I think it's time to end it

[Anonymous]

I think you are too old to do what you don't want to be doing. Set boundaries and if he doesn't like it, he can break up with you.

[Anonymous]

Bridgerton and any show is only what total 8 hours? It is ok for relationships to have it's ups and downs. Can you scale back some and then continue to do things together you do enjoy?

[Anonymous]

You’re not into him. End the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 54 and he's 60. For both of us, the kids are out of the house. We each own our homes outright and have similar assets in retirement. We are both still working and we both have flexible jobs. We enjoy similar activities and the sex is good. We've been dating for 15mo and each have met the others children. Sounds perfect --right?

Given the choice of hanging out with him or being curled up on my couch with a book or watching Bridgerton, I'd always pick the later. We see each other 1-2x during the week and at least one day/night on the weekend. He'd like to remarry, I'm ambivalent about it but he's also not pushing it at the moment. When we're together we have fun and I enjoy it. But I really enjoy just doing my own thing in my own house. He doesn't like Bridgeton and I feel weird watching it with him--not because of the content but because I know he thinks its insipid. I'm not making a relationship decision based on Bridgerton, but I am considering how I feel when I watch it with him and am wondering why I feel like this. I know people are going to come back with "you're just not into him"---maybe that's true but then what else do I need/want? On paper, our relationship checks all the boxes.

I don’t understand. You rewatch Bridgerton over and over and over? Would you prioritize this obsession over seeing anyone or is it just him?

My (new) wife and I are your age have shows we like the other does not. She had a hobby she likes to do solo. We take separate time for these things. That’s a normal thing couples do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:fwb and companionship when you want it. No need to end it. If he wants to remarry, he will probably end it, and sounds like you won't be too heartbroken over it.

I agree with this. Slowly make him a FWB.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if maybe you enjoy having someone to see 2-3x a week, but don't want to get married because you'll potentially lose a lot of yourself?

I think women feel the pressure to be available to a man 24/7 for his entertainment, and to stop watching their shows they enjoy in favor of shows he likes. It's not fun to live in a house with someone who hates your TV shows.

Is he making a lot of commentary on Bridgerton that bothers you? Like constantly criticizing it?

I had an xH who hated the "insipid" stuff I watched, yet he expected me to listen to him prattle on and on about the Godfather or Cormac McCarthy novels. That's a one-sided relationship, and it sucks. He should be showing interest in the things you like as well.

Could you stay in this relationship if you agreed marriage was off the table? Maybe you just need to have a conversation - let him know you don't want to get married so the pressure is off you, and he can decide for himself if he wants to stay or leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if maybe you enjoy having someone to see 2-3x a week, but don't want to get married because you'll potentially lose a lot of yourself?

I think women feel the pressure to be available to a man 24/7 for his entertainment, and to stop watching their shows they enjoy in favor of shows he likes. It's not fun to live in a house with someone who hates your TV shows.

Is he making a lot of commentary on Bridgerton that bothers you? Like constantly criticizing it?

I had an xH who hated the "insipid" stuff I watched, yet he expected me to listen to him prattle on and on about the Godfather or Cormac McCarthy novels. That's a one-sided relationship, and it sucks. He should be showing interest in the things you like as well.

Could you stay in this relationship if you agreed marriage was off the table? Maybe you just need to have a conversation - let him know you don't want to get married so the pressure is off you, and he can decide for himself if he wants to stay or leave.

You sound like a silly girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems the sex is bad. I will never pick a tv show over good sex.

This is OP. So good sex should trump everything else? If it doesn’t, it’s not good? I can’t have sex all night and get up for work the next day. Or I should want sex with him so much that I can’t imagine anything better?

If you have to ask this question, explaining to you won't help.

Try to explain this to me like I'm 5. I don't understand how sex is the center of all in a relationship. It is one component of it. But at 60, he needs help and he's been honest with me that if we didn't have sex, it would be okay with him. I'm the one who encouraged medication. To the person that wrote this---what are you going to do when you're 60 and things just don't work like they used to anymore? Yes, sex is nice, but that's just it--it nice; it's one aspect. There is nothing in my life that I always want to do---eating, sleeping, going to a concert, etc.

[Anonymous]

Are you saying you want to spend less time with him? Or you're happy with the current situation but don't want more? If it's the latter, I don't think you have to end it. Don't lie about your feelings and intentions. He might end it, if he's not happy with it, but that's his choice.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being in a committed relationship with someone and not living together if it works for both of you. My dad and his partner have been living happily this way for a decade. They came together in their late 50s and have their own homes and interests and this set up works for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying you want to spend less time with him? Or you're happy with the current situation but don't want more? If it's the latter, I don't think you have to end it. Don't lie about your feelings and intentions. He might end it, if he's not happy with it, but that's his choice.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being in a committed relationship with someone and not living together if it works for both of you. My dad and his partner have been living happily this way for a decade. They came together in their late 50s and have their own homes and interests and this set up works for them.

Maybe. As I think about it, I have a circle of friends that I enjoy spending time with and activities that I enjoy doing. Anytime I have free time and want to spend it doing something other than being with him he gets disappointed and it comes through. He doesn't have a large circle of friends or hobbies. In the summer months, he enjoys outdoor concerts with friends, but they don't do anything during the colder months. Maybe I just don't want to be someones "everything".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying you want to spend less time with him? Or you're happy with the current situation but don't want more? If it's the latter, I don't think you have to end it. Don't lie about your feelings and intentions. He might end it, if he's not happy with it, but that's his choice.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being in a committed relationship with someone and not living together if it works for both of you. My dad and his partner have been living happily this way for a decade. They came together in their late 50s and have their own homes and interests and this set up works for them.

Maybe. As I think about it, I have a circle of friends that I enjoy spending time with and activities that I enjoy doing. Anytime I have free time and want to spend it doing something other than being with him he gets disappointed and it comes through. He doesn't have a large circle of friends or hobbies. In the summer months, he enjoys outdoor concerts with friends, but they don't do anything during the colder months. Maybe I just don't want to be someones "everything".

Girl the way you write about him you are so “meh” about this poor guy. Your heart has moved on to Bridgerton and your head is trying to catch up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems the sex is bad. I will never pick a tv show over good sex.

This is OP. So good sex should trump everything else? If it doesn’t, it’s not good? I can’t have sex all night and get up for work the next day. Or I should want sex with him so much that I can’t imagine anything better?

If you have to ask this question, explaining to you won't help.

Try to explain this to me like I'm 5. I don't understand how sex is the center of all in a relationship. It is one component of it. But at 60, he needs help and he's been honest with me that if we didn't have sex, it would be okay with him. I'm the one who encouraged medication. To the person that wrote this---what are you going to do when you're 60 and things just don't work like they used to anymore? Yes, sex is nice, but that's just it--it nice; it's one aspect. There is nothing in my life that I always want to do---eating, sleeping, going to a concert, etc.

I am a different pp but the way I imagine it is if I were in my 50s and I wasn’t REALLY enjoying what a man brings to the table (especially sex), I would fill my life with my kids, friends, family, hobbies, and pets. I don’t have time for a guy I feel meh about.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he’s a sulker which can be hard to deal with. If you enjoy it but want to end it this early. just cut it off but know it’s going to hurt, he’ll probably block you, and you’ll have regrets. Stick to your guns though because he’s not the one for you nor you for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying you want to spend less time with him? Or you're happy with the current situation but don't want more? If it's the latter, I don't think you have to end it. Don't lie about your feelings and intentions. He might end it, if he's not happy with it, but that's his choice.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being in a committed relationship with someone and not living together if it works for both of you. My dad and his partner have been living happily this way for a decade. They came together in their late 50s and have their own homes and interests and this set up works for them.

Maybe. As I think about it, I have a circle of friends that I enjoy spending time with and activities that I enjoy doing. Anytime I have free time and want to spend it doing something other than being with him he gets disappointed and it comes through. He doesn't have a large circle of friends or hobbies. In the summer months, he enjoys outdoor concerts with friends, but they don't do anything during the colder months. Maybe I just don't want to be someones "everything".

Girl the way you write about him you are so “meh” about this poor guy. Your heart has moved on to Bridgerton and your head is trying to catch up.

It’s pretty brutal. You owe it to him to end it.

[Anonymous]

End it then
He’s not your husband