Are those grandparents who are worried about being "too far away" from grandchildren unaware of airplanes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

Starting to deal with this more now, and it isn’t easy because they still live in my painfully dull and hard to get to hometown. It’s a crowded suburb with terrible traffic and just getting to and from the airport is a major hassle. I wish they had retired to a nice beach town or New England village as they had claimed they wanted to, but it never happened. I have no desire to repeatedly go back to where I grew up, it have no ties there really, but they will never leave at this point. It is what it is and I’m glad I have a sibling near them who also will probably not leave, at least until they pass away. They have money to travel, but they’re getting older and all the talk of meeting halfway somewhere warm and fun for the kids never materialized.

I’m not looking forward to trips to staying overnight in my childhood bedroom. My husband doesn’t like them, doesn’t like visiting them, doesn’t like the town, etc. so I may be on my own at some point once the kids are off to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

Starting to deal with this more now, and it isn’t easy because they still live in my painfully dull and hard to get to hometown. It’s a crowded suburb with terrible traffic and just getting to and from the airport is a major hassle. I wish they had retired to a nice beach town or New England village as they had claimed they wanted to, but it never happened. I have no desire to repeatedly go back to where I grew up, it have no ties there really, but they will never leave at this point. It is what it is and I’m glad I have a sibling near them who also will probably not leave, at least until they pass away. They have money to travel, but they’re getting older and all the talk of meeting halfway somewhere warm and fun for the kids never materialized.

I’m not looking forward to trips to staying overnight in my childhood bedroom. My husband doesn’t like them, doesn’t like visiting them, doesn’t like the town, etc. so I may be on my own at some point once the kids are off to college.

are they pushy about it? or relatively decent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

Starting to deal with this more now, and it isn’t easy because they still live in my painfully dull and hard to get to hometown. It’s a crowded suburb with terrible traffic and just getting to and from the airport is a major hassle. I wish they had retired to a nice beach town or New England village as they had claimed they wanted to, but it never happened. I have no desire to repeatedly go back to where I grew up, it have no ties there really, but they will never leave at this point. It is what it is and I’m glad I have a sibling near them who also will probably not leave, at least until they pass away. They have money to travel, but they’re getting older and all the talk of meeting halfway somewhere warm and fun for the kids never materialized.

I’m not looking forward to trips to staying overnight in my childhood bedroom. My husband doesn’t like them, doesn’t like visiting them, doesn’t like the town, etc. so I may be on my own at some point once the kids are off to college.

On your own in what way? Are you going to make more trips to see them, or are you going to go live with them without your DH? We will face this same question, and I expect we'll both take visits to spend time with our respective aging parents solo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

This. My parents have a hard time traveling nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

This. My parents have a hard time traveling nowadays.

That's sad... but what do they expect you to do about it?

[Anonymous]

Jesus. This is one sad thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

Why? Let them live their own lives!

Helicopter grandparents for crying out loud!

I don’t think showing up at soccer games is “helicopter grand parenting” or being there to stay home with a sick kid or picking them up from school when there is early release for snow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

Then try in court to get their custody as they are OP's kids and you can only get as much time as she sees fit.

You are a psycho

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

[Anonymous]

So sad to see how many people around here have such dysfunctional relationships with their families.

[Anonymous]

It’s called cash OP

You are an entitled pos

[Anonymous]

The problem I have with threads like these are the generalizations involved. Posters assume that because their families are dysfunctional that everyone’s must be. If their parents are awful, that means all boomers are, etc. Imagine making the same generalizations about white people, Black people, Jews, Catholics, etc. It would just be completely unacceptable. But when it comes to a whole generation, you folks think nothing of being nasty. It’s not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

Starting to deal with this more now, and it isn’t easy because they still live in my painfully dull and hard to get to hometown. It’s a crowded suburb with terrible traffic and just getting to and from the airport is a major hassle. I wish they had retired to a nice beach town or New England village as they had claimed they wanted to, but it never happened. I have no desire to repeatedly go back to where I grew up, it have no ties there really, but they will never leave at this point. It is what it is and I’m glad I have a sibling near them who also will probably not leave, at least until they pass away. They have money to travel, but they’re getting older and all the talk of meeting halfway somewhere warm and fun for the kids never materialized.

I’m not looking forward to trips to staying overnight in my childhood bedroom. My husband doesn’t like them, doesn’t like visiting them, doesn’t like the town, etc. so I may be on my own at some point once the kids are off to college.

On your own in what way? Are you going to make more trips to see them, or are you going to go live with them without your DH? We will face this same question, and I expect we'll both take visits to spend time with our respective aging parents solo.

Probably visit them without husband and kids but definitely not living with them even if they’re not in a nursing home by then. They can be verbally abusive. Don’t need to put myself in that situation on purpose. I’ll do what I can without going broke unless they offer some funds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem I have with threads like these are the generalizations involved. Posters assume that because their families are dysfunctional that everyone’s must be. If their parents are awful, that means all boomers are, etc. Imagine making the same generalizations about white people, Black people, Jews, Catholics, etc. It would just be completely unacceptable. But when it comes to a whole generation, you folks think nothing of being nasty. It’s not a good look.

no, it's very, very specifically about self-absorbed boomers who try to control where their children live because they believe their access to grandchildren (for reasons unknown, since most boomers aren't very loving) is more important than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.