What consequences for a disrespectful kid?

[Anonymous]

She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

Is she usually like this or is this a one time thing?

[Anonymous]

How old is she??

[Anonymous]

Screaming at her solves nothing. It will just escalate the situation. You're the parent, you need to remain in control. And are you actually taking the door off and the lamp away? Or are they empty threats? Your kid was disrespectful but you completely over reacted.

[Anonymous]

So you created a huge drama because she slept 15 minutes past an arbitrary time, and it wasn't a school day? And now you're at the point of tearing her door down? Wtaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you created a huge drama because she slept 15 minutes past an arbitrary time, and it wasn't a school day? And now you're at the point of tearing her door down? Wtaf.

+1
If she slept for so long theres probably a reason. Shes a teenager who (like many others) is probably sleep deprived. I understand you not wanting her to sleep the day away but maybe have a talk with her instead of screaming at her. Try to find a compromise. Does she sleep with her phone in her room?

[Anonymous]

Consequences are that she no longer gets to have her phone in her room at night, because she is not getting up on time per household rules and is screaming at the person waking her up, therefore she is not getting enough sleep. Either that or she has a bedtime again.
Don't scream at her or force the door open, you don't want to escalate. If you can't think of a consequence in the heat of the moment, then just say "there will be consequences for X" and then decide what they are later when you are calmer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consequences are that she no longer gets to have her phone in her room at night, because she is not getting up on time per household rules and is screaming at the person waking her up, therefore she is not getting enough sleep. Either that or she has a bedtime again.
Don't scream at her or force the door open, you don't want to escalate. If you can't think of a consequence in the heat of the moment, then just say "there will be consequences for X" and then decide what they are later when you are calmer.

+1

[Anonymous]

She’s a teen. They need sleep. It’s not unusual for teens to sleep late as they are slee deprived on school days. I wake mine gently if I think they’ve overslept or there’s something important happening. I don’t set arbitrary waking times nor did my own parents 30 years ago. If someone woke me up like that, I’d be grumpy too.

This is just not the hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with a mom like you. I wasn't perfect but how she spoke and dealt with me absolutely led me to speak to her not particularly nicely either. She screamed at me for everything. Clothes not picked up? Screamed at. Didn't do exactly what she wanted exactly when she wanted it? Screamed at. Honestly, its a miserable and stressful way to grow up. Please, please take a look at your own behavior and make adjustments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put.

Are you a step-parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

1. You don't wake a teen unless they have something they need to go to.

2. When she screams at you, you walk away. You don't argue with her and fight with her like a middle schooler.

3. Her room is a private area, she should feel safe there and she should be able to close her door and lock it. Slamming is rude but I wouldn't punish for it.

4. You screamed at her, why, are you a child are you childish, way to escalate.

5. If you want the kids awake on a holiday plan something but a random wake time for no reason is controlling.

6. Take the door off for sleeping... holy over reaction batman.

7. Respect begets respect. Stop with this respect thing. If she is rude you walk way, later you say please don't talk to me that way it's rude.

Are you a step parent because you sound like one. If so I have more feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you created a huge drama because she slept 15 minutes past an arbitrary time, and it wasn't a school day? And now you're at the point of tearing her door down? Wtaf.

OP. It would have been 12:15 if not for the time change yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you created a huge drama because she slept 15 minutes past an arbitrary time, and it wasn't a school day? And now you're at the point of tearing her door down? Wtaf.

OP. It would have been 12:15 if not for the time change yesterday.

Ok but it wasn't. If you don't want anyone's advice, that's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was sleeping until 11:15am (would have been 12:15 if not for the time change). I go to wake her up and she screams at me. I warn her that her phone will be taken away and she does not care. I get a phone call and as I am leaving her room she gets up, slams the door and then locks it.

After the phone call, I use the pin to open her door and start screaming at her for the disrespect and that as long as she lives in this house she has to follow some rules and one of them is waking up before 11am on a holiday (we constantly tell the kids not past 11am if they sleep late at night). She says the house is her Dad's house and stubbornly stays put. I walk away telling her I will be taking the door off and the lamp from her room along with the phone.

What could I have done better and what consequences besides the taking away of the phone for a disrespectful kid.

She is still in her room now.

1. You don't wake a teen unless they have something they need to go to.

2. When she screams at you, you walk away. You don't argue with her and fight with her like a middle schooler.

3. Her room is a private area, she should feel safe there and she should be able to close her door and lock it. Slamming is rude but I wouldn't punish for it.

4. You screamed at her, why, are you a child are you childish, way to escalate.

5. If you want the kids awake on a holiday plan something but a random wake time for no reason is controlling.

6. Take the door off for sleeping... holy over reaction batman.

7. Respect begets respect. Stop with this respect thing. If she is rude you walk way, later you say please don't talk to me that way it's rude.

Are you a step parent because you sound like one. If so I have more feedback.

OP. Not a step parent.