Toxic Coach
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Why would you continue to send your DD to a place where she is constantly being belittled? Please quit immediately. |
Anonymous
| Most of the times these are the TD or DOC or whoever, so yes just leaving is the best option. It won't change. |
Anonymous
| Our son had a toxic coach and team and played even harder than ever to earn his playing time. The reverberations of the toxic abuse are far reaching and after leaving that team for a top MLSN1 club our son has suffered the mental anguish of feeling he’s not good enough and seeking extrinsic versus intrinsic motivations. Leave as fast as you can and never go back!!!! Our boy is U14 and has to move to a different club next year bc his game has suffered. He will fight back but u15 would have been a huge year for him. We let this happen! We were complicit!! So sad. |
Anonymous
|
Yes indeed
Get out asap And then set up some counseling here https://mbsperformancecounseling.com/ |
Anonymous
|
Leave the club and most importantly talk to your kid. This is not a sport that guarantees your child a 6 figure job nor does it place in a T-20 or even 50 school . Unfortunately we parents make these abusive coaches feel like the world is at their mercy.
Coaches in the community are doing a great job teaching kids a sport and that’s great but in the end, this is not a pro academy in Europe or a top school pipeline. Focus on more important things in life. |
Anonymous
| We have encountered many toxic clubs and coaches over the years as my DD is now near the end of the road. It simply amazes me how many families not only put up with but jump through hoops to join these clubs. They think they are getting some kind of advantage to their ultimate dream of D1 soccer for their daughter but now from the other side I see how ridiculous that was. If your daughter has the talent then she holds the power not the club. It’s those other players, who are good but not great, who are the ones seeking out these toxic clubs because they think it will be worth it in the end (it won’t). It’s really a shame how many girls waste, yes waste, their formative years in these toxic places chasing the wrong things. |
Anonymous
|
If it is mental abuse, you can usually document it and bring it up to the TD. Even if they do not act, you can also make a case directly to MLS NEXT or similar. They do not tolerate that kind of behavior, and they do investigate complaints seriously.
|
Anonymous
| This right here is why I prioritize a well recommended coach and club over whether it’s ECNL or GA or whatever. The coach and teammates are more important. |
Anonymous
Yes. It is a waste for time and I would not even call D1 a dream. What is the average salary of a D1 graduate?? |
Anonymous
| We left a club due to a toxic coach. DS was actually one of the players that the coach liked, but the way the coach spoke to some of the other kids and the team as a whole was not OK. We didn’t want DS to think that was normal or acceptable. He ended up on a team that was probably a bit of a step down just to get away from that situation. We are trying to make parenting choices with the long run in mind, not what will lead to short-term success on a soccer field. I want a well-adjusted young adult after all of this is done. |
Anonymous
| Could your child switch to a different team within the club? Even if it means down a level or up an age group? I've seen a few girls stop loving the game during these toxic coach years (e.g., upset before practice or internalizing the coaches comments) - and they then needed a full year or more to rebuild their confidence, love of the game, etc. at a different club and lower level competition. |
Anonymous
| What kind of parent would put up with it. Just pick up and leave, not the end of the world. There are tons of abusive coaches and we have seen them at all levels. |
Anonymous
CC - ED - JJ - NE - MJ at VRSC MR JOH MH MS PL RP at LOUDOUN AB at TSJ VALOR lol |
Anonymous
Are JJ, NE, and MJ no longer at VRSC? I don't see them on the website. Are RP, PL, MR, MH, JOH no longer at Loudoun? I don't see them on the website. |
Anonymous
Is FU still at STFU? |