Do you have a kid w/ anxiety who was well-supported at college?

[Anonymous]

OP your kid sounds a lot like mine. Dyslexia/anxiety/ADHD/mildly autistic. The biggest help has been getting supports in place. Medication for the anxiety and ADHD, extra time and small group testing for the dyslexia and ADHD, and therapist for all of it. She sees the same therapist she sees when she's home through telehealth and that's been great. As others have said I don't think you can count on the college to provide everything they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at Bates. With proper warning, Bates admin will allow such a profile to drop late, to withdraw from any class at any time with no penalty, to miss all your classes and stay in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance, have final paper requirements struck from the syllabus and so much more. You can also take time and a half to graduate!

This sidetracked conversation is probably better for a different thread (along with the therapist conversation) but I don't feel like starting one.

How is Bates's approach helpful to the student? Missing all your classes and staying in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance does not sound healthy for the student at all. You mean they don't have to do a final paper if such a profile allows? Again, how is that helpful to the student?

Pretty sure it was just a backhanded insult and not actually information.

[Anonymous]

Proximity to home is key. A kid who is doing well may not come home except on breaks, but the ability to come home to re-set or access medical care can make a huge difference in averting a crisis. I think even just KNOWING it's an option helps, even if the kid doesn't use it.

[Anonymous]

You sure buried the lede OP.
Your kid is SN with ADHD, dyslexia, ASD.
That's not garden variety "anxiety."
What do they plan to do after college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at Bates. With proper warning, Bates admin will allow such a profile to drop late, to withdraw from any class at any time with no penalty, to miss all your classes and stay in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance, have final paper requirements struck from the syllabus and so much more. You can also take time and a half to graduate!

This sidetracked conversation is probably better for a different thread (along with the therapist conversation) but I don't feel like starting one.

How is Bates's approach helpful to the student? Missing all your classes and staying in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance does not sound healthy for the student at all. You mean they don't have to do a final paper if such a profile allows? Again, how is that helpful to the student?

Pretty sure it was just a backhanded insult and not actually information.

I wrote the Bates post. It is accurate information. It’s also kind of an insult because the kid in question is barely, barely doing what we would define as “college” but Bates cashes those tuition checks year after year. The degree, if there ever is one, should be worthless however there will be no asterisk on the transcript denoting that the student essentially performed 1/8 of what’s expected by the college / professors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at Bates. With proper warning, Bates admin will allow such a profile to drop late, to withdraw from any class at any time with no penalty, to miss all your classes and stay in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance, have final paper requirements struck from the syllabus and so much more. You can also take time and a half to graduate!

This sidetracked conversation is probably better for a different thread (along with the therapist conversation) but I don't feel like starting one.

How is Bates's approach helpful to the student? Missing all your classes and staying in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance does not sound healthy for the student at all. You mean they don't have to do a final paper if such a profile allows? Again, how is that helpful to the student?

Pretty sure it was just a backhanded insult and not actually information.

I wrote the Bates post. It is accurate information. It’s also kind of an insult because the kid in question is barely, barely doing what we would define as “college” but Bates cashes those tuition checks year after year. The degree, if there ever is one, should be worthless however there will be no asterisk on the transcript denoting that the student essentially performed 1/8 of what’s expected by the college / professors.

Your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The extreme defensiveness of those reacting to the therapist proves her point. Many of these gen z kids (especially of the affluent DCUM-type) have been snowplow and helicopter parented and don’t function as independent young adults with agency and responsibility.

Bingo

I think the posters were expecting a professional to provide a more thoughtful analysis than the views doled out by untrained and uniformed strangers typically drive-by judging our kids. Or even constructive feedback! They didn't. Hence, the responses. Parents are always the problem. For us it was that our parents left us outside all day, beat us and/or did not believe in emotional needs. Therapists deal all day with the product of that in 40 and 50 something adults.

The "Gen Z kids" are the kids. That is the generation of kids at issue at the moment. We don't have other kids. If you can't help the current kids, with the problems attendant to their generation, step aside and wait for the next batch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sure buried the lede OP.
Your kid is SN with ADHD, dyslexia, ASD.
That's not garden variety "anxiety."
What do they plan to do after college?

I am the OP and did not bury the lede. You are quoting someone else describing their own kid, not mine.

As for my kid, they have no clue. Just like me at age 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at Bates. With proper warning, Bates admin will allow such a profile to drop late, to withdraw from any class at any time with no penalty, to miss all your classes and stay in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance, have final paper requirements struck from the syllabus and so much more. You can also take time and a half to graduate!

This sidetracked conversation is probably better for a different thread (along with the therapist conversation) but I don't feel like starting one.

How is Bates's approach helpful to the student? Missing all your classes and staying in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance does not sound healthy for the student at all. You mean they don't have to do a final paper if such a profile allows? Again, how is that helpful to the student?

Pretty sure it was just a backhanded insult and not actually information.

I wrote the Bates post. It is accurate information. It’s also kind of an insult because the kid in question is barely, barely doing what we would define as “college” but Bates cashes those tuition checks year after year. The degree, if there ever is one, should be worthless however there will be no asterisk on the transcript denoting that the student essentially performed 1/8 of what’s expected by the college / professors.

I hope for the sake of the Bates college student that you are not their parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sure buried the lede OP.
Your kid is SN with ADHD, dyslexia, ASD.
That's not garden variety "anxiety."
What do they plan to do after college?

I am the OP and did not bury the lede. You are quoting someone else describing their own kid, not mine.

As for my kid, they have no clue. Just like me at age 17.

Also I never described my kid as having "garden variety" anything. I literally said they had SIGNIFICANT anxiety, which is why I'm trying to research how they might be supported at school.

And again, we are not looking for the school to act as a therapist (they have one) or to wake them up in the morning (they do that themselves) or to solve all their problems. But, unlike my other kids, this one is a sensitive soul and needs more support than your average college kid. So, I'm just looking for information about support services at a number of specific schools.

Crazy how people use a question soliciting information about colleges (isn't that the purpose of this forum?) as an opening to attack total strangers, their parenting choices, and children's chances at career success.

What I can't figure out is whether there are just one or two super mean people with way too much time on their hands who turn every DCUM thread into a complete shitshow or if most people are truly this awful and only let it out when offered the veil of anonymity.

Anyway, thanks for the one or two people who actually answered my question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Proximity to home is key. A kid who is doing well may not come home except on breaks, but the ability to come home to re-set or access medical care can make a huge difference in averting a crisis. I think even just KNOWING it's an option helps, even if the kid doesn't use it.

This. I posted early in the thread about our daughter who had generalized anxiety and ADHD but slipped back into depression and anorexia. Good now, and graduating in May, but it was difficult. She was four hours away and it was doable to visit or for her to come home. Later that turned into visits to schools she was looking into transferring to, which she did.
Being able to get to your kid, or get your kid home easily is helpful. It may mean a couple of states away with easy transport. Good luck with everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Proximity to home is key. A kid who is doing well may not come home except on breaks, but the ability to come home to re-set or access medical care can make a huge difference in averting a crisis. I think even just KNOWING it's an option helps, even if the kid doesn't use it.

This. I posted early in the thread about our daughter who had generalized anxiety and ADHD but slipped back into depression and anorexia. Good now, and graduating in May, but it was difficult. She was four hours away and it was doable to visit or for her to come home. Later that turned into visits to schools she was looking into transferring to, which she did.
Being able to get to your kid, or get your kid home easily is helpful. It may mean a couple of states away with easy transport. Good luck with everything.

Thank you. This is actually helpful. We are in DC so Reed obv is not close and that is currently the top choice so good food for thought.

[Anonymous]

If I’m paying $100K per year on tuition, there is no reason why the class registration process should be as fraught as buying Taylor Swift concert tickets. That’s a ridiculous process, for anyone - a college student, an adult, with or without anxiety. To me, it shows that the college really doesn’t care about the well-being of the students.