What consequences for a disrespectful kid?

[Anonymous]

Here’s how this would have played out in my house;

I go in to wake up kid, kid screams at me (well, that wouldn’t have happened but let’s pretend)
Me, calm voice: that is absolutely not how you speak to others. Get up and we’ll discuss it later. (Take phone call)
Later: what was that about? (Actually listen for answer, discuss). “Regardless, it’s never okay that you speak to someone like that, and clearly you are not getting enough sleep if you cannot get up by 11. For next two weeks you’ll be plugging your phone in in my room at 9pm. If you’ve been treating others respectfully until then we can discuss making a change. (Then ignore any histrionics, go about my day)

Exception: if she told me something like she was up really late due to friend or boyfriend drama etc and was clearly upset I’d be somewhat sympathetic and still emphasize it was not okay how she acted but maybe give a second chance (but be strict about enforcing that second chance)

Clearly this kid is treating you like you treat her. You need to model how to be a decent human.

If kid continued to slam doors and scream at me I would not be against taking door away, but it would not be a yelled threat in the moment. It would be a calm discussion, warning, discussion, door taken away + clear path for them to earn it back.

[Anonymous]

We have our oldest get up by 8:30 am on weekends now. We have found that sleeping in actually makes him groggier. He also gets a good start on homework in the morning so he can have the afternoons free. It works out well.

[Anonymous]

Op I came down hard on you about the yelling and I want to apologize, it's refreshing how you have taken the advice, and it's very sweet how you and DD made up.