Are those grandparents who are worried about being "too far away" from grandchildren unaware of airplanes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

I did have grandparents myself, I'm aware that at some point you visit them more than they visit you.

It's expensive and difficult to put my family on a plane to visit grandparents. Grandparents are now too infirm to sit on a plane for 5 hours. Even before that was the case, being a plane ride away meant they missed the little stuff, had to trade off major holidays with the in-laws, etc.

That doesn't mean adult children can't move. Adults do what is best for their families. But adults also admit to the consequences, even if deciding to accept those consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

I did have grandparents myself, I'm aware that at some point you visit them more than they visit you.

It's expensive and difficult to put my family on a plane to visit grandparents. Grandparents are now too infirm to sit on a plane for 5 hours. Even before that was the case, being a plane ride away meant they missed the little stuff, had to trade off major holidays with the in-laws, etc.

That doesn't mean adult children can't move. Adults do what is best for their families. But adults also admit to the consequences, even if deciding to accept those consequences.

My main problem is with grandparents who pressure their children to rearrange THEIR lives to make sure the grandparents have access to the grandchildren. If you are a parent (or grandaprent) who puts your own interests ahead of what's best—career, personally, etc.—for your children and grandchildren, you're a miserable selfish old twit.

And people who give up on something they want—a promotion, an opportunity to live overseas, etc. out of fear of what their parents might think about the distance are just losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

I did have grandparents myself, I'm aware that at some point you visit them more than they visit you.

It's expensive and difficult to put my family on a plane to visit grandparents. Grandparents are now too infirm to sit on a plane for 5 hours. Even before that was the case, being a plane ride away meant they missed the little stuff, had to trade off major holidays with the in-laws, etc.

That doesn't mean adult children can't move. Adults do what is best for their families. But adults also admit to the consequences, even if deciding to accept those consequences.

My main problem is with grandparents who pressure their children to rearrange THEIR lives to make sure the grandparents have access to the grandchildren. If you are a parent (or grandaprent) who puts your own interests ahead of what's best—career, personally, etc.—for your children and grandchildren, you're a miserable selfish old twit.

And people who give up on something they want—a promotion, an opportunity to live overseas, etc. out of fear of what their parents might think about the distance are just losers.

Then maybe don't title your thread the way you did? You have so much anger you're not aiming right. Figure out what's bothering you before creating a thread that's off-base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

I did have grandparents myself, I'm aware that at some point you visit them more than they visit you.

It's expensive and difficult to put my family on a plane to visit grandparents. Grandparents are now too infirm to sit on a plane for 5 hours. Even before that was the case, being a plane ride away meant they missed the little stuff, had to trade off major holidays with the in-laws, etc.

That doesn't mean adult children can't move. Adults do what is best for their families. But adults also admit to the consequences, even if deciding to accept those consequences.

My main problem is with grandparents who pressure their children to rearrange THEIR lives to make sure the grandparents have access to the grandchildren. If you are a parent (or grandaprent) who puts your own interests ahead of what's best—career, personally, etc.—for your children and grandchildren, you're a miserable selfish old twit.

And people who give up on something they want—a promotion, an opportunity to live overseas, etc. out of fear of what their parents might think about the distance are just losers.

Then maybe don't title your thread the way you did? You have so much anger you're not aiming right. Figure out what's bothering you before creating a thread that's off-base.

I thought "narcissist Boomers should stop putting their selfish interests first and learn how to visit people" would be too provocative.

as a grandparent your job is to love your grandchildren and pass on the family history—not to dictate where anyone lives.

[Anonymous]

None of my kids' grandparents are local. It's not a source of tension for them or us. We're not moving to them. We could move them to a care facility near us someday if needed.

[Anonymous]

This is such a dumb post. My family lives within driving distance and we are lucky that there is money, time, and health that we can see DH's family often who live a 3 hr plane ride away. We recognize many people aren't in the same situation as us.

And if people are giving up stuff they want because of their parents, the problem is with them, not their parents.

Your view of the world and what people are able to do is very skewed. Your post just makes you sound like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of my kids' grandparents are local. It's not a source of tension for them or us. We're not moving to them. We could move them to a care facility near us someday if needed.

nice -- the way it should work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

I did have grandparents myself, I'm aware that at some point you visit them more than they visit you.

It's expensive and difficult to put my family on a plane to visit grandparents. Grandparents are now too infirm to sit on a plane for 5 hours. Even before that was the case, being a plane ride away meant they missed the little stuff, had to trade off major holidays with the in-laws, etc.

That doesn't mean adult children can't move. Adults do what is best for their families. But adults also admit to the consequences, even if deciding to accept those consequences.

My main problem is with grandparents who pressure their children to rearrange THEIR lives to make sure the grandparents have access to the grandchildren. If you are a parent (or grandaprent) who puts your own interests ahead of what's best—career, personally, etc.—for your children and grandchildren, you're a miserable selfish old twit.

And people who give up on something they want—a promotion, an opportunity to live overseas, etc. out of fear of what their parents might think about the distance are just losers.

Then maybe don't title your thread the way you did? You have so much anger you're not aiming right. Figure out what's bothering you before creating a thread that's off-base.

I thought "narcissist Boomers should stop putting their selfish interests first and learn how to visit people" would be too provocative.

as a grandparent your job is to love your grandchildren and pass on the family history—not to dictate where anyone lives.

Do you really know that many people who are experiencing this? I know absolutely zero. Or is it just one in particular and you're making a moronic generalization post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb post. My family lives within driving distance and we are lucky that there is money, time, and health that we can see DH's family often who live a 3 hr plane ride away. We recognize many people aren't in the same situation as us.

And if people are giving up stuff they want because of their parents, the problem is with them, not their parents.

Your view of the world and what people are able to do is very skewed. Your post just makes you sound like an idiot.

have you READ any posts around here? they're filled with raging self-absorbed types (or their adult children complaining about them) who are OUTRAGED their interests and time with grandchildren are not made first priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP where do you live and where do the grandparents live?

I grew up outside of NYC and my grandparents were in Wisconsin. I saw them all the time—one or two trips out there a year, one or two trips out to see us a year, occasional opportunities to see them somewhere inbetween. It's not hard if you care... they were there when it mattered and I never felt less loved—but I sure think of my moments with them as more special than my wife who grew up with her grandparents three houses away and subsequently knew all the horrible details of her grandmother's alcoholism and her grandfather's remarriage to a gold-digger with a sextoy fetish.

Distance makes the heart grow fond... I'd never live near my grandkids.

Check your privilege, OP! You can care all you want, but if you don't have the money, then you simply don't have the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

I did have grandparents myself, I'm aware that at some point you visit them more than they visit you.

It's expensive and difficult to put my family on a plane to visit grandparents. Grandparents are now too infirm to sit on a plane for 5 hours. Even before that was the case, being a plane ride away meant they missed the little stuff, had to trade off major holidays with the in-laws, etc.

That doesn't mean adult children can't move. Adults do what is best for their families. But adults also admit to the consequences, even if deciding to accept those consequences.

My main problem is with grandparents who pressure their children to rearrange THEIR lives to make sure the grandparents have access to the grandchildren. If you are a parent (or grandaprent) who puts your own interests ahead of what's best—career, personally, etc.—for your children and grandchildren, you're a miserable selfish old twit.

And people who give up on something they want—a promotion, an opportunity to live overseas, etc. out of fear of what their parents might think about the distance are just losers.

Then maybe don't title your thread the way you did? You have so much anger you're not aiming right. Figure out what's bothering you before creating a thread that's off-base.

I thought "narcissist Boomers should stop putting their selfish interests first and learn how to visit people" would be too provocative.

as a grandparent your job is to love your grandchildren and pass on the family history—not to dictate where anyone lives.

Do you really know that many people who are experiencing this? I know absolutely zero. Or is it just one in particular and you're making a moronic generalization post.

yes, i do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb post. My family lives within driving distance and we are lucky that there is money, time, and health that we can see DH's family often who live a 3 hr plane ride away. We recognize many people aren't in the same situation as us.

And if people are giving up stuff they want because of their parents, the problem is with them, not their parents.

Your view of the world and what people are able to do is very skewed. Your post just makes you sound like an idiot.

have you READ any posts around here? they're filled with raging self-absorbed types (or their adult children complaining about them) who are OUTRAGED their interests and time with grandchildren are not made first priority.

So? If your parents are the raging, self-absorbed type, remind them they can buy a ticket to visit at any time. If they can't afford it, you could buy them a ticket. If they really want to see their grandkids on a regular basis, they could move to you, but if they already have a community in place, it's probably a bad idea. So, nicely ignore the raging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb post. My family lives within driving distance and we are lucky that there is money, time, and health that we can see DH's family often who live a 3 hr plane ride away. We recognize many people aren't in the same situation as us.

And if people are giving up stuff they want because of their parents, the problem is with them, not their parents.

Your view of the world and what people are able to do is very skewed. Your post just makes you sound like an idiot.

have you READ any posts around here? they're filled with raging self-absorbed types (or their adult children complaining about them) who are OUTRAGED their interests and time with grandchildren are not made first priority.

So? If your parents are the raging, self-absorbed type, remind them they can buy a ticket to visit at any time. If they can't afford it, you could buy them a ticket. If they really want to see their grandkids on a regular basis, they could move to you, but if they already have a community in place, it's probably a bad idea. So, nicely ignore the raging.

Or they can stop the raging—it is fundamentally their problem. The rest of us don't need to put up wiht it.

[Anonymous]

OP, what dose of entirely not medically indicated testosterone are you taking? May want to revisit that with your functional medicine concierge doc. It’s not serving you well

If you’re as amazing as you imagine yourself to be, another career opportunity will surely come up in your current locale. You can let this one go.

[Anonymous]

My parents fly all the time, but almost never to visit us.

So I don't take the "too far away" complaints very seriously.