What consequences for a disrespectful kid?

[Anonymous]

Why did she need to get up? You sounds unreasonable and unhinged. Respect is something that doesn't usually come with being arbitrary and mean.

[Anonymous]

Op, your responses are pretty telling. We get it, you don't want any advice except for us to tell you how terrible your child is and how you should punish her. Which is fine if that's what you're looking for. But if you could sit back and take the time to accept your own faults and work on them, you may be surprised how much easier things with your daughter become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did she need to get up? You sounds unreasonable and unhinged. Respect is something that doesn't usually come with being arbitrary and mean.

Don't you get it?!? If the clocks hadn't changed it would have been 1215!!!!! /S. OP sounds unhinged. I grew up with a mom like her. What she doesn't get, is that in the hormonal, less developed mind of a teen, they react to the behavior they are shown instead of being mature and handling it. So when OP screams and threatens to take the door off it's hinges, OPs daughter is going to react in a similar manner. And she's going to expect that every single time she deals with her mom so her guard is always going to be up and she's always going to react defensively from the start. Is it the right way to handle it? Of course not. But it's a teen, it's how their brain works. It was an absolutely miserable way to grow up and I'm so thankful that I worked hard on myself because my childhood caused a lot of issues and my life could have easily taken a different direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she need to get up? You sounds unreasonable and unhinged. Respect is something that doesn't usually come with being arbitrary and mean.

Don't you get it?!? If the clocks hadn't changed it would have been 1215!!!!! /S. OP sounds unhinged. I grew up with a mom like her. What she doesn't get, is that in the hormonal, less developed mind of a teen, they react to the behavior they are shown instead of being mature and handling it. So when OP screams and threatens to take the door off it's hinges, OPs daughter is going to react in a similar manner. And she's going to expect that every single time she deals with her mom so her guard is always going to be up and she's always going to react defensively from the start. Is it the right way to handle it? Of course not. But it's a teen, it's how their brain works. It was an absolutely miserable way to grow up and I'm so thankful that I worked hard on myself because my childhood caused a lot of issues and my life could have easily taken a different direction.

You're the one with some issues if you're still blaming mom for your failures in life. Therapy isn't working aparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

But why?

You sound petty. That will get you petty behavior in return. You taught her to act this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she need to get up? You sounds unreasonable and unhinged. Respect is something that doesn't usually come with being arbitrary and mean.

Don't you get it?!? If the clocks hadn't changed it would have been 1215!!!!! /S. OP sounds unhinged. I grew up with a mom like her. What she doesn't get, is that in the hormonal, less developed mind of a teen, they react to the behavior they are shown instead of being mature and handling it. So when OP screams and threatens to take the door off it's hinges, OPs daughter is going to react in a similar manner. And she's going to expect that every single time she deals with her mom so her guard is always going to be up and she's always going to react defensively from the start. Is it the right way to handle it? Of course not. But it's a teen, it's how their brain works. It was an absolutely miserable way to grow up and I'm so thankful that I worked hard on myself because my childhood caused a lot of issues and my life could have easily taken a different direction.

You're the one with some issues if you're still blaming mom for your failures in life. Therapy isn't working aparently.

Huh? I don't have any failures in my life, I've actually got a pretty fantastic life. But yes, growing up with a mom like I did absolutely caused some problems with emotional regulation, self esteem, and anxiety. Had I not put in the work to overcome those issues, my life may have turned out differently. That was my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she need to get up? You sounds unreasonable and unhinged. Respect is something that doesn't usually come with being arbitrary and mean.

Don't you get it?!? If the clocks hadn't changed it would have been 1215!!!!! /S. OP sounds unhinged. I grew up with a mom like her. What she doesn't get, is that in the hormonal, less developed mind of a teen, they react to the behavior they are shown instead of being mature and handling it. So when OP screams and threatens to take the door off it's hinges, OPs daughter is going to react in a similar manner. And she's going to expect that every single time she deals with her mom so her guard is always going to be up and she's always going to react defensively from the start. Is it the right way to handle it? Of course not. But it's a teen, it's how their brain works. It was an absolutely miserable way to grow up and I'm so thankful that I worked hard on myself because my childhood caused a lot of issues and my life could have easily taken a different direction.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

Is she usually like this or is this a one time thing?

A better question is whether OP is usually like this …

[Anonymous]

It was stupid to wake her up. She knows that, but cannot tell you that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

Is she usually like this or is this a one time thing?

A better question is whether OP is usually like this …

Indeed.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with a mother like you, who, every weekend and summer morning, made us get up at 10:30am for no reason, other than to get up at 10:30am and stare at each other. I was always so genuinely tired and would have appreciated the extra sleep. But nope! Instead I had to cater to the whims of my overbearing and controlling mother.

I allow my teen to sleep as late as she wants. If she has plans, she gets up on time. If not, she sleeps. She manages to get herself up at a reasonable (to me) time on her own, usually by noon.

I think you need to do some serious introspection to figure out why you think she needs to be up at an arbitrary time like that. Why do you feel the need for such control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

you two fools need to practice stoicism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

For starters it’s pretty thick demanding to be respected while simultaneously acting like a lunatic. Raising your voice is never the answer, neither is empty threats of removing the door. I also do t understand this ridiculous no sleeping past 11 rule, what is that all about? Seems so arbitrary and simply a control tactic. Take a look at yourself first.

[Anonymous]

You people who don't have rules are probably not Asian. You grow up in an Asian country, you have rules. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people who don't have rules are probably not Asian. You grow up in an Asian country, you have rules. Period.

So we are not in an Asian country. How is that relevant at all?