Cutting off family members- children question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we need to know what she thinks they did, and if you believe her.

+1

It certainly sounds like a case where she’s majorly overreacting. But in case you haven’t already, I’d definitely hear here out.

Assuming either your mom is in the wrong, or your extended family is in the wrong but cutting them off is an overreaction, I think you tell your mom, “Look, I’ve heard you out and I understand why you’re upset. But this is not egregious enough behavior that I’m willing to cut them off. If you want to do that, that’s up to you, but they’re the only extended family I have, and I’m going to continue to see them. I don’t want to upset you or reopen fresh wounds. Would you prefer if I didn’t mention these trips to you?”

And anytime she asks you ANY questions about them, you say “if you want to catch up with them, you should reach out and end this estrangement. I will not be a go-between.

If she DOES have a good point, and they did treat her really poorly, you’ll have more information and can re-evaluate your decision to stay in contact with them.

Based on what?

NP here. OP said it was an argument over eldercare. I am hard pressed to think of an eldercare situation where not only would OP's mother be justified in cutting off her family (although that's her decision), but also feeling justified in being upset that OP didn't cut them off as well. So, I agree with the PP - it seems like Op's mother is overreacting.