Would you break up over no recognition of Valentine's Day?

[Anonymous]

I would not break up over V-Day or Steak-and-BJ Day (Mar 14).

Your price is your price. It's a free market.

[Anonymous]

This would not bother me. My DH and I have literally exchanged high-fives as a full and complete celebration of an anniversary. If Valentine’s Day is important to you, you should have talked about it a few weeks in advance.

So no, I wouldn’t break up with a guy over this. The fact that you went there is mind-blowing to me. Absolutely insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No plans made or talked about. I feel like it's a bad idea to stay with someone who just does not care. I have mentioned that it's something that is important to me and that it is coming up a few times. In early 40s, both divorced, dating about 11 months.

OP, you posted this two days before Valentine's Day. If you are looking for a reason to break up with this person, then do it and get it over with. You are not a child, but are acting like one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

Some people don't like holidays. My BF is one of those people. But he knows I like Christmas, so he is willing to do some Christmas-y things with me. He is working Sat night, but said we could do brunch for VD. I think the fact that they don't seem to care about things that you like, or compromise on, says everything you need to know.

[Anonymous]

This is so stupid and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

How can this be? You don’t sound like you’re in a relationship at all. Like what the heck? Wake up OP.

OP, are you sure he is single?! Maybe he's married or you are the side piece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is early 40s and he's pumped for valentines. He booked a waterfront hotel for the 15th, and I'm getting us dinner. (Have our kids on actual valentines, then they go to Co parents) Got him a card and chocolate. I don't care about gifts but the experience is important.

We are in our 50s and are going to brunch and exchanging cards. I don't see anything wrong with having a cute time together in boring winter month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been happily married for twenty years and we've never celebrated Valentine's Day once. It's a silly expectation.

For YOU. Other people are different, believe it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If something is important to you, and it's been communicated, personally I'd give (in my head) one last chance and if they do anything else likely move on.
-person where V Day not important but what's important is it's important to 'you' and you communicated it

+1
I would have given up by now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would not bother me. My DH and I have literally exchanged high-fives as a full and complete celebration of an anniversary. If Valentine’s Day is important to you, you should have talked about it a few weeks in advance.

So no, I wouldn’t break up with a guy over this. The fact that you went there is mind-blowing to me. Absolutely insane.

Last September, DH and I learned that the 31st wedding anniversary is the one you both forget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse 'forgot' a milestone anniversary this year. He remembered the kids' Valentine's Day gifts but deliberately did nothing for me. We've had a rough go for years, but this was petty, even for him - no thought about how it will impact how our son treats his future wife, or how our daughter thinks she should be treated in a marriage. On days like Valentine's Day, I can almost see why people cheat - it would be nice to be seen and appreciated - but no way I'm letting that be the narrative for the breakup of our family. Since we are still married, I'm going to go spend some of our money on a diamond bracelet tomorrow. I can't believe I'm 40 years old and have never done something like that for myself!

You should divorce.

You are bitter, and not modeling a healthy love for your children either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should break up with a partner who ignores your clearly expressed needs.
It's not about Valentine's Day. It's about you clearly communicating a need and him ignoring it. I'm of the opinion that partners should do their best to meet reasonable requests. And celebrating Valentine's Day is reasonable. I'm not super into myself but nothing wrong with it if you are to don't let other posters shame you for it.
But the bigger issue is it seems like you have to beg him for attention and time and you shouldn't need to do that it also seems he has no interest in incorporating you into his life break up with him for that you want to be with a guy who wants to be with you who you don't have to beg for time and wants to do things that make you smile.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You decide what is important to you.

Valentine's Day is not important to me and would not be important to anyone I would want to be with in my 40s.

If it is important to you, you could say, "I would really like to do something to celebrate Valentine's Day with you. Here are a couple of ideas... what do you think of them?" And suggest things you would both like to do.

This. And acknowledge that you just may not be compatible. I'm like the PP, I couldn't care less about Valentine's Day, but if it's important to you, then you should be with someone who feels the same way. Just be aware that plenty of us do not care so that's not a fair expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been happily married for twenty years and we've never celebrated Valentine's Day once. It's a silly expectation.

For YOU. Other people are different, believe it or not.

It doesn’t make their feelings valid. Especially if they’re into insipid shit like this.

[Anonymous]

No but if the relationship was already failing it might be the last straw.