Been divorced 5 years; ex sent text last night expressing regret

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:What’s your concern for your child then bases on this text to you?

Dad is expressing regret. I don’t want to deprive my child of a relationship w/their father, but his past behavior has shown he isn’t a person to trust. Dad deprived child from a relationship with him, purposely.

I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.

Respectfully- you chose to make said child with an untrustworthy man. You can’t now decide that they can’t see them. If dad wants a relationship he has a right to one.

Sounds like dear old dad left mom with a special needs 10 year old completely on her own to deal with puberty and a time when he was growing physically stronger and mom really could have used a dad in the household to help. Now that kid is in HS and the harder stuff is done he can come and play hero dad (or not, and leave the OP to deal with any disappointment and setbacks).

Yes, it does sound this way. None of this changes the fact that dads have a right to relationship with their kids, even the shitty ones.

Fair, but if he wants to enforce that, there are legal methods to do that and its not by drunken texts. He can look at their court order and if it allows visitation he can send her a letter requesting it. But I think he's not serious and maybe he had a fight with his wife or something, so I wouldn't rrespond unless he followed up.

+1

This is op. That was my exact thought. Something is awry in dad’s life and he is looking for emotional comfort or to assuage his guilt.

Parenthood is not an occasional job and is about the kid.

I admit I would be curious to have a friend do some social media sleuthing and find out if his wife left him, but better not to get involved, lol. Does your son not have contact with his paternal grandparents?

Paternal grandmother has passed away since the divorce. Paternal grandfather is in a nursing home with multiple chronic conditions. His health is very poor and he probably won’t live much longer.

When the divorce began, they immediately cut me and kid out. They supported ex 100%. My ex mil passed away late last year and one of their family members reached out to me to ask why kid wasn’t at the memorial service with their dad. I simply stated dad has no contact with kid due to dad’s choice. They said everyone thought it odd ex didn’t mention his child at all when they caught up with him during the memorial and after the funeral service.

Ya’ll don’t understand what terrible and odd circumstance my poor kid had to deal with. They were loving grandparents until they weren’t. Oddly enough, my kid is mentioned as beloved grandchild of deceased grandmother in her obituary.

I feel like we are in the twilight zone.

OP, I'm currently doing genealogy and have been reading a thread about obituaries. Specifically about how people are under pressure, have poor recall, etc. when they are preparing them. The conversation was about accuracy issues and surprising omissions.

A helpful interpretation for you, re: the "twilight zone" obituary comment may be that the person who wrote the obituary had an outdated impression of the relationship, did not know of the estrangement situation, or was just throwing in formulaic expressions to sound conventional.

I would disregard the obituary as anything other than a check the box exercise by an unknown person. The funeral home might have drafted it.

It was written by my ex and his father.

The first comment on my ex-mil’s obituary is from the AP, now wife. She sent love from her 4 adult kids (who never once met my ex-mil).

I put my child’s happiness and stability first. My exes cousin who was close to my child offered to take us to the nursing home were my mil was before she died so my kid could see his grandma. She had gone septic after surgery. She unfortunately died before we could take kid to see her, but I don’t even know if it would have been good for kid to see her. She was unresponsive and close to death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your concern for your child then bases on this text to you?

Dad is expressing regret. I don’t want to deprive my child of a relationship w/their father, but his past behavior has shown he isn’t a person to trust. Dad deprived child from a relationship with him, purposely.

I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.

Respectfully- you chose to make said child with an untrustworthy man. You can’t now decide that they can’t see them. If dad wants a relationship he has a right to one.

Sounds like dear old dad left mom with a special needs 10 year old completely on her own to deal with puberty and a time when he was growing physically stronger and mom really could have used a dad in the household to help. Now that kid is in HS and the harder stuff is done he can come and play hero dad (or not, and leave the OP to deal with any disappointment and setbacks).

Yes, it does sound this way. None of this changes the fact that dads have a right to relationship with their kids, even the shitty ones.

Fair, but if he wants to enforce that, there are legal methods to do that and its not by drunken texts. He can look at their court order and if it allows visitation he can send her a letter requesting it. But I think he's not serious and maybe he had a fight with his wife or something, so I wouldn't rrespond unless he followed up.

+1

This is op. That was my exact thought. Something is awry in dad’s life and he is looking for emotional comfort or to assuage his guilt.

Parenthood is not an occasional job and is about the kid.

OP it seems like you don’t want dad and kid to have a relationship. Is that true or am I reading you wrong? Apologies if I’m misinterpreting.

She said multiple times how she tried to facilitate a relationship. You’re just making things up now.

I’m not talking about what OP has done in the past. I mean currently.

I agree with OP that parenthood isn’t an occasional job. I believe dad’s a selfish jerk! But OP seems to think dads sniffing around to rekindle a relationship with exW, or son, and OP doesn’t seem to feel that he deserves it. I agree with my monkey mind, I just know the law and that isn’t how it works. I’m just asking OP because I don’t think it’s as clear as you do, I’m not trying to make anything up? I’m team OP and team kid. But blowing sunshine up OPs rear about what an undeserving jerk dad is won’t help when he is still legally the kids father. That’s all.

She described her son calling him hundreds of times and being ignored. It took an extremely long time to get over it and he physically lashes out when he gets agitated. So yeah, if I'm OP, I'm not keen to respond or tell my son about it and risk getting his hopes up and huge devastating setbacks just over one text when dad was feeling his feels. Let's see at minimum if dad will even... send a second text? An email? This could all be nothing.

Agreed! Of course OP shouldn’t tell a child about a random drunken text from their estranged dad. No one is saying she should. But OP is wrong if she thinks she has the right to determine kid can’t see dad IFF dad does reach out to to kid, or if dads marriage fails and dad moves back.

OP said:
“I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.”

She’s not risking “exposing” child to a new boyfriend. It’s child’s father. She doesn’t have to right to determine that dad and kid can’t see one another, unfortunately, even if “pain and trauma” might result.

I’m not sure why you are not getting this - the court said that this guy *does not have* the right to see his kid. And based on what she had said here, he doesn’t deserve to. This dad forfeited all of his legal and moral right to his kid. The only question is what the KID has the right to, and that is for OP alone to figure out.

You’re right- I’m not getting it. I’m not being obtuse on purpose- I thought OP said father tried to give up his rights and was denied. The child tried to call dad hundreds of times it’s clear he wanted a relationship. That seems to be indicitive of kid wanting a relationship with his dad doesn’t it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to say I’m sorry for your continued stress and drama from you a-hole ex. I’m mid divorce and I see my kids getting their hopes crushed again and again my a father who can’t live up to expectations and it’s so hard no matter what you do. I think the father-kids relationship is the hardest thing about my divorce because I want things to be as good as possible for the kids and my ex has a way of making all possible scenarios unpleasant for the kids. Shows up and lets them know he’s disappointed with them or I’ve ’ruined them’, blows them off and seems not to care, acts like a read dad for a while and gets their hopes up and then cycles through the other options.

I am so sorry to hear that.

You have to be a rock for your kids. Stand strong. You are the present parent. You will be the parent that is there for them through good times and bad, and everywhere in between. You are correct. They only thing that “hurts” is the poor treatment my kid has endured.

You and kids are gonna be ok, because the parents who truly are there for their kids and loves them through it all are gonna make it ok!

I hope you have a good attorney. Good luck and hug those kids tight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your concern for your child then bases on this text to you?

Dad is expressing regret. I don’t want to deprive my child of a relationship w/their father, but his past behavior has shown he isn’t a person to trust. Dad deprived child from a relationship with him, purposely.

I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.

Respectfully- you chose to make said child with an untrustworthy man. You can’t now decide that they can’t see them. If dad wants a relationship he has a right to one.

Sounds like dear old dad left mom with a special needs 10 year old completely on her own to deal with puberty and a time when he was growing physically stronger and mom really could have used a dad in the household to help. Now that kid is in HS and the harder stuff is done he can come and play hero dad (or not, and leave the OP to deal with any disappointment and setbacks).

Yes, it does sound this way. None of this changes the fact that dads have a right to relationship with their kids, even the shitty ones.

Fair, but if he wants to enforce that, there are legal methods to do that and its not by drunken texts. He can look at their court order and if it allows visitation he can send her a letter requesting it. But I think he's not serious and maybe he had a fight with his wife or something, so I wouldn't rrespond unless he followed up.

+1

This is op. That was my exact thought. Something is awry in dad’s life and he is looking for emotional comfort or to assuage his guilt.

Parenthood is not an occasional job and is about the kid.

OP it seems like you don’t want dad and kid to have a relationship. Is that true or am I reading you wrong? Apologies if I’m misinterpreting.

She said multiple times how she tried to facilitate a relationship. You’re just making things up now.

I’m not talking about what OP has done in the past. I mean currently.

I agree with OP that parenthood isn’t an occasional job. I believe dad’s a selfish jerk! But OP seems to think dads sniffing around to rekindle a relationship with exW, or son, and OP doesn’t seem to feel that he deserves it. I agree with my monkey mind, I just know the law and that isn’t how it works. I’m just asking OP because I don’t think it’s as clear as you do, I’m not trying to make anything up? I’m team OP and team kid. But blowing sunshine up OPs rear about what an undeserving jerk dad is won’t help when he is still legally the kids father. That’s all.

She described her son calling him hundreds of times and being ignored. It took an extremely long time to get over it and he physically lashes out when he gets agitated. So yeah, if I'm OP, I'm not keen to respond or tell my son about it and risk getting his hopes up and huge devastating setbacks just over one text when dad was feeling his feels. Let's see at minimum if dad will even... send a second text? An email? This could all be nothing.

Agreed! Of course OP shouldn’t tell a child about a random drunken text from their estranged dad. No one is saying she should. But OP is wrong if she thinks she has the right to determine kid can’t see dad IFF dad does reach out to to kid, or if dads marriage fails and dad moves back.

OP said:
“I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.”

She’s not risking “exposing” child to a new boyfriend. It’s child’s father. She doesn’t have to right to determine that dad and kid can’t see one another, unfortunately, even if “pain and trauma” might result.

I’m not sure why you are not getting this - the court said that this guy *does not have* the right to see his kid. And based on what she had said here, he doesn’t deserve to. This dad forfeited all of his legal and moral right to his kid. The only question is what the KID has the right to, and that is for OP alone to figure out.

You’re right- I’m not getting it. I’m not being obtuse on purpose- I thought OP said father tried to give up his rights and was denied. The child tried to call dad hundreds of times it’s clear he wanted a relationship. That seems to be indicitive of kid wanting a relationship with his dad doesn’t it?

Dp. Yes, kid wanted it and has been absolutely devastated by the rejection. Kid has SN that makes this an even bigger challenge. So, if dad wants a relationship, he has a lot of work to do! Let's see if he does it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your concern for your child then bases on this text to you?

Dad is expressing regret. I don’t want to deprive my child of a relationship w/their father, but his past behavior has shown he isn’t a person to trust. Dad deprived child from a relationship with him, purposely.

I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.

Respectfully- you chose to make said child with an untrustworthy man. You can’t now decide that they can’t see them. If dad wants a relationship he has a right to one.

Sounds like dear old dad left mom with a special needs 10 year old completely on her own to deal with puberty and a time when he was growing physically stronger and mom really could have used a dad in the household to help. Now that kid is in HS and the harder stuff is done he can come and play hero dad (or not, and leave the OP to deal with any disappointment and setbacks).

Yes, it does sound this way. None of this changes the fact that dads have a right to relationship with their kids, even the shitty ones.

Fair, but if he wants to enforce that, there are legal methods to do that and its not by drunken texts. He can look at their court order and if it allows visitation he can send her a letter requesting it. But I think he's not serious and maybe he had a fight with his wife or something, so I wouldn't rrespond unless he followed up.

+1

This is op. That was my exact thought. Something is awry in dad’s life and he is looking for emotional comfort or to assuage his guilt.

Parenthood is not an occasional job and is about the kid.

OP it seems like you don’t want dad and kid to have a relationship. Is that true or am I reading you wrong? Apologies if I’m misinterpreting.

She said multiple times how she tried to facilitate a relationship. You’re just making things up now.

I’m not talking about what OP has done in the past. I mean currently.

I agree with OP that parenthood isn’t an occasional job. I believe dad’s a selfish jerk! But OP seems to think dads sniffing around to rekindle a relationship with exW, or son, and OP doesn’t seem to feel that he deserves it. I agree with my monkey mind, I just know the law and that isn’t how it works. I’m just asking OP because I don’t think it’s as clear as you do, I’m not trying to make anything up? I’m team OP and team kid. But blowing sunshine up OPs rear about what an undeserving jerk dad is won’t help when he is still legally the kids father. That’s all.

She described her son calling him hundreds of times and being ignored. It took an extremely long time to get over it and he physically lashes out when he gets agitated. So yeah, if I'm OP, I'm not keen to respond or tell my son about it and risk getting his hopes up and huge devastating setbacks just over one text when dad was feeling his feels. Let's see at minimum if dad will even... send a second text? An email? This could all be nothing.

Agreed! Of course OP shouldn’t tell a child about a random drunken text from their estranged dad. No one is saying she should. But OP is wrong if she thinks she has the right to determine kid can’t see dad IFF dad does reach out to to kid, or if dads marriage fails and dad moves back.

OP said:
“I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.”

She’s not risking “exposing” child to a new boyfriend. It’s child’s father. She doesn’t have to right to determine that dad and kid can’t see one another, unfortunately, even if “pain and trauma” might result.

I’m not sure why you are not getting this - the court said that this guy *does not have* the right to see his kid. And based on what she had said here, he doesn’t deserve to. This dad forfeited all of his legal and moral right to his kid. The only question is what the KID has the right to, and that is for OP alone to figure out.

You’re right- I’m not getting it. I’m not being obtuse on purpose- I thought OP said father tried to give up his rights and was denied. The child tried to call dad hundreds of times it’s clear he wanted a relationship. That seems to be indicitive of kid wanting a relationship with his dad doesn’t it?

Read this whole thread again. You aren’t getting it.

And the father trying to give up his rights means he was trying to get out of child support not that he was forced by the court to have contact with his child.

[Anonymous]

This is the one year anniversary almost to the day of when I rained hellfire down on my ex about how he was ignoring our kid in the first months of our separation. Thankfully that snapped him out of it (and of course he then move smoothly into the problem being that I had been preventing him from seeing kid or somehow making kid not want to stay with him). But I wonder what would have happened if I had not done that sometimes. I think if ex had had an opportunity and an AP in another state he would have easily done the exact same thing OP’s did. Men just kind of suck.

[Anonymous]

New phone, who dis?

[Anonymous]

He sounds abysmal.

You are much better off without him.

Great idea to discuss with the therapist.

Perhaps there is value in your child re-establishing contact (though he would probably just hurt him/her again).

I see no reason for you to spend a single second engaging with the likes of him.

[Anonymous]

It seems that it turned out that the grass was not that greener on the other side. Ignore the text op. Did the text ignore a specific proposition to correct the situation like he’d like to re-establish contact with son? Or just wishy washy regret with no specific proposed steps to initiate rectifying the relationship with kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your concern for your child then bases on this text to you?

Dad is expressing regret. I don’t want to deprive my child of a relationship w/their father, but his past behavior has shown he isn’t a person to trust. Dad deprived child from a relationship with him, purposely.

I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.

Respectfully- you chose to make said child with an untrustworthy man. You can’t now decide that they can’t see them. If dad wants a relationship he has a right to one.

Sounds like dear old dad left mom with a special needs 10 year old completely on her own to deal with puberty and a time when he was growing physically stronger and mom really could have used a dad in the household to help. Now that kid is in HS and the harder stuff is done he can come and play hero dad (or not, and leave the OP to deal with any disappointment and setbacks).

Yes, it does sound this way. None of this changes the fact that dads have a right to relationship with their kids, even the shitty ones.

Fair, but if he wants to enforce that, there are legal methods to do that and its not by drunken texts. He can look at their court order and if it allows visitation he can send her a letter requesting it. But I think he's not serious and maybe he had a fight with his wife or something, so I wouldn't rrespond unless he followed up.

+1

This is op. That was my exact thought. Something is awry in dad’s life and he is looking for emotional comfort or to assuage his guilt.

Parenthood is not an occasional job and is about the kid.

OP it seems like you don’t want dad and kid to have a relationship. Is that true or am I reading you wrong? Apologies if I’m misinterpreting.

She said multiple times how she tried to facilitate a relationship. You’re just making things up now.

I’m not talking about what OP has done in the past. I mean currently.

I agree with OP that parenthood isn’t an occasional job. I believe dad’s a selfish jerk! But OP seems to think dads sniffing around to rekindle a relationship with exW, or son, and OP doesn’t seem to feel that he deserves it. I agree with my monkey mind, I just know the law and that isn’t how it works. I’m just asking OP because I don’t think it’s as clear as you do, I’m not trying to make anything up? I’m team OP and team kid. But blowing sunshine up OPs rear about what an undeserving jerk dad is won’t help when he is still legally the kids father. That’s all.

She described her son calling him hundreds of times and being ignored. It took an extremely long time to get over it and he physically lashes out when he gets agitated. So yeah, if I'm OP, I'm not keen to respond or tell my son about it and risk getting his hopes up and huge devastating setbacks just over one text when dad was feeling his feels. Let's see at minimum if dad will even... send a second text? An email? This could all be nothing.

Agreed! Of course OP shouldn’t tell a child about a random drunken text from their estranged dad. No one is saying she should. But OP is wrong if she thinks she has the right to determine kid can’t see dad IFF dad does reach out to to kid, or if dads marriage fails and dad moves back.

OP said:
“I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.”

She’s not risking “exposing” child to a new boyfriend. It’s child’s father. She doesn’t have to right to determine that dad and kid can’t see one another, unfortunately, even if “pain and trauma” might result.

I’m not sure why you are not getting this - the court said that this guy *does not have* the right to see his kid. And based on what she had said here, he doesn’t deserve to. This dad forfeited all of his legal and moral right to his kid. The only question is what the KID has the right to, and that is for OP alone to figure out.

You’re right- I’m not getting it. I’m not being obtuse on purpose- I thought OP said father tried to give up his rights and was denied. The child tried to call dad hundreds of times it’s clear he wanted a relationship. That seems to be indicitive of kid wanting a relationship with his dad doesn’t it?

Read this whole thread again. You aren’t getting it.

And the father trying to give up his rights means he was trying to get out of child support not that he was forced by the court to have contact with his child.

Nor was he disallowed from having contact with child. Mother seems to believe father will “bring trauma” and doesn’t seem to want father to rekindle the relationship with son.

[Anonymous]

OP, his actions are all that matter. Not his feelings. Not his feelings or this thoughts. Just his actions. His actions now. There is nothing required of you - he can begin acting better, proving that he has a changed outlook, anytime. No attention, you listening to him required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex began an affair in another state while traveling for work, I found out, and filed for divorce. He did not want the divorce, but I was done. I offered to attend marriage counseling and he declined, so I told him I could not stay married after his infidelity and filed.

He moved to the affair state with his AP while I stayed where we had been living with our kid. The divorce took about 2 years. We had been married 25 years. I have not spoken to him or contacted him at all, after the divorce was finalized. He has remarried his AP and I have assumed they were happy, etc.

He pays alimony and cs, and has cut off all communication with our kid. Kid is in therapy, confused, sad. I feel terrible for our child but I have been helping them handle their father’s absence as much as I can. I offered time and time again to help facilitate the relationship between dad and child, to the point the therapist said please stop, it’s not going to happen, your ex is completely checked out of kid’s life.

So we have rebuilt our lives. It’s going ok.

Last night, around 10 pm, I received an obviously drunken text from ex. He expressed regret and said he felt pain like no other over what he has done. He said he had no excuse for his actions and was sorry. He said he wishes he could talk to me and thinks about us all the time.

I don’t plan on responding. I am going to show my kid’s therapist the text and ask her to discuss the issue with my child. I want a professional to help my child navigate their feelings and emotions and possible actions (ie, contacting their dad and expressing themselves to him in any way they feel comfortable) they could make in response to the text.

That being said: what would you do in response to this text.

Block him. He’s just trying to start up some drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your concern for your child then bases on this text to you?

Dad is expressing regret. I don’t want to deprive my child of a relationship w/their father, but his past behavior has shown he isn’t a person to trust. Dad deprived child from a relationship with him, purposely.

I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.

Respectfully- you chose to make said child with an untrustworthy man. You can’t now decide that they can’t see them. If dad wants a relationship he has a right to one.

Sounds like dear old dad left mom with a special needs 10 year old completely on her own to deal with puberty and a time when he was growing physically stronger and mom really could have used a dad in the household to help. Now that kid is in HS and the harder stuff is done he can come and play hero dad (or not, and leave the OP to deal with any disappointment and setbacks).

Yes, it does sound this way. None of this changes the fact that dads have a right to relationship with their kids, even the shitty ones.

Fair, but if he wants to enforce that, there are legal methods to do that and its not by drunken texts. He can look at their court order and if it allows visitation he can send her a letter requesting it. But I think he's not serious and maybe he had a fight with his wife or something, so I wouldn't rrespond unless he followed up.

+1

This is op. That was my exact thought. Something is awry in dad’s life and he is looking for emotional comfort or to assuage his guilt.

Parenthood is not an occasional job and is about the kid.

I admit I would be curious to have a friend do some social media sleuthing and find out if his wife left him, but better not to get involved, lol. Does your son not have contact with his paternal grandparents?

Paternal grandmother has passed away since the divorce. Paternal grandfather is in a nursing home with multiple chronic conditions. His health is very poor and he probably won’t live much longer.

When the divorce began, they immediately cut me and kid out. They supported ex 100%. My ex mil passed away late last year and one of their family members reached out to me to ask why kid wasn’t at the memorial service with their dad. I simply stated dad has no contact with kid due to dad’s choice. They said everyone thought it odd ex didn’t mention his child at all when they caught up with him during the memorial and after the funeral service.

Ya’ll don’t understand what terrible and odd circumstance my poor kid had to deal with. They were loving grandparents until they weren’t. Oddly enough, my kid is mentioned as beloved grandchild of deceased grandmother in her obituary.

I feel like we are in the twilight zone.

OP, I'm currently doing genealogy and have been reading a thread about obituaries. Specifically about how people are under pressure, have poor recall, etc. when they are preparing them. The conversation was about accuracy issues and surprising omissions.

A helpful interpretation for you, re: the "twilight zone" obituary comment may be that the person who wrote the obituary had an outdated impression of the relationship, did not know of the estrangement situation, or was just throwing in formulaic expressions to sound conventional.

I would disregard the obituary as anything other than a check the box exercise by an unknown person. The funeral home might have drafted it.

It was written by my ex and his father.

The first comment on my ex-mil’s obituary is from the AP, now wife. She sent love from her 4 adult kids (who never once met my ex-mil).

I put my child’s happiness and stability first. My exes cousin who was close to my child offered to take us to the nursing home were my mil was before she died so my kid could see his grandma. She had gone septic after surgery. She unfortunately died before we could take kid to see her, but I don’t even know if it would have been good for kid to see her. She was unresponsive and close to death.

OK, sounds like your Ex or FIL just wanted something conventional-sounding in there.

With the AP's comment, sounds like keeping up appearances of normality is important to your Ex's new world.

That's their Twilight Zone, not yours. You live in the real world.

Drunk or not, he deserves to feel guilty. I don't think it's weird that he feels guilty. He earned it.

[Anonymous]

You were married 15 years before you had a kid?

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were married 15 years before you had a kid?

Troll

Fertility issues. Thanks for noticing.