I think it's time to end it

[Anonymous]

I'm 54 and he's 60. For both of us, the kids are out of the house. We each own our homes outright and have similar assets in retirement. We are both still working and we both have flexible jobs. We enjoy similar activities and the sex is good. We've been dating for 15mo and each have met the others children. Sounds perfect --right?

Given the choice of hanging out with him or being curled up on my couch with a book or watching Bridgerton, I'd always pick the later. We see each other 1-2x during the week and at least one day/night on the weekend. He'd like to remarry, I'm ambivalent about it but he's also not pushing it at the moment. When we're together we have fun and I enjoy it. But I really enjoy just doing my own thing in my own house. He doesn't like Bridgeton and I feel weird watching it with him--not because of the content but because I know he thinks its insipid. I'm not making a relationship decision based on Bridgerton, but I am considering how I feel when I watch it with him and am wondering why I feel like this. I know people are going to come back with "you're just not into him"---maybe that's true but then what else do I need/want? On paper, our relationship checks all the boxes.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you just don’t need that type of relationship anymore? Like, the sex can’t be that good for you if you would pick Bridgerton over it. My mother divorced and never had the slightest inclination to date ever again. And I think she’s perfectly happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you just don’t need that type of relationship anymore? Like, the sex can’t be that good for you if you would pick Bridgerton over it. My mother divorced and never had the slightest inclination to date ever again. And I think she’s perfectly happy.

Good sex does not make a relationship. We're happy that when we're together we go 2-3x rounds in an evening. It's fun, it's pleasurable but then it's over. And now it's time to read or watch tv.

[Anonymous]

There’s no shame in admitting you’re asexual, OP. Many women your age are. Just end it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no shame in admitting you’re asexual, OP. Many women your age are. Just end it.

Are you saying that because sex doesn't trump all else I am asexual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you just don’t need that type of relationship anymore? Like, the sex can’t be that good for you if you would pick Bridgerton over it. My mother divorced and never had the slightest inclination to date ever again. And I think she’s perfectly happy.

Good sex does not make a relationship. We're happy that when we're together we go 2-3x rounds in an evening. It's fun, it's pleasurable but then it's over. And now it's time to read or watch tv.

Is this op? Maybe the sex is good but not quite good enough. Again you sound like you are just not into him, and at your age, maybe not anyone?

[Anonymous]

fwb and companionship when you want it. No need to end it. If he wants to remarry, he will probably end it, and sounds like you won't be too heartbroken over it.

[Anonymous]

You're clearly not that into him, so why bother?

[Anonymous]

Given the choice of hanging out with him or being curled up on my couch with a book or watching Bridgerton, I'd always pick the later.

So spend your evenings on your couch if that's what you want.

If you need validation get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Definitely don’t remarry. You have kids. That would be a mess.
I’d transition to only fun dates once a week, not boring ones. Enjoy your time s as lone at home, and when bored, go out with him on a fancy date.

[Anonymous]

It seems the sex is bad. I will never pick a tv show over good sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:fwb and companionship when you want it. No need to end it. If he wants to remarry, he will probably end it, and sounds like you won't be too heartbroken over it.

I agree. You're happy and if he wants me, he has to end it. It almost reads like a gender reversal, which makes sense because later in life, women don't need men, so what's the point of disrupting your peace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems the sex is bad. I will never pick a tv show over good sex.

This is OP. So good sex should trump everything else? If it doesn’t, it’s not good? I can’t have sex all night and get up for work the next day. Or I should want sex with him so much that I can’t imagine anything better?

[Anonymous]

I'd end it. You're hurting him if you feel that way. At 60 he's not totally over the hill and might have a chance of finding a better life partner if you end it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems the sex is bad. I will never pick a tv show over good sex.

This is OP. So good sex should trump everything else? If it doesn’t, it’s not good? I can’t have sex all night and get up for work the next day. Or I should want sex with him so much that I can’t imagine anything better?

If you have to ask this question, explaining to you won't help.