I think it's time to end it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd end it. You're hurting him if you feel that way. At 60 he's not totally over the hill and might have a chance of finding a better life partner if you end it now.

She on the other hand, at 54, is unlikely to find one.

Ha ha you must be under 35. 54 is not old lolol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd end it. You're hurting him if you feel that way. At 60 he's not totally over the hill and might have a chance of finding a better life partner if you end it now.

She on the other hand, at 54, is unlikely to find one.

Did you read the OP? She doesn’t care. She would rather watch tv.

Honestly, more power to her.

This is so short-sighted. Who will she hang out with when friends are busy? When her kids stop coming home? Who can she trust who will help her when she has a health problem? There is a lot to be said for a medium guy who is devoted and trustworthy.

No! I'm married to a medium guy who is devoted and trustworthy but I wouldn't have married him if he'd started out that way. Hold out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because he might like to remarry doesn't mean you have to. It also doesn't mean you have to end it. Enjoy your 1-2 nights a week together, and then ... enjoy your Bridgerton.

I think it sounds wonderful.

Here's what I think.

Men want to get married again so they can reduce their mental (and emotional) load. Women don't want to get married again so they won't increase their mental and emotional load. And housekeeping load.

My grandmother had a boyfriend for 20-30 years after my grandfather died. Her beau wanted to marry, but she said no thank you. But they stayed together, saw each other, had companionship. But she wasn't doing his laundry or cooking his dinner!

Be who you want to be. Do not be pressured into HIS needs and wishes at the expense of your own.

Your thinking is wrong and invalid. Men today do their own laundry and cook. Get with the times.

My bf does these things, yes. But there is still an imbalance of need. He definitely needs me more than I do him and it can feel draining. We are in our 50s.

Late 40s woman here. I left a long term BF over that recently. Yes, he was keeping his place tidy but he would present it to me as some sort of achievement. I won’t even consider it worth mentioning to my BF how and when I clean my house. He, on the opposite, would elaborate and on one occasion invited me to come over help him clean his place. F..k it ! He was also emotionally needy, always talking about his problems and stuff and not overly concerned about mine. As if I had no problems in life whatsoever. It was all about him, his needs, his achievements.

That gets tiring after divorce after years of this BS from exH. You see that right though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because he might like to remarry doesn't mean you have to. It also doesn't mean you have to end it. Enjoy your 1-2 nights a week together, and then ... enjoy your Bridgerton.

I think it sounds wonderful.

Here's what I think.

Men want to get married again so they can reduce their mental (and emotional) load. Women don't want to get married again so they won't increase their mental and emotional load. And housekeeping load.

My grandmother had a boyfriend for 20-30 years after my grandfather died. Her beau wanted to marry, but she said no thank you. But they stayed together, saw each other, had companionship. But she wasn't doing his laundry or cooking his dinner!

Be who you want to be. Do not be pressured into HIS needs and wishes at the expense of your own.

Your thinking is wrong and invalid. Men today do their own laundry and cook. Get with the times.

Not men in their sixties who had SAHWs for decades before divorce or death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because he might like to remarry doesn't mean you have to. It also doesn't mean you have to end it. Enjoy your 1-2 nights a week together, and then ... enjoy your Bridgerton.

I think it sounds wonderful.

Here's what I think.

Men want to get married again so they can reduce their mental (and emotional) load. Women don't want to get married again so they won't increase their mental and emotional load. And housekeeping load.

My grandmother had a boyfriend for 20-30 years after my grandfather died. Her beau wanted to marry, but she said no thank you. But they stayed together, saw each other, had companionship. But she wasn't doing his laundry or cooking his dinner!

Be who you want to be. Do not be pressured into HIS needs and wishes at the expense of your own.

Your thinking is wrong and invalid. Men today do their own laundry and cook. Get with the times.

Not men in their sixties who had SAHWs for decades before divorce or death

My thinking is not wrong and invalid. My thinking is 100%. Yes, men cook and clean more than they ever did before - I'm not debating that. But you put men and women together in a house and studies show (don't ask me to cite them - the studies are out there, go find them) that women consistently do MORE housework. MORE child/elder care. MORE emotional load. More MENTAL load.

Which is why you will find more (not all) divorced/widowed men looking to marry again and more (not all) divorced/widowed women looking for companionship 1-2 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Op, please end it or get married. You shouldn’t be having sex on f you are not married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 54 and he's 60. For both of us, the kids are out of the house. We each own our homes outright and have similar assets in retirement. We are both still working and we both have flexible jobs. We enjoy similar activities and the sex is good. We've been dating for 15mo and each have met the others children. Sounds perfect --right?

Given the choice of hanging out with him or being curled up on my couch with a book or watching Bridgerton, I'd always pick the later. We see each other 1-2x during the week and at least one day/night on the weekend. He'd like to remarry, I'm ambivalent about it but he's also not pushing it at the moment. When we're together we have fun and I enjoy it. But I really enjoy just doing my own thing in my own house. He doesn't like Bridgeton and I feel weird watching it with him--not because of the content but because I know he thinks its insipid. I'm not making a relationship decision based on Bridgerton, but I am considering how I feel when I watch it with him and am wondering why I feel like this. I know people are going to come back with "you're just not into him"---maybe that's true but then what else do I need/want? On paper, our relationship checks all the boxes.

I can't answer your big question because only you can, but I will say that I watch silly stuff on Bravo some nights to unwind and my husband does NOT watch that with me, nor do I want him to. So it's ok to live together and still do things separately. I don't know if that helps or not, it sounds like you have a good thing going right now, but if you are picking being alone versus being with him all the time, then yeah, I'd end it. Just because it SEEMS perfect doesn't mean it feels that way to you. And that's ok!

[Anonymous]

I think you asking this question and him thinking about marriage means you should end it.