge spender but she wants to spend 700k/year?

Is this a troll at this point?

well, spend the after tax amount of 700k.

she doesn't spend that now. she wants to spend that. we save money. that's how we got 9-10mm.

essentially she wants to spend an extra $50-100k a year.

housekeeping each week instead of every week
dropping off all laundry
drinking $100 bottle of wine instead of $40
getting a massage 2x a month
taking an Uber more often.
Nicer clothes.

stuff like that.

Your math isn't quite mathing here. Which is why you should consider seeing an accountant or similar.

can you explain?

The things you are describing do not add up to 100k.

At your income level, it's also not clear where your existing money goes (unless you have some very high debts or expenses somewhere) based on the lifestyle you're describing.

The 9 to 10 million you have currently saved should be itself generating hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, like in a high.yield sayings account at 5% that's 500k/year just from what you have already saved. And that's a not a terribly good return.

But to be super clear you shouldn't be listening to me, I'm a rando on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we have never really had a financial planner. I am always skeptical especially since they probably want to manage your assets.

My wife doesn't really want to "budget" either. I have asked several times in the past but it's gone nowhere (like other than a very basic budget with a few line items). It's not going to happen so i don't ask really anymore.

But she's not a huge spender. that's kind of her version of a budget.

She's not a huge spender but she wants to spend 700k/year?

Is this a troll at this point?

well, spend the after tax amount of 700k.

she doesn't spend that now. she wants to spend that. we save money. that's how we got 9-10mm.

essentially she wants to spend an extra $50-100k a year.

housekeeping each week instead of every week
dropping off all laundry
drinking $100 bottle of wine instead of $40
getting a massage 2x a month
taking an Uber more often.
Nicer clothes.

stuff like that.

Your math isn't quite mathing here. Which is why you should consider seeing an accountant or similar.

can you explain?

The things you are describing do not add up to 100k.

At your income level, it's also not clear where your existing money goes (unless you have some very high debts or expenses somewhere) based on the lifestyle you're describing.

The 9 to 10 million you have currently saved should be itself generating hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, like in a high.yield sayings account at 5% that's 500k/year just from what you have already saved. And that's a not a terribly good return.

But to be super clear you shouldn't be listening to me, I'm a rando on the internet.

they add up to less than 100k. it's an example of things we discussed.

yes the 9-10mm generate returns, that's how the pot grows until we retire.

350k post tax goes away very quickly if $10k in rent, vacations, going out to eat etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we have never really had a financial planner. I am always skeptical especially since they probably want to manage your assets.

My wife doesn't really want to "budget" either. I have asked several times in the past but it's gone nowhere (like other than a very basic budget with a few line items). It's not going to happen so i don't ask really anymore.

But she's not a huge spender. that's kind of her version of a budget.

She's not a huge spender but she wants to spend 700k/year?

Is this a troll at this point?

well, spend the after tax amount of 700k.

she doesn't spend that now. she wants to spend that. we save money. that's how we got 9-10mm.

essentially she wants to spend an extra $50-100k a year.

housekeeping each week instead of every week
dropping off all laundry
drinking $100 bottle of wine instead of $40
getting a massage 2x a month
taking an Uber more often.
Nicer clothes.

stuff like that.

Your math isn't quite mathing here. Which is why you should consider seeing an accountant or similar.

can you explain?

The things you are describing do not add up to 100k.

At your income level, it's also not clear where your existing money goes (unless you have some very high debts or expenses somewhere) based on the lifestyle you're describing.

The 9 to 10 million you have currently saved should be itself generating hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, like in a high.yield sayings account at 5% that's 500k/year just from what you have already saved. And that's a not a terribly good return.

But to be super clear you shouldn't be listening to me, I'm a rando on the internet.

they add up to less than 100k. it's an example of things we discussed.

yes the 9-10mm generate returns, that's how the pot grows until we retire.

350k post tax goes away very quickly if $10k in rent, vacations, going out to eat etc.

If your investments are generating properly why would you be worrying about 2 million in inheritance years put? Your existing investments should be generating more than that in the time being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t incorporate it into my planning until a trust was set up. This is for 5M (and I have two siblings, each of us gets 5; the overall estate is a little more than 15). The income generated by the trust is more than enough to generously support my parents, and they are quite old. We always suspected some money would be coming but you just don’t know what will happen. At this point my parents actually can’t change their mind and, say, donate it all without a lot of legal hurdles, as I’m a co-trustee of the overall estate (and executor when they pass).

And yeah, now I’m thinking I want to travel more and worry less. I’m in my early 40s.

BUT until you get to the point of having legal paperwork in hand, I wouldn’t assume you’re getting anything, even if it’s likely.

Great advice. Unless there is a legal agreement in place, you never know. I'm too risk averse to plan on a "hopefully," even though both sets of parents intend to leave spouse and me an inheritance, which they've told us. I will be happy if we receive it, but we've planned to take care of ourselves fully and it will be gravy and likely passed on to our kids/grandkids if we ever do receive anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not count on it.

Memory care is $140,000 to more than $220,000 yearly.

They could need memory care and that would eat up 2.5 M pretty quick, especially if there are two.

No way. These estimates are way overblown. First off if you’re in memory care you have no other expenses. You also still earn social security, pension, dividends etc.

The chance of you having someone in memory care for years and the spouse too means you moved them there too early. The average stay isn’t even 2 years.

You should be more worried the market collapses.

[Anonymous]

I’m saving for retirement as though I won’t receive it.

I’m an only child and my mom is worth $3 million. She spends around $75k a year and doesn’t spend her RMD.

She earns around $80k a year in dividends and pension. She’d still earn that in LTC and in my LCOL it’s closer to $90k.

I’m more concerned about a market collapse.