Parents of Black Children, Please Let Me Know Your Thoughts

[Anonymous]

Don’t let race color (no pun intended) your decision. Why? Because it’s immutable. Maybe it’s my NY upbringing, but I am at the point of take me or leave me. I harmoniously went to school with just about every race/ethnicity/culture known to man. The answers to your questions really depend on what you prioritize, your goals, your values, your background, etc. Don’t let something like race block you or your family’s access to anything. I feel like we build (or we allow others to build) these narratives in our heads that block us from staking claim on things we are also entitled to. I would be analyzing each school’s (in the cluster) academic record, look at your future neighborhood, your home features, your commute. With hindsight being 20/20, have some private school backup options.

When we first moved to Moco, my kids were each one of very few Blacks in a W cluster. Mostly because we raised them to be good humans and to be aware of but to not operate in any of the -isms, they went on to have all types of friends of different races and genders. The teachers and staff loved them like their own. The experience wasn’t all daisies and dandelions and you do need to check some folk without delay. For the most part, they had a great experience. Don’t know what the current landscape looks like and I know the exclusions happen. But don’t assume or be deterred by it. Again, have plan B ready. Whatever it is, get there and add 2 more datapoints to the statistics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We faced this dilemma when we moved from Silver Spring to Potomac. I have three girls and we moved for better schools and I would do it again. I don't think there was much of a real racial dynamic in my oldest's (we moved during third grade) friend groups and she integrated well when moving in ES. Over time, she became self conscious because her preferred friend group was pretty girly and she became quite conscious of her hair. One girl even had a 'hair salon' birthday party. In sixth grade, one of the teachers moved her to the back of the room because others couldn't see around her hair. That kind of thing. My other two kids have different personalities and I think were much less conscious about this/it seems not to have come up much, or at least they didn't report it.

My second kid did face some racial issues in ES-- it was really just one unhappy kid who was targeting lots of people for whatever issue she could come up with so while it was racial taunts at my kid, it was other types of bullying for other kids.

Over time, though, two things happened. First, the schools became a bit more diverse moving into MS and HS. So you might look at that. If this is just an ES issue, I wouldn't think twice about it, frankly. As my kids moved into MS and especially HS, their friend group became much more Black. They still have a diverse set of friends, but there were definitely more Black kids included in their inner circle.

The other thing that happened, though, and I think it's related, is that going into MS and especially HS, race became front and center of a lot of the discourse. Like, the kids TALK about race a lot. In our society today, much more than I remember growing up, people just talk a lot more about race. And all three of them talked about being uncomfortable with those conversations in HS because they were in the minority. Things like teachers asking them (not in so many words but clearly in spirit) to represent the Black perspective. Lots of conversations in history and english classes where they felt like other kids in the class were looking at them. (Remarkably, all three of them said that kids in their US history class speculated about how much they would have brought at a slave auction. I think there must be a part of the class where they talk about shade of complexion as one of the inputs into the price of the slave and all three said that set kids in their class thinking.) One plays sports and says kids on OTHER teams have yelled slurs (which is a different thing that what you're asking) but that their own coach didn't really handle it well maybe due to inexperience-- she felt like the coach didn't protect them.

So I don't have good advice. In all, 1. I'm happy my kids went to better performing schools than they otherwise would have. 2. I think the kid's personality might matter a lot in terms of how sensitive they are to certain things. 3. As an ES parent, you're probably overly focused on ES dynamics and demographics and that's a short time and less of a big deal I think. Look at the MS and HS experiences. 4. Over time, all three of their friend groups became much more Black. Not just because the HS was more diverse than the ES but I think because the emphasis on race and other social dynamics nudged them in that direction as they grew older.

That's the truth because, for us, the challenge of finding neighborhoods/schools is complicated by many variables. We have no good advice to offer because there're very few options for us. I assume OP is talking about African Americans when they refer to Black parents and children. If so, focusing on Black stats won't help because I believe that MCPS lumps African Americans and African immigrants or children of African immigrants together. My child attends a diverse school; however, in a class that has 8 Black boys, they are the only African American boy in the class. White parents see the class and see a good amount of Black boys. I see a class that only has one African American boy.

If a parent is concerned about their child being the only African American in a class or one of a handful in a grade, consider visiting the public school to see it for yourself, or consider private. The reality in MoCo is: there is no neighborhood with a high concentration of high-achieving African American families. We're all spread throughout the county, so it's not like we can move to a neighborhood or school cluster where we can reasonably expect that our children will not be the only or one of a few. That's why organizations like Jack and Jill are important.

Plenty of noted exclusion there as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We faced this dilemma when we moved from Silver Spring to Potomac. I have three girls and we moved for better schools and I would do it again. I don't think there was much of a real racial dynamic in my oldest's (we moved during third grade) friend groups and she integrated well when moving in ES. Over time, she became self conscious because her preferred friend group was pretty girly and she became quite conscious of her hair. One girl even had a 'hair salon' birthday party. In sixth grade, one of the teachers moved her to the back of the room because others couldn't see around her hair. That kind of thing. My other two kids have different personalities and I think were much less conscious about this/it seems not to have come up much, or at least they didn't report it.

My second kid did face some racial issues in ES-- it was really just one unhappy kid who was targeting lots of people for whatever issue she could come up with so while it was racial taunts at my kid, it was other types of bullying for other kids.

Over time, though, two things happened. First, the schools became a bit more diverse moving into MS and HS. So you might look at that. If this is just an ES issue, I wouldn't think twice about it, frankly. As my kids moved into MS and especially HS, their friend group became much more Black. They still have a diverse set of friends, but there were definitely more Black kids included in their inner circle.

The other thing that happened, though, and I think it's related, is that going into MS and especially HS, race became front and center of a lot of the discourse. Like, the kids TALK about race a lot. In our society today, much more than I remember growing up, people just talk a lot more about race. And all three of them talked about being uncomfortable with those conversations in HS because they were in the minority. Things like teachers asking them (not in so many words but clearly in spirit) to represent the Black perspective. Lots of conversations in history and english classes where they felt like other kids in the class were looking at them. (Remarkably, all three of them said that kids in their US history class speculated about how much they would have brought at a slave auction. I think there must be a part of the class where they talk about shade of complexion as one of the inputs into the price of the slave and all three said that set kids in their class thinking.) One plays sports and says kids on OTHER teams have yelled slurs (which is a different thing that what you're asking) but that their own coach didn't really handle it well maybe due to inexperience-- she felt like the coach didn't protect them.

So I don't have good advice. In all, 1. I'm happy my kids went to better performing schools than they otherwise would have. 2. I think the kid's personality might matter a lot in terms of how sensitive they are to certain things. 3. As an ES parent, you're probably overly focused on ES dynamics and demographics and that's a short time and less of a big deal I think. Look at the MS and HS experiences. 4. Over time, all three of their friend groups became much more Black. Not just because the HS was more diverse than the ES but I think because the emphasis on race and other social dynamics nudged them in that direction as they grew older.

That's the truth because, for us, the challenge of finding neighborhoods/schools is complicated by many variables. We have no good advice to offer because there're very few options for us. I assume OP is talking about African Americans when they refer to Black parents and children. If so, focusing on Black stats won't help because I believe that MCPS lumps African Americans and African immigrants or children of African immigrants together. My child attends a diverse school; however, in a class that has 8 Black boys, they are the only African American boy in the class. White parents see the class and see a good amount of Black boys. I see a class that only has one African American boy.

If a parent is concerned about their child being the only African American in a class or one of a handful in a grade, consider visiting the public school to see it for yourself, or consider private. The reality in MoCo is: there is no neighborhood with a high concentration of high-achieving African American families. We're all spread throughout the county, so it's not like we can move to a neighborhood or school cluster where we can reasonably expect that our children will not be the only or one of a few. That's why organizations like [b]Jack and Jill are important.[/b]

Plenty of noted exclusion there as well

And corruption and financial mismanagement, which is why they are under investigation. Ask to see their books!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I think the poster made clear that they were talking about Chinese people - not all Asians. Are you providing this opinion from the perspective of a parent of a Black child in MCPS? Or are you part of another demographic and are just “piping in” to give your opinion about something you don’t know anything about? I think it’s so weird when a poster asks a specific subset of people about a particular experience and people who aren’t part of this subset respond to provide their uninformed opinion. Like, how would you even know???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I agree with the PP and had expressed a similar view earlier. Asian Americans are insular as are Chinese immigrants. Asian Americans are the loudest ones who don’t want to be mixed in with who they regard as the poors (look at the Crown thread).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I agree with the PP and had expressed a similar view earlier. Asian Americans are insular as are Chinese immigrants. Asian Americans are the loudest ones who don’t want to be mixed in with who they regard as the poors (look at the Crown thread).

#facts - the group that is the most opposed and yet can’t speak English well enough to articulate it properly but still has the nerve to look down on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I agree with the PP and had expressed a similar view earlier. Asian Americans are insular as are Chinese immigrants. Asian Americans are the loudest ones who don’t want to be mixed in with who they regard as the poors (look at the Crown thread).

#facts - the group that is the most opposed and yet can’t speak English well enough to articulate it properly but still has the nerve to look down on others.

😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t let race color (no pun intended) your decision. Why? Because it’s immutable. Maybe it’s my NY upbringing, but I am at the point of take me or leave me. I harmoniously went to school with just about every race/ethnicity/culture known to man. The answers to your questions really depend on what you prioritize, your goals, your values, your background, etc. Don’t let something like race block you or your family’s access to anything. I feel like we build (or we allow others to build) these narratives in our heads that block us from staking claim on things we are also entitled to. I would be analyzing each school’s (in the cluster) academic record, look at your future neighborhood, your home features, your commute. With hindsight being 20/20, have some private school backup options.

When we first moved to Moco, my kids were each one of very few Blacks in a W cluster. Mostly because we raised them to be good humans and to be aware of but to not operate in any of the -isms, they went on to have all types of friends of different races and genders. The teachers and staff loved them like their own. The experience wasn’t all daisies and dandelions and you do need to check some folk without delay. For the most part, they had a great experience. Don’t know what the current landscape looks like and I know the exclusions happen. But don’t assume or be deterred by it. Again, have plan B ready. Whatever it is, get there and add 2 more datapoints to the statistics.

"I don't see color"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t let race color (no pun intended) your decision. Why? Because it’s immutable. Maybe it’s my NY upbringing, but I am at the point of take me or leave me. I harmoniously went to school with just about every race/ethnicity/culture known to man. The answers to your questions really depend on what you prioritize, your goals, your values, your background, etc. Don’t let something like race block you or your family’s access to anything. I feel like we build (or we allow others to build) these narratives in our heads that block us from staking claim on things we are also entitled to. I would be analyzing each school’s (in the cluster) academic record, look at your future neighborhood, your home features, your commute. With hindsight being 20/20, have some private school backup options.

When we first moved to Moco, my kids were each one of very few Blacks in a W cluster. Mostly because we raised them to be good humans and to be aware of but to not operate in any of the -isms, they went on to have all types of friends of different races and genders. The teachers and staff loved them like their own. The experience wasn’t all daisies and dandelions and you do need to check some folk without delay. For the most part, they had a great experience. Don’t know what the current landscape looks like and I know the exclusions happen. But don’t assume or be deterred by it. Again, have plan B ready. Whatever it is, get there and add 2 more datapoints to the statistics.

"I don't see color"

NP

Read the PP again, it is not what you think it is

[Anonymous]

OP, you'll get much better feedback if you just named the schools. Those of us who know MCPS well have a good idea on what the schools are like and will be able to provide you with better insight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t let race color (no pun intended) your decision. Why? Because it’s immutable. Maybe it’s my NY upbringing, but I am at the point of take me or leave me. I harmoniously went to school with just about every race/ethnicity/culture known to man. The answers to your questions really depend on what you prioritize, your goals, your values, your background, etc. Don’t let something like race block you or your family’s access to anything. I feel like we build (or we allow others to build) these narratives in our heads that block us from staking claim on things we are also entitled to. I would be analyzing each school’s (in the cluster) academic record, look at your future neighborhood, your home features, your commute. With hindsight being 20/20, have some private school backup options.

When we first moved to Moco, my kids were each one of very few Blacks in a W cluster. Mostly because we raised them to be good humans and to be aware of but to not operate in any of the -isms, they went on to have all types of friends of different races and genders. The teachers and staff loved them like their own. The experience wasn’t all daisies and dandelions and you do need to check some folk without delay. For the most part, they had a great experience. Don’t know what the current landscape looks like and I know the exclusions happen. But don’t assume or be deterred by it. Again, have plan B ready. Whatever it is, get there and add 2 more datapoints to the statistics.

"I don't see color"

Lol, no I don’t, but I think we see each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I think the poster made clear that they were talking about Chinese people - not all Asians. Are you providing this opinion from the perspective of a parent of a Black child in MCPS? Or are you part of another demographic and are just “piping in” to give your opinion about something you don’t know anything about? I think it’s so weird when a poster asks a specific subset of people about a particular experience and people who aren’t part of this subset respond to provide their uninformed opinion. Like, how would you even know???

Wonder how this type of comment would play out for other demographics...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if Asians (Chinese) are the majority at the school, keep in mind they can be very insular, meaning they only socialize with one another. That can make a Black child feel very isolated, i.e. , they may not be invited to play dates and birthday parties, etc. And even though Asians are enrolled in ELA programs at high numbers in the 20878 zip code, they will still think they are superior to your child. For example, in a lot of the debates about the re-zoning of Wootton to include more Black and Brown kids, it is predominantly Asians (with limited English proficiency) who are pushing the narrative that this is going to bring down Wootton’s reputation. Additionally, the Asian community has filed a very weak civil rights complaint under this Trump administration over the boundary study. Also, note the same community is who sued to overturn affirmative action.

I give you this info so you know exactly what you are walking into. Good luck.

Asian is not synonymous with Chinese. There are a lot of recent Chinese immigrants specifically from the mainland in some neighborhoods and those communities can be quite insular but many other areas have a huge diversity in Asian-American parents who were born in the States are the 2nd or 3rd or more generations in the U.S. There's really no insular culture I've observed with Asian-American families.

I think the poster made clear that they were talking about Chinese people - not all Asians. Are you providing this opinion from the perspective of a parent of a Black child in MCPS? Or are you part of another demographic and are just “piping in” to give your opinion about something you don’t know anything about? I think it’s so weird when a poster asks a specific subset of people about a particular experience and people who aren’t part of this subset respond to provide their uninformed opinion. Like, how would you even know???

Wonder how this type of comment would play out for other demographics...

No. I don’t worry about how this would play out for other demographics because I’m educated on racial history and understand where OP is coming from. You don’t think the Black experience in this country warrants a parent asking about what other Black families’ have experienced in MCPS?

And funny how you didn’t make the same comment on the thread where a white parent was asking what it was like to go to a predominantly Latino school. 🤔

[Anonymous]

"I don't see color"

NP

Read the PP again, it is not what you think it is


It is a statement that would please a white person who says that they don't see color.