Inheritance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child so I'll inherit responsibility as well as money. I've saved for my own retirement since I was a teenager. I've talked about it with a handful of career women I know in a similar boat. But, mysogyny is real. A lot of the married women I know have been overt in telling me they consider themselves financially better off than a single woman like me. It seems to feed their egos to assume I'm broke. And that's fine. A guy I dated casually apparently Google stalked my parents after he found out I was an only child and got drunk one night and admitted he was primarily "financially attracted" to me. Since then I've been borderline secretive about what my parents have, or what I have. Luckily I don't have an ego and a ton of people really are very performative about wealth. So, if I bum around in jeans and a t shirt (because I'm work from home) and never do my nails (because my hobbies include gardening and painting) they assume I'm broke. Had lunch with an older female friend who was talking about a clutch of women she knows from the country club (I never joined) and apparently the ladies of the country club didn't want me to be involved in some charity project they were doing because they assumed I had no money. We both sort of shrugged over our margaritas. So no, not changing my own habits based on future inheritance. When my parents pass away I'll probably get much more serious about charitable planning.

It's fun being rich. Just own it.

[Anonymous]

Without knowing how much you have and how much you want to spend now instead of save, hard to say. But here's our experience. On one side of our family there was significant money. FIL died early and left a lot. MIL relatively frugal, but the last decade of life was unbelievably expensive - independent living, assisted living, paying people to do just about every service, medical care. In the end, we were left with $200,000 out of probably $1.5m. SIL also go200,000. If they need it, the medical care is no joke and much of the care that makes for a satisfying quality of life is private pay.

[Anonymous]

My parents have a lot of money, and really don't like spending it. They also have a lot of grandchildren. I'm not sure how they will divide it up, and I don't really care. The only thing I keep in mind is that I won't have to support them in their last years, which is a nice thing.

I wish they would spend more of it now, but my mom in particular really wants to be able to pass money to her grandchildren. It doesn't change our planning at all

[Anonymous]

We've gotten our big inheritance because my FIL died in his early 70s. We knew how much it was at the time the grandparent died because of the way the trust was structured, but then he turned out to need intensive care for the last decade of his life. It didn't drain the trust, but it also didn't grow at all.

The money is very good to have now that we have it, but I'm glad we were still saving like it didn't exist.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t incorporate it into my planning until a trust was set up. This is for 5M (and I have two siblings, each of us gets 5; the overall estate is a little more than 15). The income generated by the trust is more than enough to generously support my parents, and they are quite old. We always suspected some money would be coming but you just don’t know what will happen. At this point my parents actually can’t change their mind and, say, donate it all without a lot of legal hurdles, as I’m a co-trustee of the overall estate (and executor when they pass).

And yeah, now I’m thinking I want to travel more and worry less. I’m in my early 40s.

BUT until you get to the point of having legal paperwork in hand, I wouldn’t assume you’re getting anything, even if it’s likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child so I'll inherit responsibility as well as money. I've saved for my own retirement since I was a teenager. I've talked about it with a handful of career women I know in a similar boat. But, mysogyny is real. A lot of the married women I know have been overt in telling me they consider themselves financially better off than a single woman like me. It seems to feed their egos to assume I'm broke. And that's fine. A guy I dated casually apparently Google stalked my parents after he found out I was an only child and got drunk one night and admitted he was primarily "financially attracted" to me. Since then I've been borderline secretive about what my parents have, or what I have. Luckily I don't have an ego and a ton of people really are very performative about wealth. So, if I bum around in jeans and a t shirt (because I'm work from home) and never do my nails (because my hobbies include gardening and painting) they assume I'm broke. Had lunch with an older female friend who was talking about a clutch of women she knows from the country club (I never joined) and apparently the ladies of the country club didn't want me to be involved in some charity project they were doing because they assumed I had no money. We both sort of shrugged over our margaritas. So no, not changing my own habits based on future inheritance. When my parents pass away I'll probably get much more serious about charitable planning.

This is your insecurity talking. I have 25M and drive a beat-up Corolla, and while I dress well, I don't walk about with logos or visible signs of wealth. It's the point. I don't want people to relate to me just because I'm rich.

Stop blaming everyone else for your lack of confidence.

Thanks for the psych evaluation. Strangely, I don't think I lack confidence. And I'd say I'm way less insecure than the trophy wife bimbos at the country club who are one divorce away from not being able to do lunch. (I have a friend who is an attorney. A lot of them really don't have the financial option of divorce unless they are interested in getting a job and down sizing.)

I do what I like. And am arrogant enough not to care what the neighbors think of me. And self confident enough not to declare than any man is better than no man. Especially if it's a man I have to pay for. My life is good. Especially as 3 generations ago thanks to genuine famine my family was genuinely food insecure.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I both have divorced parents that range in age from 82-86.

The range of expected combined inheritance across the group of them is 2-10 M (this is my best ballpark for purposes of this thread based on possible spend down for health care and market losses for the one who is an aggressive investor) Both dads are pretty sturdy and have significantly younger wives, which will likely reduce their need to use assisted living. Both moms have lost their partners to death and are extraordinarily stubborn and living independently.

I think of it as money, if it occurs, that we can use to help our kids get a strong financial start. Not counting on it, hoping this will not be soon but realize they are getting older.

We continue to fund our own retirement. There was a point when we moved a substantial part of our investment dollars towards college because we felt comfortable with where retirement was going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child so I'll inherit responsibility as well as money. I've saved for my own retirement since I was a teenager. I've talked about it with a handful of career women I know in a similar boat. But, mysogyny is real. A lot of the married women I know have been overt in telling me they consider themselves financially better off than a single woman like me. It seems to feed their egos to assume I'm broke. And that's fine. A guy I dated casually apparently Google stalked my parents after he found out I was an only child and got drunk one night and admitted he was primarily "financially attracted" to me. Since then I've been borderline secretive about what my parents have, or what I have. Luckily I don't have an ego and a ton of people really are very performative about wealth. So, if I bum around in jeans and a t shirt (because I'm work from home) and never do my nails (because my hobbies include gardening and painting) they assume I'm broke. Had lunch with an older female friend who was talking about a clutch of women she knows from the country club (I never joined) and apparently the ladies of the country club didn't want me to be involved in some charity project they were doing because they assumed I had no money. We both sort of shrugged over our margaritas. So no, not changing my own habits based on future inheritance. When my parents pass away I'll probably get much more serious about charitable planning.

This is your insecurity talking. I have 25M and drive a beat-up Corolla, and while I dress well, I don't walk about with logos or visible signs of wealth. It's the point. I don't want people to relate to me just because I'm rich.

Stop blaming everyone else for your lack of confidence.

Thanks for the psych evaluation. Strangely, I don't think I lack confidence. And I'd say I'm way less insecure than the trophy wife bimbos at the country club who are one divorce away from not being able to do lunch. (I have a friend who is an attorney. A lot of them really don't have the financial option of divorce unless they are interested in getting a job and down sizing.)

I do what I like. And am arrogant enough not to care what the neighbors think of me. And self confident enough not to declare than any man is better than no man. Especially if it's a man I have to pay for. My life is good. Especially as 3 generations ago thanks to genuine famine my family was genuinely food insecure.

What thread do you think you're posting in? OP just asked how potential inheritance does (or does not) fit into your financial planning.

[Anonymous]

A lot will go toward taxes, unfortunately, always consider 1/2 need to be set aside for taxes in April...

[Anonymous]

My mom’s care has cost roughly $500k over the past four years. She’s 84. I don’t count on anything.

[Anonymous]

NP. It's not uncommon for aging parents to go over there wishes and retirement plan with you. And it's good for you to understand their wishes. I am going to inherit roughly $2.5M from a parent approaching 90 yrs old (which is already the oldest anyone in our family has lived in several generations). So, of course my spouse and I think about that. I don't believe ANYONE who is actually in this situation (i.e. $Ms), that claims they don't think about it. Thinking about it doesn't make you a bad person.

Now, does that mean we change our retirement saving strategy? - absolutely not. We don't plan for it or count on it. We have also been saving aggressively, and we don't need it to meet our retirement target. We'd rather use that money to help our children and grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. It's not uncommon for aging parents to go over there wishes and retirement plan with you. And it's good for you to understand their wishes. I am going to inherit roughly $2.5M from a parent approaching 90 yrs old (which is already the oldest anyone in our family has lived in several generations). So, of course my spouse and I think about that. I don't believe ANYONE who is actually in this situation (i.e. $Ms), that claims they don't think about it. Thinking about it doesn't make you a bad person.

Now, does that mean we change our retirement saving strategy? - absolutely not. We don't plan for it or count on it. We have also been saving aggressively, and we don't need it to meet our retirement target. We'd rather use that money to help our children and grandchildren.

*their wishes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both have divorced parents that range in age from 82-86.

The range of expected combined inheritance across the group of them is 2-10 M (this is my best ballpark for purposes of this thread based on possible spend down for health care and market losses for the one who is an aggressive investor) Both dads are pretty sturdy and have significantly younger wives, which will likely reduce their need to use assisted living. Both moms have lost their partners to death and are extraordinarily stubborn and living independently.

I think of it as money, if it occurs, that we can use to help our kids get a strong financial start. Not counting on it, hoping this will not be soon but realize they are getting older.

We continue to fund our own retirement. There was a point when we moved a substantial part of our investment dollars towards college because we felt comfortable with where retirement was going.

The fact that you think the existence of these younger wives is a money-saving mechanism that is preserving some portion of your inheritance is either funny or sad, depending on how much you need the money. You aren't getting anything from the remarried daddies; time to start being more grateful for your "extraordinarily stubborn" mom and MIL.

[Anonymous]

spouse may inherit a significant amount ($5-20m), or maybe it will all get frittered away.

doesn't change my personal planning at all. what it does change is that the grandparents have fully funded our kiddos 529s, and they will directly fund private school if it becomes necessary.

i'll have a perfectly comfortable life between my retirement accounts and pension as long as i keep saving responsibly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot will go toward taxes, unfortunately, always consider 1/2 need to be set aside for taxes in April...

Only if the estate is over $15m for a single person and $30m for a couple with portability (even if one dies first). If OPs inheritance is in excess of $30m then she is probably fine even with estate taxes.

I don't count on my inheritance in retirement planning. I am close to retirement now, and the parent I will inherit from (over 80) could live another 10 years or more. My grandmother lived to 98. Also my parents got divorced when I was in my 50s and my father remarried so his assets will go to his wife, not me. My mother has enough assets that even a decade of assisted living won't drain them, but they will come to me after I've retired.