Parents of Black Children, Please Let Me Know Your Thoughts

[Anonymous]

Sometimes your own race will treat you like trash on the bottom of their shoe. It has nothing to do with your process OP, trust me. Pick the place that checks the boxes of your other criteria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I think the poster made clear that they were talking about Chinese people - not all Asians. Are you providing this opinion from the perspective of a parent of a Black child in MCPS? Or are you part of another demographic and are just “piping in” to give your opinion about something you don’t know anything about? I think it’s so weird when a poster asks a specific subset of people about a particular experience and people who aren’t part of this subset respond to provide their uninformed opinion. Like, how would you even know???

Wonder how this type of comment would play out for other demographics...

No. I don’t worry about how this would play out for other demographics because I’m educated on racial history and understand where OP is coming from. You don’t think the Black experience in this country warrants a parent asking about what other Black families’ have experienced in MCPS?

And funny how you didn’t make the same comment on the thread where a white parent was asking what it was like to go to a predominantly Latino school. 🤔

People did criticize that OP.

[Anonymous]

Some of these comments harbor a lot of antagonism towards a whole group of folks simply based their membership in a particular ethnic group. Is there a word for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of these comments harbor a lot of antagonism towards a whole group of folks simply based their membership in a particular ethnic group. Is there a word for this?

I may be wrong but I think when you make broad generalizations regarding a group of people, for example saying Chinese people are xyz, that’s called…what’s the word…racist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I agree with the PP and had expressed a similar view earlier. Asian Americans are insular as are Chinese immigrants. Asian Americans are the loudest ones who don’t want to be mixed in with who they regard as the poors (look at the Crown thread).

#facts - the group that is the most opposed and yet can’t speak English well enough to articulate it properly but still has the nerve to look down on others.

Of course all Asians are Chinese people. They all look alike right? Love this thread!

[Anonymous]

As they say in the hood - “I don’t know if it was a Chinese, Vietnamese or Japanese - all I know is it was one of the ‘nese!!!!😆😆

[Anonymous]

See the Wootton boundary chat for all you need to know about how they perceive your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I agree with the PP and had expressed a similar view earlier. Asian Americans are insular as are Chinese immigrants. Asian Americans are the loudest ones who don’t want to be mixed in with who they regard as the poors (look at the Crown thread).

#facts - the group that is the most opposed and yet can’t speak English well enough to articulate it properly but still has the nerve to look down on others.

I’m the PP you’re responding to. I would say most of the rabid anti-Crown group are American born and speak like you speak. The problem with them is they seem rabid and aren’t coherent. Something about worrying about their home values going down, and their perception of a decrease in “status” (which was only in their heads in the first place. No one cares about their rando secondary school). They don’t like the FARMS rate going up, which would correspond with the change of “demographics.” It seems clear to me who they don’t want to be mixed with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I agree with the PP and had expressed a similar view earlier. Asian Americans are insular as are Chinese immigrants. Asian Americans are the loudest ones who don’t want to be mixed in with who they regard as the poors (look at the Crown thread).

#facts - the group that is the most opposed and yet can’t speak English well enough to articulate it properly but still has the nerve to look down on others.

I’m the PP you’re responding to. I would say most of the rabid anti-Crown group are American born and speak like you speak. The problem with them is they seem rabid and aren’t coherent. Something about worrying about their home values going down, and their perception of a decrease in “status” (which was only in their heads in the first place. No one cares about their rando secondary school). They don’t like the FARMS rate going up, which would correspond with the change of “demographics.” It seems clear to me who they don’t want to be mixed with.

I think that whole opposition is mostly about a) property values, and b) walkability to the current Wootton. Both make sense to me, but the vitriol is getting out of hand. I think the racial element in the discussion is mostly because they think the way for their complaint to get traction is to tie it to racism. Simply disagreeing with a public policy isn't grounds for anything; demonstrating that it was racially motivated gets you some legal justification.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See the Wootton boundary chat for all you need to know about how they perceive your child.

I think it’s pretty obvious what they think about me and my whole family, I don’t need to see one letter on that thread to know. Why are Blacks such a threat? There are only a handful of us in moco, relatively speaking. We are not moving, so they will have to keep spinning their wheels in ignorance.

[Anonymous]

You could consider DC. Many white people in DC are more progressive, well-read and sophisticated than the ones in MoCo and there are also very few Asians. Very different vibe from MoCo if you look in Kalorama Park, Capitol Hill, Glover and Woodley Park. The white parents whose kids attend public school understand the city’s dynamics, racial demographics and are very tuned into local politics, etc. Your kids could go to public school there and not be the only Black one, have more Black teachers and won’t or feel isolated. Or you could even consider a private school - they aren’t all ridiculously expensive and are also diverse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We faced this dilemma when we moved from Silver Spring to Potomac. I have three girls and we moved for better schools and I would do it again. I don't think there was much of a real racial dynamic in my oldest's (we moved during third grade) friend groups and she integrated well when moving in ES. Over time, she became self conscious because her preferred friend group was pretty girly and she became quite conscious of her hair. One girl even had a 'hair salon' birthday party. In sixth grade, one of the teachers moved her to the back of the room because others couldn't see around her hair. That kind of thing. My other two kids have different personalities and I think were much less conscious about this/it seems not to have come up much, or at least they didn't report it.

My second kid did face some racial issues in ES-- it was really just one unhappy kid who was targeting lots of people for whatever issue she could come up with so while it was racial taunts at my kid, it was other types of bullying for other kids.

Over time, though, two things happened. First, the schools became a bit more diverse moving into MS and HS. So you might look at that. If this is just an ES issue, I wouldn't think twice about it, frankly. As my kids moved into MS and especially HS, their friend group became much more Black. They still have a diverse set of friends, but there were definitely more Black kids included in their inner circle.

The other thing that happened, though, and I think it's related, is that going into MS and especially HS, race became front and center of a lot of the discourse. Like, the kids TALK about race a lot. In our society today, much more than I remember growing up, people just talk a lot more about race. And all three of them talked about being uncomfortable with those conversations in HS because they were in the minority. Things like teachers asking them (not in so many words but clearly in spirit) to represent the Black perspective. Lots of conversations in history and english classes where they felt like other kids in the class were looking at them. (Remarkably, all three of them said that kids in their US history class speculated about how much they would have brought at a slave auction. I think there must be a part of the class where they talk about shade of complexion as one of the inputs into the price of the slave and all three said that set kids in their class thinking.) One plays sports and says kids on OTHER teams have yelled slurs (which is a different thing that what you're asking) but that their own coach didn't really handle it well maybe due to inexperience-- she felt like the coach didn't protect them.

So I don't have good advice. In all, 1. I'm happy my kids went to better performing schools than they otherwise would have. 2. I think the kid's personality might matter a lot in terms of how sensitive they are to certain things. 3. As an ES parent, you're probably overly focused on ES dynamics and demographics and that's a short time and less of a big deal I think. Look at the MS and HS experiences. 4. Over time, all three of their friend groups became much more Black. Not just because the HS was more diverse than the ES but I think because the emphasis on race and other social dynamics nudged them in that direction as they grew older.

That's the truth because, for us, the challenge of finding neighborhoods/schools is complicated by many variables. We have no good advice to offer because there're very few options for us. I assume OP is talking about African Americans when they refer to Black parents and children. If so, focusing on Black stats won't help because I believe that MCPS lumps African Americans and African immigrants or children of African immigrants together. My child attends a diverse school; however, in a class that has 8 Black boys, they are the only African American boy in the class. White parents see the class and see a good amount of Black boys. I see a class that only has one African American boy.

If a parent is concerned about their child being the only African American in a class or one of a handful in a grade, consider visiting the public school to see it for yourself, or consider private. The reality in MoCo is: there is no neighborhood with a high concentration of high-achieving African American families. We're all spread throughout the county, so it's not like we can move to a neighborhood or school cluster where we can reasonably expect that our children will not be the only or one of a few. That's why organizations like Jack and Jill are important.

For what it's worth, the dynamics you are describing ease up a lot in MS and HS. My kids attended an elementary school that was plurality East African and it was certainly true that the ADOS kids and the more recent immigrants kids didn't mix much, but that was because a lot of kids in ES don't mix outside their immediate neighborhood/church/parent network.

Once kids get more freedom, and frankly once the African immigrant kids have a handful of experiences that make it clear that the cop/store owner/school administrator see them *exactly* the same as the ADOS kids, those barriers fall down pretty quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could consider DC. Many white people in DC are more progressive, well-read and sophisticated than the ones in MoCo and there are also very few Asians. Very different vibe from MoCo if you look in Kalorama Park, Capitol Hill, Glover and Woodley Park. The white parents whose kids attend public school understand the city’s dynamics, racial demographics and are very tuned into local politics, etc. Your kids could go to public school there and not be the only Black one, have more Black teachers and won’t or feel isolated. Or you could even consider a private school - they aren’t all ridiculously expensive and are also diverse.

Uuum I don't know if you ever actually lived in DC and which sides you actually live on.

But most of the whites in DC were part of the whole gentrification of DC. During that whole gentrification process was pushing the Blacks/African Americans to PG County. Like around the early 2000s?

The WORST types of racists are the limousine liberals who try to act and smile in front of other people but really have a sense of superiority or hate. Malcolm X used to preach about watching out for those type of people. It happens in MCPS and Montgomery County too where there was that issue in Kennedy back in the 90s or so, where people were complaining about certain groups thinking they were in charge of the school and programs. And photos of the BLM protests in Germantown, where there was not a photo of a single person of color at those protests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could consider DC. Many white people in DC are more progressive, well-read and sophisticated than the ones in MoCo and there are also very few Asians. Very different vibe from MoCo if you look in Kalorama Park, Capitol Hill, Glover and Woodley Park. The white parents whose kids attend public school understand the city’s dynamics, racial demographics and are very tuned into local politics, etc. Your kids could go to public school there and not be the only Black one, have more Black teachers and won’t or feel isolated. Or you could even consider a private school - they aren’t all ridiculously expensive and are also diverse.

Uuum I don't know if you ever actually lived in DC and which sides you actually live on.

But most of the whites in DC were part of the whole gentrification of DC. During that whole gentrification process was pushing the Blacks/African Americans to PG County. Like around the early 2000s?

The WORST types of racists are the limousine liberals who try to act and smile in front of other people but really have a sense of superiority or hate. Malcolm X used to preach about watching out for those type of people. It happens in MCPS and Montgomery County too where there was that issue in Kennedy back in the 90s or so, where people were complaining about certain groups thinking they were in charge of the school and programs. And photos of the BLM protests in Germantown, where there was not a photo of a single person of color at those protests.

Facts. Yet this thread is determined to hate on Asians, going as far as to say just move to DC, there’s less Asians there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I agree with the PP and had expressed a similar view earlier. Asian Americans are insular as are Chinese immigrants. Asian Americans are the loudest ones who don’t want to be mixed in with who they regard as the poors (look at the Crown thread).

Personally our family always welcomes all races, all religions, all disabilities at all parties. However, if there was a parent who made a racist comment like this, their kids are welcome but they can pick them up after the party is over.