Inheritance

[Anonymous]

No but that’s because I will get nothing and neither will my DH. My mom has no money and my dad has a significantly younger wife.

[Anonymous]

I think about it. I’ll be honest. Taking care of one parent right now and the other side parent (1 of each side are dead) also has dementia. They have about $7m and $2m but with that also comes a lot of responsibility. It’s awful. They refuse any outside help and I’m starting to wonder if the money is worth my sanity. I don’t think it is. We have plenty. About the same as both of them combined so it’s never affected retirement planning for us. We still save a lot, but as kids near college age I’m sure we will spend about $1m of it on that.

[Anonymous]

Don't think about it. I sort of did but now my parents are in their 90s, living in an expensive retirement community and burning through $30K and month. I'll be lucky to get $10.

[Anonymous]

You should never rely on an inheritance. A) a living person has no heirs. Someone can change their will at any time. B) you never know what life throws at you. My uncle was quite wealthy but years of dementia and memory care exhausted a lot of his funds.

As someone who did inherit in my 30s from a parent who died unexpectedly young, the whole thing made me feel slimy and awful. I put the money to my kids college but I'd trade every single dime so my kids could have their granddad back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot will go toward taxes, unfortunately, always consider 1/2 need to be set aside for taxes in April...

You don’t know how inheritance works

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot will go toward taxes, unfortunately, always consider 1/2 need to be set aside for taxes in April...

You don’t know how inheritance works

I'm not PP but we did have some expenses taking some of my parents' property and investments through probate and dealing with some of the investments. But what I learned from the experience was to set up a trust for my own kids. It should reduce some of the hassle for the kids when my time comes.

[Anonymous]

Eldercare is incredibly expensive so unless parents actual estate is much larger (and the $2.5m is discounted) I wouldnt count on this as a part of my retirement until it's in your bank account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both have divorced parents that range in age from 82-86.

The range of expected combined inheritance across the group of them is 2-10 M (this is my best ballpark for purposes of this thread based on possible spend down for health care and market losses for the one who is an aggressive investor) Both dads are pretty sturdy and have significantly younger wives, which will likely reduce their need to use assisted living. Both moms have lost their partners to death and are extraordinarily stubborn and living independently.

I think of it as money, if it occurs, that we can use to help our kids get a strong financial start. Not counting on it, hoping this will not be soon but realize they are getting older.

We continue to fund our own retirement. There was a point when we moved a substantial part of our investment dollars towards college because we felt comfortable with where retirement was going.

The fact that you think the existence of these younger wives is a money-saving mechanism that is preserving some portion of your inheritance is either funny or sad, depending on how much you need the money. You aren't getting anything from the remarried daddies; time to start being more grateful for your "extraordinarily stubborn" mom and MIL.

Not sure you are worth replying to.

OP asked a question and I tried to give the best answer I could with the information I have. The fact that I consider a wide range of variables that impact the potential outcome does not make me some plotting gold digger, i am simply practical. Could my step mother get hit by a bus tomorrow? Possibly, but it is unlikely. Does her existence impact how long my father can live independently given their 10 year age difference, yes it does. Independent and assisted living in retirement communities are among the largest costs of the last years of one’s life if we are lucky. How much of that care will be needed is a variable to be considered.

I am sorry that you have some other agenda to push. What a sad sack you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. It is not part of your retirement planning.

This. But your retirement planning may be different than your parent’s. So it seems like you have 2 questions OP. Unless you’re like my friend who is pissed that her MIL wouldn’t pay for private 1-12.

[Anonymous]

OP Here - thanks for the responses. I will respond to individual posts but in generally I believe it's smart to think about these things. It's not grubby or anything like that.

but some background. my wife and I save. I like to save more than she does.

We are 50 years old and have $9-10MM in investable assets and $2MM in Real estate equity. Our HHI income is on the order of $500-700K depending on the year.

She wants to completely spend our HHI each year now. Does not want to save anymore.

Is she being reasonable? Normally I say no but not so sure anymore.

Two sets of parents. 1 of them aren't in the greatest shape and i could see a decade of memory care for both of them. My haircut assumption is $2MM in that case. The other set is healthier and really need to be planning on another 15-20 years. So who knows on that one but i haircut that to be $2MM as well.

In retirement we want to be able to spend exactly (if not more) than we spend today.

Normal retirement planning says withdraw 4% a year. so, in our case that would be 400k. we are about 100-200k short. Hence save is my view.

Wife view - expenses go down so today's life style costs alot less without expenses for kids. And 4% of some value for the inheritance gets us to the 100-200k number anyway.

is she correct?

p.s. we are very lucky. historically we have lived below our means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both have divorced parents that range in age from 82-86.

The range of expected combined inheritance across the group of them is 2-10 M (this is my best ballpark for purposes of this thread based on possible spend down for health care and market losses for the one who is an aggressive investor) Both dads are pretty sturdy and have significantly younger wives, which will likely reduce their need to use assisted living. Both moms have lost their partners to death and are extraordinarily stubborn and living independently.

I think of it as money, if it occurs, that we can use to help our kids get a strong financial start. Not counting on it, hoping this will not be soon but realize they are getting older.

We continue to fund our own retirement. There was a point when we moved a substantial part of our investment dollars towards college because we felt comfortable with where retirement was going.

The fact that you think the existence of these younger wives is a money-saving mechanism that is preserving some portion of your inheritance is either funny or sad, depending on how much you need the money. You aren't getting anything from the remarried daddies; time to start being more grateful for your "extraordinarily stubborn" mom and MIL.

Not sure you are worth replying to.

OP asked a question and I tried to give the best answer I could with the information I have. The fact that I consider a wide range of variables that impact the potential outcome does not make me some plotting gold digger, i am simply practical. Could my step mother get hit by a bus tomorrow? Possibly, but it is unlikely. Does her existence impact how long my father can live independently given their 10 year age difference, yes it does. Independent and assisted living in retirement communities are among the largest costs of the last years of one’s life if we are lucky. How much of that care will be needed is a variable to be considered.

I am sorry that you have some other agenda to push. What a sad sack you are.

DP. You need to read the other thread on this forum about married men with younger wives screwing his kids out of everything. Yes, even with a trust. BTDT. Sounds like a lot of DCUMmers have been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not count on it.

Memory care is $140,000 to more than $220,000 yearly.

They could need memory care and that would eat up 2.5 M pretty quick, especially if there are two.

the 2.5MM was post memory care. (for one set of parents)

i assumed over 2.0MM for care for one set of parents.

(multiple the numbers by 2 since both parents have give or take the same $$)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not part of our planning process. Anything I get I will likely pass straight on to my DCs, anyway.

OP Here - that's kind of how I think about it and why I like to save. I don't want to spend down our money and then not leave the Dc with anything, especially if
our parents gave us something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here - thanks for the responses. I will respond to individual posts but in generally I believe it's smart to think about these things. It's not grubby or anything like that.

but some background. my wife and I save. I like to save more than she does.

We are 50 years old and have $9-10MM in investable assets and $2MM in Real estate equity. Our HHI income is on the order of $500-700K depending on the year.

She wants to completely spend our HHI each year now. Does not want to save anymore.

Is she being reasonable? Normally I say no but not so sure anymore.

Two sets of parents. 1 of them aren't in the greatest shape and i could see a decade of memory care for both of them. My haircut assumption is $2MM in that case. The other set is healthier and really need to be planning on another 15-20 years. So who knows on that one but i haircut that to be $2MM as well.

In retirement we want to be able to spend exactly (if not more) than we spend today.

Normal retirement planning says withdraw 4% a year. so, in our case that would be 400k. we are about 100-200k short. Hence save is my view.

Wife view - expenses go down so today's life style costs alot less without expenses for kids. And 4% of some value for the inheritance gets us to the 100-200k number anyway.

is she correct?

p.s. we are very lucky. historically we have lived below our means.

You need a financial plan. They can calculate her scenario and yours. Many people die with more. Spend the $$ to do this then make a decision. But do NOT factor in inheritance. Let that be gravy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t incorporate it into my planning until a trust was set up. This is for 5M (and I have two siblings, each of us gets 5; the overall estate is a little more than 15). The income generated by the trust is more than enough to generously support my parents, and they are quite old. We always suspected some money would be coming but you just don’t know what will happen. At this point my parents actually can’t change their mind and, say, donate it all without a lot of legal hurdles, as I’m a co-trustee of the overall estate (and executor when they pass).

And yeah, now I’m thinking I want to travel more and worry less. I’m in my early 40s.

BUT until you get to the point of having legal paperwork in hand, I wouldn’t assume you’re getting anything, even if it’s likely.

this is what my wife would like to do - but she doesn't have the legal paperwork. although the wills do give us our share of the $$.