On Metro - do you offer your seat to pregnant women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow! This is a really BORING topic. Who gives a shit?

"I'm white - I noticed this too. I got to the point in my third trimester that I would just gravitate to AA men, because they would give up their seat (even younger men). "

No comment.

Ummmm. You just commented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow! This is a really BORING topic. Who gives a shit?

"I'm white - I noticed this too. I got to the point in my third trimester that I would just gravitate to AA men, because they would give up their seat (even younger men). "

No comment.

So, why do you need to read and comment if it's so boring (and in caps?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well PP, most of the posts refer to women who are noticeably 8-9 months pregnant, and since we are not yet wearing coats yet, it IS noticeable at the 3rd trimester, unless of course you are blind. The descriptions of the scenarios are clear. Many of the women in advance stages of pregnancy are standing right in front of the riders seated in the disabled seats and these riders do NOT offer their seats (male or female).

The issue is not that women are resentful that men do not give up their seats. The issue and observation is that men overall tend NOT to give up their seats for very visibly pregnant women. Shame on able-bodied teenage young men and middle age men. They were not properly inculcated with good manners and courtesy.

So as a man, if I see a pregnant woman and offer her my seat, can I chastise all the able-bodied women who were sitting closer and failed to offer up their seats? Can I tell them they "were not properly inculcated with good manners and courtesy"? Don't you agree they are just as obligated as I am to offer their seats?

I'm not trying to say some men aren't dolts, or to defend those that are. I'm just trying to see whether it's an equal-opportunity obligation. Don't able-bodied women have the same obligation to offer seats?

NP here. Sure, you can chastise the able-bodied women if you'd like. And yes, women should offer their seats as well. However, I'll gladly admit that I expect chivalry and courtesy from men. I have expectations, and I was raised right. So what?

[Anonymous]

"Shame on able-bodied teenage young men and middle age men. They were not properly inculcated with good manners and courtesy."

If the parents didn't teach the men good manners, why is their any shame to their behavior?

[Anonymous]

Correction: If the parents didn't teach the men good manners, why is there any shame to their behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Shame on able-bodied teenage young men and middle age men. They were not properly inculcated with good manners and courtesy."

If the parents didn't teach the men good manners, why is their any shame to their behavior?

That's what she said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

same here, and also men from foreign countries or obvious tourists. Also I always got offered a seat whenever I rode the bus. Metro was another story

I think tourists are the WORST. I have NEVER seen a tourist offer a seat to anyone - not to me (hugely pregnant), an elderly person, etc. And I ride the Orange Line at rush hour and have seen, plenty of times, tourists who allow their middle school / teenage children to occupy the handicapped seats while seniors & pregnant women stand there. Maybe they're not familiar with our Metro system and its rules, but manners are manners.

I think tourists and businessmen are the two worst culprits.

Basically agree here. Not making an excuse for tourists, but I think many of them are not familiar with public transportation. They're a little panicked about riding on the train/bus and they CAN'T conceive of having to stand ever to travel any distance. I think this speaks volumes on how the car is both the birth and death of our economy.

[Anonymous]

I do think able-bodied men should yield their seats first, before able-bodied women are displaced. It is so discouraging to see that so few men still believe this.

Feminism bought us infinitely longer to-do lists, but men have far fewer responsibilities toward us than they did before.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do.

My anthropology class did a study on this in grad school - it was a metro culture experiment - by having women wear fake pregnant bellies and ride the metro during rush hour. It turns out that the MOST likely people to give up seats to pregnant women were other women - particularly if the other women were with children. The last by a long shot were men in business suits. It has been about a decade but I think the order went something like this:

1. Women with children
2. Other women (casually dressed and business attire tied)
3. school age children of both genders
4. elderly, both genders
5. casually dressed men
6. business attire men

5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white, and I observed that African-American men were considerably more likely to offer me a seat when I was pregnant than white men were.

Sorry to generalize, but this was true for me too. I have also noticed that AA men are more likely to hold the door as well. DC is full of self-important white dudes who have no manners. Shame on them all.

I also noticed that black men of all ages were/are more likely to offer a seat and hold doors than white men in this area.

[Anonymous]

When I was heavily pregnant, I was probably offered a seat about 50% of the time. I agree with others that the seat was usually given by a woman or AA man. Never a white guy and especially not a middle-aged one. I felt pretty comfortable asking someone for their seat if it wasn't offered. I'm not falling because I was too chicken to ask someone for a seat. Actually for a few weeks, I would always end up asking the same middle-aged man for his seat. He would always give it up, but seriously, don't sit in the handicapped seats if the train is full!

I always give up my seat when I see someone who needs it. Agree that too many parents aren't teaching their kids proper manners!

[Anonymous]

I wonder how many husbands of DCUMers do not offer pregnant women seats on Metro or the bus.

I know that DH would, and I hope that the husbands of my friends would do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually for a few weeks, I would always end up asking the same middle-aged man for his seat. He would always give it up, but seriously, don't sit in the handicapped seats if the train is full!

This is funny! For an area full of smart people, some have very shallow learning curves.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all of the responses, but when I was pregnant I had people offer me seats all the time. Men and women. I didn't start accepting until 7.5 months or so--I hate being the dramatic pregnant person.

[Anonymous]

I occasionally used to see a woman on the metro who would loudly and assertively ask if anyone was willing to give up their seat as soon as she entered the train. She looked like she was in her 20s but used a cane. I think people were a bit surprised of her being so assertive and they couldn't really ignore her. She always got a seat.