Would you break up over no recognition of Valentine's Day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

He's just not that into you. Read the book and your life will be much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No plans made or talked about. I feel like it's a bad idea to stay with someone who just does not care. I have mentioned that it's something that is important to me and that it is coming up a few times. In early 40s, both divorced, dating about 11 months.

Since this is important to you, are you planning something and did you buy a gift for him? Equality us a two way street.

[Anonymous]

No. That's laughable.

[Anonymous]

I think I would if dating in my teens or twenties but not as mature adults who went through it all and know that if these things meant something, you two wouldn't be divorced to begin with.

[Anonymous]

I would give him a wheel of gourmet cheese because you are a cheeseball.

[Anonymous]

The Thanksgiving to Christmas holiday thing would bother me more.

[Anonymous]

This relationship would already be over.

[Anonymous]

If you’ve communicated the importance.. Yes

[Anonymous]

I would end this relationship, not over valentine's day but it sounds like he's not interested in anything serious, having avoiding all the other holidays with no real reason AND you've expressed that you want to mark the day. Even if a guy things V day is stupid, if he's in a relatively new relationship and wants more, he will do something.

[Anonymous]

Reposting from another thread because I think it's well written and applies here.

"I figured out a long time ago that the reason our marriage works is because we both truly want the other person to be happy, so we listen when someone expresses their feelings about something. There are things we do for each other because we love each other, not because we want to do them. For example, if I want to host a party, he will help with all the cleaning, organizing, shopping, cooking, etc. Not because he wants to, but because he knows it means something to me.

If you're at the point where your spouse doesn't want to do anything for you because they don't care about you, then it's over. I don't know how you come back from that. At the very core of a good relationship is caring about the other person and their feelings and needs, even if, or especially if, they're different than yours. If you don't have that, you have nothing. So it's a dead end."

[Anonymous]

😭

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

When people break up over valentines day, it's never over just the day. It's because of this pattern. He's shown you that he doesn't value you or think you're important. Valentines day won't change the pattern, nor will it make him cherish the person you are more.

You're already divorced, why on earth are you still putting up with subpar treatment? Being alone is better than being lonely in a relationship.

Look up the burned haystack method, good luck on your next dating adventure

[Anonymous]

This is why I am glad that I am single and not looking in my 40s. What is it with women that you have to endlessly show them that you love them? It's exhausting

[Anonymous]

Do not walk into Wegmans. V-day threw-up all over the store. It's actually really nauseating. No, I don't want overpriced chocolate covered strawberries. They look super sweet and gross. Sorry not sorry. All I want is take out Thai food and to watch Netflix next to a roaring fireplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No plans made or talked about. I feel like it's a bad idea to stay with someone who just does not care. I have mentioned that it's something that is important to me and that it is coming up a few times. In early 40s, both divorced, dating about 11 months.

Why can't you plan something? My husand and I haven't talked about it or gotten gifts. No, I don't care as I'd never go out Valentines day due to the price increases.