No neighborhood friends for the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to a county-wide lottery school in Arlington. Kids are from all over the county so my kids don't have "neighborhood friends" either. Most of their friends live 10-20 minutes away by car, and we have play dates with them often. Plus my kids spend time with their friends at after-school care and weekend sports. So I never find it an issue; in fact it's nice for us (parents) to get to know other families from all over the county.

There are plenty of kids in my neighborhood and I see them playing in the neighborhood. It's very nice, but I don't think my kids are missing out much. They have quite a busy social life (sports, after-school care, weekend play dates and birthday parties) with their friends from their lottery school.

It'll be OK as long as you think your kids' friends will be living within 10-20 minutes by car. I can't speak for older kids, but I find it totally cool with my elementary school kids.

You didn’t grow up in a neighborhood full of kids that all played together, right? Don’t know what you missed.

Lol, the world is not the same as when you grew up 30-50 years ago. It's no longer common to let kids roam around freely even in neighborhood full of kids. From what I can see, nowadays parents would accompany their kids (under 10) even when going to play dates just a few blocks away. So it's essentially no different from driving to a play date 10-20 minutes away. Also kids in DMV area nowadays have way more extracurricular activities than average kids 30-50 years ago, which also significantly limit their time of hanging out with neighborhood kids.

Where I am (not DMV) kids still do play outside all the time and people are not too intense about activities. So moving to a kid friendly neighborhood was a huge bonus and made social life for them very easy, no need for playdates. It also helps to have nearby things to bike to like a nice park. My kids are young adults now but still talk to their friends, see them when they come home. There is a decent amount of turnover and I'm sure we will be part of it some day too and make room for younger families.

I understand your perspective from a non-DMV area. However this is a DMV based forum and most people's experience are also DMV based. Around DMV, cars drive residential neighborhoods at high speed all the time. Drivers living in the same neighborhood (which is probably the majority at where you live) usually are more cautious and would slow down and yield to walkers/kids. However, Uber drivers, DoorDashers and commuters who are cutting through residential neighborhoods are way less considerate and would speed through. I wouldn't feel safe letting my kids under 10 to even walk a few blocks by themselves. I don't see other people's kids doing it either. The youngest kids I've seen walking unaccompanied are 10+. I know it's a different environment from where you live and how you and your kids grew up, but that's the reality in most areas near DC.

I’m in a Fairfax county neighborhood with sidewalks and trails and lots of kids walk and bike around the neighborhood.

Have your kids meet their friends this way? walking and biking around the neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a neighborhood pool? Join the pool and swim team if there is one your kids can walk to. It’s how you will meet all the neighborhood kids.

Sure.

Checks pool waitlist.

Ok at least we’ll be members in 15 years when my kids are adults.

1. You made the choice not to join the pool when you bought your house (we joined the waitlist when we moved, before we had kids and got in the summer before my first one started kindergarten 7 years later).
2. You made the choice not to move further out to the land of HOAs with pools.
3. Ask your kids to ask their friends for their parents phone numbers and set up playdates. That's how your kids make friends. Bonus if you ask them to ask about friends who are on their bus. Those kids live close to you.

FYA the waitlists are up to 12-15 years in Arlington. You can get on it before you’re pregnant or even close on the house and not get off until your oldest is in high school.

What is this magical land of HOAs with pools in nova? Do you even live here?

There are tons of HOAs in Fairfax county (~30 mins drive to DC) with pools. Even the cheaper HOAs (~$100/mo HOA fees) have pools.

[Anonymous]

We have the neighborhood you want and it's great, but it's only a few years that it's really beneficial. As we march towards middle school the kids get very opinionated about who they spend time with.

Think about yourself and how many friends you have purely based on convenience? Good friends are worth traveling for and if your kids are in school and sports you'll be fine. This is definitely not worth considering a move, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to a county-wide lottery school in Arlington. Kids are from all over the county so my kids don't have "neighborhood friends" either. Most of their friends live 10-20 minutes away by car, and we have play dates with them often. Plus my kids spend time with their friends at after-school care and weekend sports. So I never find it an issue; in fact it's nice for us (parents) to get to know other families from all over the county.

There are plenty of kids in my neighborhood and I see them playing in the neighborhood. It's very nice, but I don't think my kids are missing out much. They have quite a busy social life (sports, after-school care, weekend play dates and birthday parties) with their friends from their lottery school.

It'll be OK as long as you think your kids' friends will be living within 10-20 minutes by car. I can't speak for older kids, but I find it totally cool with my elementary school kids.

You didn’t grow up in a neighborhood full of kids that all played together, right? Don’t know what you missed.

Lol, the world is not the same as when you grew up 30-50 years ago. It's no longer common to let kids roam around freely even in neighborhood full of kids. From what I can see, nowadays parents would accompany their kids (under 10) even when going to play dates just a few blocks away. So it's essentially no different from driving to a play date 10-20 minutes away. Also kids in DMV area nowadays have way more extracurricular activities than average kids 30-50 years ago, which also significantly limit their time of hanging out with neighborhood kids.

Where I am (not DMV) kids still do play outside all the time and people are not too intense about activities. So moving to a kid friendly neighborhood was a huge bonus and made social life for them very easy, no need for playdates. It also helps to have nearby things to bike to like a nice park. My kids are young adults now but still talk to their friends, see them when they come home. There is a decent amount of turnover and I'm sure we will be part of it some day too and make room for younger families.

I understand your perspective from a non-DMV area. However this is a DMV based forum and most people's experience are also DMV based. Around DMV, cars drive residential neighborhoods at high speed all the time. Drivers living in the same neighborhood (which is probably the majority at where you live) usually are more cautious and would slow down and yield to walkers/kids. However, Uber drivers, DoorDashers and commuters who are cutting through residential neighborhoods are way less considerate and would speed through. I wouldn't feel safe letting my kids under 10 to even walk a few blocks by themselves. I don't see other people's kids doing it either. The youngest kids I've seen walking unaccompanied are 10+. I know it's a different environment from where you live and how you and your kids grew up, but that's the reality in most areas near DC.

I’m in a Fairfax county neighborhood with sidewalks and trails and lots of kids walk and bike around the neighborhood.

Have your kids meet their friends this way? walking and biking around the neighborhood?

DP but yes, mine do (wondering if PP and I both live in Burke).

I don't think it's necessary for OP to stress about neighborhood friends--her kids will be fine--but I'm grateful for the neighborhood friends my own kids do have.

[Anonymous]

Some non-22207 N Arlington has this (Westover, Bluemont, Dominion Hills, EFC, etc). Notably they’re all areas close to bike trails, have tons of parks nearby, and are (relatively!!) more affordable vs the “north north.” IMO the trails make a HUGE difference because it gives kids a safe space to ride their bikes and they can easily access parks adjacent to the trails.

[Anonymous]

Your best bet is a townhouse community with a common playground space and sports courts/fields, pool, etc. To create a critical mass of kids forced to share common amenities to increase the probability of meeting friends you need density. Especially for older kids. SFH neighborhoods do not provide this, they do not force kids to go to public playgrounds and courts to play because a lot of SFHs have their own yards and play equipment. Many kids do after school activities and sports too, which takes them outside of their neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Faced with the same dilemma as OP, if kids didn't go to elementary schools here, things are tough. For older kids we simply don't have much to do outside of their homes except for the organized sports/activities requiring parental involvement. It would be awesome if there were more community gyms affordable and friendly to teens, courts indoors and outdoors to play various sports without hefty memberships or having to join a team, but our communities are not organized this way seems like even in inner belt dense suburbia or the city. Or am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I would. it live in a neighborhood like that no matter how much i lived the house. My kids are now 16 and 19 and they still have friend from preschool in our neighborhood. They grew up with a very strong sense of community and roots. Their childhoods were spent outside making diets in the woods, getting dirty in the creek and roaming around in their “scooter gangs”. Snow days were and still are spent outside on the neighborhood hill with 50 other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to a county-wide lottery school in Arlington. Kids are from all over the county so my kids don't have "neighborhood friends" either. Most of their friends live 10-20 minutes away by car, and we have play dates with them often. Plus my kids spend time with their friends at after-school care and weekend sports. So I never find it an issue; in fact it's nice for us (parents) to get to know other families from all over the county.

There are plenty of kids in my neighborhood and I see them playing in the neighborhood. It's very nice, but I don't think my kids are missing out much. They have quite a busy social life (sports, after-school care, weekend play dates and birthday parties) with their friends from their lottery school.

It'll be OK as long as you think your kids' friends will be living within 10-20 minutes by car. I can't speak for older kids, but I find it totally cool with my elementary school kids.

You didn’t grow up in a neighborhood full of kids that all played together, right? Don’t know what you missed.

Lol, the world is not the same as when you grew up 30-50 years ago. It's no longer common to let kids roam around freely even in neighborhood full of kids. From what I can see, nowadays parents would accompany their kids (under 10) even when going to play dates just a few blocks away. So it's essentially no different from driving to a play date 10-20 minutes away. Also kids in DMV area nowadays have way more extracurricular activities than average kids 30-50 years ago, which also significantly limit their time of hanging out with neighborhood kids.

Where I am (not DMV) kids still do play outside all the time and people are not too intense about activities. So moving to a kid friendly neighborhood was a huge bonus and made social life for them very easy, no need for playdates. It also helps to have nearby things to bike to like a nice park. My kids are young adults now but still talk to their friends, see them when they come home. There is a decent amount of turnover and I'm sure we will be part of it some day too and make room for younger families.

I understand your perspective from a non-DMV area. However this is a DMV based forum and most people's experience are also DMV based. Around DMV, cars drive residential neighborhoods at high speed all the time. Drivers living in the same neighborhood (which is probably the majority at where you live) usually are more cautious and would slow down and yield to walkers/kids. However, Uber drivers, DoorDashers and commuters who are cutting through residential neighborhoods are way less considerate and would speed through. I wouldn't feel safe letting my kids under 10 to even walk a few blocks by themselves. I don't see other people's kids doing it either. The youngest kids I've seen walking unaccompanied are 10+. I know it's a different environment from where you live and how you and your kids grew up, but that's the reality in most areas near DC.

I’m in a Fairfax county neighborhood with sidewalks and trails and lots of kids walk and bike around the neighborhood.

Have your kids meet their friends this way? walking and biking around the neighborhood?

Yes. They have met kids that they then played with at the playgrounds or at the pool and became friends with. It doesn't happen instantaneously, but they keep seeing the same kids over and over again and become friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a neighborhood pool? Join the pool and swim team if there is one your kids can walk to. It’s how you will meet all the neighborhood kids.

Sure.

Checks pool waitlist.

Ok at least we’ll be members in 15 years when my kids are adults.

1. You made the choice not to join the pool when you bought your house (we joined the waitlist when we moved, before we had kids and got in the summer before my first one started kindergarten 7 years later).
2. You made the choice not to move further out to the land of HOAs with pools.
3. Ask your kids to ask their friends for their parents phone numbers and set up playdates. That's how your kids make friends. Bonus if you ask them to ask about friends who are on their bus. Those kids live close to you.

FYA the waitlists are up to 12-15 years in Arlington. You can get on it before you’re pregnant or even close on the house and not get off until your oldest is in high school.

What is this magical land of HOAs with pools in nova? Do you even live here?

The magical land is a place called Fairfax County. Almost all the NVSL pools in Fairfax county have no waitlist or very short waitlists. Some of the pools are run by HOAs or some are just in the neighborhoods and open to whomever wants to join. But there are huge sections of Fairfax County where the neighborhoods have great schools, sidewalks, and neighborhood pools with no waitlist. Look at the communities zoned for Woodson, West Springfield, Lake Braddock and Robinson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a neighborhood pool? Join the pool and swim team if there is one your kids can walk to. It’s how you will meet all the neighborhood kids.

Sure.

Checks pool waitlist.

Ok at least we’ll be members in 15 years when my kids are adults.

1. You made the choice not to join the pool when you bought your house (we joined the waitlist when we moved, before we had kids and got in the summer before my first one started kindergarten 7 years later).
2. You made the choice not to move further out to the land of HOAs with pools.
3. Ask your kids to ask their friends for their parents phone numbers and set up playdates. That's how your kids make friends. Bonus if you ask them to ask about friends who are on their bus. Those kids live close to you.

FYA the waitlists are up to 12-15 years in Arlington. You can get on it before you’re pregnant or even close on the house and not get off until your oldest is in high school.

What is this magical land of HOAs with pools in nova? Do you even live here?

The magical land is a place called Fairfax County. Almost all the NVSL pools in Fairfax county have no waitlist or very short waitlists. Some of the pools are run by HOAs or some are just in the neighborhoods and open to whomever wants to join. But there are huge sections of Fairfax County where the neighborhoods have great schools, sidewalks, and neighborhood pools with no waitlist. Look at the communities zoned for Woodson, West Springfield, Lake Braddock and Robinson.

Enjoy your rush hour commute but hey at least there’s no pool waitlist