Do you have a kid w/ anxiety who was well-supported at college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

But why is that the fault of the school? If your kid is 20 freaking years old, they should be able to open the course registration portal at 11 PM and figure out how to register for courses. If anything it's a lot easier at a SLAC than at a state school. The school is not responsible for your kid's own irresponsibility!

Not the PP but man. Why did you need to post this? May you and yours never have to deal with any mental health issues or disabilities.
Geez.

Because I'm a therapist who deals with college students all the time with anxiety/depression who are hell-bent on blaming the school/admin for their OWN failings. I deal with mentally ill young adults day in and day out who are unable to take accountability for the most basic tasks. It's a HUGE cultural problem. Gen Z is happy to blame the school/institution/other adults for their own shortcomings while not doing anything on their own to solve their "inability to deal with time pressure" (as the PP describes their kid) or the myriad of other excuses I get about why my clients are not able to complete developmentally appropriate tasks.

You have no idea what treatment the PP's student is or has received. I'm really glad my child isn't your patient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

But why is that the fault of the school? If your kid is 20 freaking years old, they should be able to open the course registration portal at 11 PM and figure out how to register for courses. If anything it's a lot easier at a SLAC than at a state school. The school is not responsible for your kid's own irresponsibility!

Not the PP but man. Why did you need to post this? May you and yours never have to deal with any mental health issues or disabilities.
Geez.

Because I'm a therapist who deals with college students all the time with anxiety/depression who are hell-bent on blaming the school/admin for their OWN failings. I deal with mentally ill young adults day in and day out who are unable to take accountability for the most basic tasks. It's a HUGE cultural problem. Gen Z is happy to blame the school/institution/other adults for their own shortcomings while not doing anything on their own to solve their "inability to deal with time pressure" (as the PP describes their kid) or the myriad of other excuses I get about why my clients are not able to complete developmentally appropriate tasks.

What basic tasks can’t they do? I’m asking because I want to make sure I teach them to my teenagers before they go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

But why is that the fault of the school? If your kid is 20 freaking years old, they should be able to open the course registration portal at 11 PM and figure out how to register for courses. If anything it's a lot easier at a SLAC than at a state school. The school is not responsible for your kid's own irresponsibility!

Not the PP but man. Why did you need to post this? May you and yours never have to deal with any mental health issues or disabilities.
Geez.

Because I'm a therapist who deals with college students all the time with anxiety/depression who are hell-bent on blaming the school/admin for their OWN failings. I deal with mentally ill young adults day in and day out who are unable to take accountability for the most basic tasks. It's a HUGE cultural problem. Gen Z is happy to blame the school/institution/other adults for their own shortcomings while not doing anything on their own to solve their "inability to deal with time pressure" (as the PP describes their kid) or the myriad of other excuses I get about why my clients are not able to complete developmentally appropriate tasks.

Maybe time to take a sabbatical. Seriously.

+1 so much anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

But why is that the fault of the school? If your kid is 20 freaking years old, they should be able to open the course registration portal at 11 PM and figure out how to register for courses. If anything it's a lot easier at a SLAC than at a state school. The school is not responsible for your kid's own irresponsibility!

Not the PP but man. Why did you need to post this? May you and yours never have to deal with any mental health issues or disabilities.
Geez.

Because I'm a therapist who deals with college students all the time with anxiety/depression who are hell-bent on blaming the school/admin for their OWN failings. I deal with mentally ill young adults day in and day out who are unable to take accountability for the most basic tasks. It's a HUGE cultural problem. Gen Z is happy to blame the school/institution/other adults for their own shortcomings while not doing anything on their own to solve their "inability to deal with time pressure" (as the PP describes their kid) or the myriad of other excuses I get about why my clients are not able to complete developmentally appropriate tasks.

What sort of training do you have that qualifies you to be a therapist? I ask because refusing to take accountability, making excuses, and not doing anything to improve their situation are characteristics of nearly 100% of people who enter therapy and of a huge percentage of the population in general. It sounds a bit like you are making excuses (“it’s a huge problem with gen-z”) and utterly failing to accept accountability for your failure to help your patients.

[Anonymous]

+1 on the priority registration accommodation. Additionally I would make a list of the things that are the most difficult/distressing for your kid and make a 3 way appt with disability services to see what accommodations are available to address them. There are often ones we haven’t even thought about that the disability office can make available.
Also think about a medication adjustment for the anxiety.

[Anonymous]

We have had a great experience at SMCM with accommodations and support for my DD’s anxiety. It’s a lovely supportive school on the water.

[Anonymous]

Look at Bates. With proper warning, Bates admin will allow such a profile to drop late, to withdraw from any class at any time with no penalty, to miss all your classes and stay in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance, have final paper requirements struck from the syllabus and so much more. You can also take time and a half to graduate!

[Anonymous]

Highly recommend joining the FB page Parents of College Bound Students with Learning Disabilities, ADHD and ASD. You will get lots of great input from people with first-hand knowledge.

https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1EvWFvm2kS/?mibextid=wwXIfr

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

But why is that the fault of the school? If your kid is 20 freaking years old, they should be able to open the course registration portal at 11 PM and figure out how to register for courses. If anything it's a lot easier at a SLAC than at a state school. The school is not responsible for your kid's own irresponsibility!

Not the PP but man. Why did you need to post this? May you and yours never have to deal with any mental health issues or disabilities.
Geez.

Because I'm a therapist who deals with college students all the time with anxiety/depression who are hell-bent on blaming the school/admin for their OWN failings. I deal with mentally ill young adults day in and day out who are unable to take accountability for the most basic tasks. It's a HUGE cultural problem. Gen Z is happy to blame the school/institution/other adults for their own shortcomings while not doing anything on their own to solve their "inability to deal with time pressure" (as the PP describes their kid) or the myriad of other excuses I get about why my clients are not able to complete developmentally appropriate tasks.

You have no idea what treatment the PP's student is or has received. I'm really glad my child isn't your patient.

People people people, how do you know that poster is actually a therapist? Don't engage.

[Anonymous]

OP - your child should stay close to home and I hope continue with intensive therapy and health care. Going away with that profile is a recipe for disaster. We're moving my dd (now 24) to a new city next month! She stayed close to home for college due to health problems and severe anxiety. It's more important that she has stable supports. No school can (or should) play that role. It was a very very challenging 4 years. BUT SHe's been working ft for 2 years, got promoted, and is moving a 3 hour plane ride away - she's ready now that she is on the right diet, meds, exercise, etc. She wasn't ready at 18. And that's ok!! Good luck ! SHe'll find her way!

[Anonymous]

OP - best to your child and it sounds like you’re doing all the right things by thinking ahead about the transition to college and considering the supports your child will need. College is a huge adjustment- for everyone, regardless of their needs. Have you considered having your child attend a small regional college close to home for a couple years and then seeing if your child is ready to attend/transfer to a college farther away. Or 4 years at a supportive LAC closer to home?

[Anonymous]

Just because the therapist posted a frustrated opinion doesn’t mean they’re a bad therapist to the people they treat. We all know plenty of teens/young adults who have been coddled to the point they can’t handle living life outside of their home once mom/dad isn’t around to drive their entire day. A record number of college students move home because they can’t handle the problems of dorm life. The number of people with adhd/autism hasn’t increased, the ID of those issues have, but with it become the excuses by the parents over why their kids can’t do something. We see it here on dcum all the time. I have adhd and didn’t know it until I was an adult. I had to power through a lot of things and figure it out myself. I struggled a lot and wish I had been diagnosed earlier, but sometimes I think that maybe it was better for me to push through and not think of myself as someone with a special need or disability.

All that to say, don’t beat up on the therapist. Providers aren’t perfect, but what they say in private/anonymous situations doesn’t mean they’re bad at what they do in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

But why is that the fault of the school? If your kid is 20 freaking years old, they should be able to open the course registration portal at 11 PM and figure out how to register for courses. If anything it's a lot easier at a SLAC than at a state school. The school is not responsible for your kid's own irresponsibility!

Not the PP but man. Why did you need to post this? May you and yours never have to deal with any mental health issues or disabilities.
Geez.

Because I'm a therapist who deals with college students all the time with anxiety/depression who are hell-bent on blaming the school/admin for their OWN failings. I deal with mentally ill young adults day in and day out who are unable to take accountability for the most basic tasks. It's a HUGE cultural problem. Gen Z is happy to blame the school/institution/other adults for their own shortcomings while not doing anything on their own to solve their "inability to deal with time pressure" (as the PP describes their kid) or the myriad of other excuses I get about why my clients are not able to complete developmentally appropriate tasks.

Np. Ouch but yes! One thing that is hugely counterproductive is that IEPs and 504s are generally not designed to build skills or handle anxiety in a clinically appropriate way. They all give kids extra time on tests and ability to redo assignments. They allow kids to avoid anxiety producing situations like public speaking. They give accommodations that function to give kids excuses for their performance rather than accepting their weaknesses or the need to work harder than other kids.

I tried and failed to get my kid NOT to have extended testing time but the school gives it to him anyway. The crazy thing is that he is MORE motivated and focused when he has a deadline. But it is easier for the school to just put all of the IEP kids in the same room, and they just assume he cannot take a timed test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at Bates. With proper warning, Bates admin will allow such a profile to drop late, to withdraw from any class at any time with no penalty, to miss all your classes and stay in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance, have final paper requirements struck from the syllabus and so much more. You can also take time and a half to graduate!

What a deal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because the therapist posted a frustrated opinion doesn’t mean they’re a bad therapist to the people they treat. We all know plenty of teens/young adults who have been coddled to the point they can’t handle living life outside of their home once mom/dad isn’t around to drive their entire day. A record number of college students move home because they can’t handle the problems of dorm life. The number of people with adhd/autism hasn’t increased, the ID of those issues have, but with it become the excuses by the parents over why their kids can’t do something. We see it here on dcum all the time. I have adhd and didn’t know it until I was an adult. I had to power through a lot of things and figure it out myself. I struggled a lot and wish I had been diagnosed earlier, but sometimes I think that maybe it was better for me to push through and not think of myself as someone with a special need or disability.

All that to say, don’t beat up on the therapist. Providers aren’t perfect, but what they say in private/anonymous situations doesn’t mean they’re bad at what they do in public.

No. This “therapist” deserves the same grace on an anonymous board they show their patients. None.