Toxic Coach

[Anonymous]

We teach our kids that they don’t deserve to be subject to a toxic environment. Whether it’s a soccer team or a future job. The key is positioning yourself so you have agency and options.

It doesn’t mean someone is too tough works the kids hard. I’m all for that, but the toxic traits mentioned a few times in this thread are not a place where a child should remain and it is important to teach them that lesson now.

We had a child on a team with a toxic coach who was very critical of her skills and would bench her if she made one mistake even if she was giving it his all. And she is a very compliant kid who doesn’t act up and is actually annoyed when other kids do. This is pre-ECNL.

At one point it was bad enough that we had her try out this spring for what is considered to be a much higher ranked team and she made it with the coach being very complimentary of her athleticism.

Against our better judgment we gave her the option of switching right away and she decided to stick out the rest of the season which nearly killed her love of the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We teach our kids that they don’t deserve to be subject to a toxic environment. Whether it’s a soccer team or a future job. The key is positioning yourself so you have agency and options.

It doesn’t mean someone is too tough works the kids hard. I’m all for that, but the toxic traits mentioned a few times in this thread are not a place where a child should remain and it is important to teach them that lesson now.

We had a child on a team with a toxic coach who was very critical of her skills and would bench her if she made one mistake even if she was giving it his all. And she is a very compliant kid who doesn’t act up and is actually annoyed when other kids do. This is pre-ECNL.

At one point it was bad enough that we had her try out this spring for what is considered to be a much higher ranked team and she made it with the coach being very complimentary of her athleticism.

Against our better judgment we gave her the option of switching right away and she decided to stick out the rest of the season which nearly killed her love of the game.

We gave our U12 DD the option of switching to a higher team w better coaching and environment and she chose to stay...it was against out better judgement to let he choose, we should have forced the switch. Now we are stuck riding this turd around and around for another year, and she doesn't even know it. I think there is a line between letting your kids pick and parental wisdom overruling your kid's choice an and signing them up for what's best. Current coach isn't toxic, it just isn't good. Live and learn, now DD wants to switch and it's too late this season for better teams that are close to us. -Will likely just force switch next year if given the option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We teach our kids that they don’t deserve to be subject to a toxic environment. Whether it’s a soccer team or a future job. The key is positioning yourself so you have agency and options.

It doesn’t mean someone is too tough works the kids hard. I’m all for that, but the toxic traits mentioned a few times in this thread are not a place where a child should remain and it is important to teach them that lesson now.

We had a child on a team with a toxic coach who was very critical of her skills and would bench her if she made one mistake even if she was giving it his all. And she is a very compliant kid who doesn’t act up and is actually annoyed when other kids do. This is pre-ECNL.

At one point it was bad enough that we had her try out this spring for what is considered to be a much higher ranked team and she made it with the coach being very complimentary of her athleticism.

Against our better judgment we gave her the option of switching right away and she decided to stick out the rest of the season which nearly killed her love of the game.

We gave our U12 DD the option of switching to a higher team w better coaching and environment and she chose to stay...it was against out better judgement to let he choose, we should have forced the switch. Now we are stuck riding this turd around and around for another year, and she doesn't even know it. I think there is a line between letting your kids pick and parental wisdom overruling your kid's choice an and signing them up for what's best. Current coach isn't toxic, it just isn't good. Live and learn, now DD wants to switch and it's too late this season for better teams that are close to us. -Will likely just force switch next year if given the option.

It’s a tough balance. We are forcing her to switch for the fall, but we probably have forced it sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave

This

[Anonymous]

Is this about MV at fvu?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this about MV at fvu?

Seriously? No.

Complain if you must about FVU not being the equal of VDA or Bethesda or whichever teams are dominating Texas and California at the moment, but "toxic"? Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this about MV at fvu?

Seriously? No.

Complain if you must about FVU not being the equal of VDA or Bethesda or whichever teams are dominating Texas and California at the moment, but "toxic"? Get a grip.

He's not be the best coach but he's definitely not toxic. Clueless on occasion but an overall decent person.

[Anonymous]

A few to avoid:
AS - VDA
SC - Bethesda
SV - MD United

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to make sure she knows it’s not her fault. It’s him, not her or anything she is doing to deserve that kind of treatment. She can only control what she can control and the only opinion of her that matters is her own. Seriously look for another club. You don’t need to tell the TD or anyone else why. That’s your business. No amount of perceived benefit is worth the toxicity and destroying her confidence and self worth. No single club or coach holds the key to her success. She holds that key.

Keep telling yourself that...wait until your daughter gets to college and the coach goes silent. Favoritism is an amazing thing on the girls side.