Do you have a kid w/ anxiety who was well-supported at college?

[Anonymous]

The extreme defensiveness of those reacting to the therapist proves her point. Many of these gen z kids (especially of the affluent DCUM-type) have been snowplow and helicopter parented and don’t function as independent young adults with agency and responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had a great experience at SMCM with accommodations and support for my DD’s anxiety. It’s a lovely supportive school on the water.

Same. They have a wonderful supportive community. I reached out to parent liaison who was very helpful in getting DD support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at Bates. With proper warning, Bates admin will allow such a profile to drop late, to withdraw from any class at any time with no penalty, to miss all your classes and stay in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance, have final paper requirements struck from the syllabus and so much more. You can also take time and a half to graduate!

+100. I have a child with similar profile to OP who has thrived at Bates.

[Anonymous]

I wish OP’s child all the best. I’m sure it hasn’t been an easy journey for the parents or the kid and none of us have any right to judge the situation. Kids who aren’t struggling with the same issues may struggle in other ways when they get to college. Much better to ask for and receive support so that the kid can get the most out of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at Bates. With proper warning, Bates admin will allow such a profile to drop late, to withdraw from any class at any time with no penalty, to miss all your classes and stay in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance, have final paper requirements struck from the syllabus and so much more. You can also take time and a half to graduate!

This sidetracked conversation is probably better for a different thread (along with the therapist conversation) but I don't feel like starting one.

How is Bates's approach helpful to the student? Missing all your classes and staying in bed every day regardless of what the syllabus requires for attendance does not sound healthy for the student at all. You mean they don't have to do a final paper if such a profile allows? Again, how is that helpful to the student?

[Anonymous]

I cannot remember colleges but in an IEP related thread a while ago, some posters named colleges that gave certain kids advanced access to schedule courses. One parent said was because their kid didn’t do well with classes at particular times or something like that and schools gave priority scheduling accommodation. Maybe ask schools about that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

But why is that the fault of the school? If your kid is 20 freaking years old, they should be able to open the course registration portal at 11 PM and figure out how to register for courses. If anything it's a lot easier at a SLAC than at a state school. The school is not responsible for your kid's own irresponsibility!

Not the PP but man. Why did you need to post this? May you and yours never have to deal with any mental health issues or disabilities.
Geez.

Because I'm a therapist who deals with college students all the time with anxiety/depression who are hell-bent on blaming the school/admin for their OWN failings. I deal with mentally ill young adults day in and day out who are unable to take accountability for the most basic tasks. It's a HUGE cultural problem. Gen Z is happy to blame the school/institution/other adults for their own shortcomings while not doing anything on their own to solve their "inability to deal with time pressure" (as the PP describes their kid) or the myriad of other excuses I get about why my clients are not able to complete developmentally appropriate tasks.

Yikes! Glad you're not my therapist. d

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

OP here. Since this is an anonymous forum do you mind sharing the name of the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a quirky LGBT kid with mild LDs + significant social & general anxiety. They are looking at schools like Kenyon, Oberlin, Vassar, Reed, Skidmore, and Bard and have the grades and scores to get into most or all. Our biggest concern is finding a place where they will feel supported from an LD and mental health perspective.

We're hoping to hear real-world experience of parents of kids with a similar profile who felt their kid was well-supported by their college, particularly if it's on this list or a school with a similar vibe.

Are you east coast? Have you visited Reed? Maybe reconsider.

As in maybe not Reed

Can you elaborate, please? Do you have first-hand experience with Reed? We are scheduled to visit in the fall when students are back on campus.

[Anonymous]

My student has a similar profile (mild LD plus some anxiety and depression). Would love to hear thoughts on accommodations and support at Skidmore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not by the school, but our kid went to a much bigger state school. Our daughter went to college with generalized anxiety disorder and ADHD. Moderate depression and anorexia resurfaced first year. With a lot of trial and error on the medication side, and strong support from her therapist (virtual) and us (remotely), and a transfer to another college in her sophomore year, our daughter got back on her feet and is now heading into senior year.
My big takeaway is that, no matter how caring a school presents itself, and I am sure many are, be prepared to augment.

+1. If possible, get a therapist before you go and maintain that relationship while you're there. I would not depend on a college mental health office for adequate support. Even if it's light years better than when we all went, try to have support and health for mental health issues consistently and outside of the college.

OP here. I thought it went without saying, but yes our kid has a therapist. And we are supportive & involved parents. We are not expecting the college to do it all. But we are wondering what different colleges offer in terms of support.

For example, our oldest child (who attends a medium-sized university not a LAC) had a roommate freshman year who was struggling with mental health issues and it was affecting his academic performance. That roommate was assigned a case worker by the school who helped him navigate things like registration, late work, etc. Similarly, one of his friends who lost his home in the CA fires was also assigned a case worker. I was impressed to hear this and this is the kind of first-person experience I'm looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

But why is that the fault of the school? If your kid is 20 freaking years old, they should be able to open the course registration portal at 11 PM and figure out how to register for courses. If anything it's a lot easier at a SLAC than at a state school. The school is not responsible for your kid's own irresponsibility!

Not the PP but man. Why did you need to post this? May you and yours never have to deal with any mental health issues or disabilities.
Geez.

Because I'm a therapist who deals with college students all the time with anxiety/depression who are hell-bent on blaming the school/admin for their OWN failings. I deal with mentally ill young adults day in and day out who are unable to take accountability for the most basic tasks. It's a HUGE cultural problem. Gen Z is happy to blame the school/institution/other adults for their own shortcomings while not doing anything on their own to solve their "inability to deal with time pressure" (as the PP describes their kid) or the myriad of other excuses I get about why my clients are not able to complete developmentally appropriate tasks.

YES yes yes. Agree fully. In the adolescent mental health field, and my colleagues see it all the time. Best outcomes are when it is addressed and solved before they leave for college, ideally in middle school. From my perspective parents are a big part of the enabling and refusing to help their kid get the tools they need. Anxiety is rampant in teens and adults but there are tools that can be learned that help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Highly recommend joining the FB page Parents of College Bound Students with Learning Disabilities, ADHD and ASD. You will get lots of great input from people with first-hand knowledge.

https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1EvWFvm2kS/?mibextid=wwXIfr

This is so helpful! Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

This is what happens when you let your kid has too much screen time growing up instead of teaching them about life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is at a similar SLAC and no, he is not well supported. I keep hearing accounts of other kids at the same school who are, but it seems it’s very individual or luck of the draw. In general schools are facing layoffs and tightened budgets and it seems like services and extras have been pared back. His professors are very nice and approachable but it has been hard to get help with anything outside individual classes. As an example, advising is weak to nonexistent and my kid panics at course registration. It starts at 11pm one particular night (different days for different classes) and if you don’t add popular courses or requirements in the first minute, you won’t get them. My kid is terrible with time pressure and basically gets zero preferred classes and every semester takes random leftover classes or spends weeks stalking for spots to open. Lotta bureaucracy for a small school.

This is what happens when you let your kid has too much screen time growing up instead of teaching them about life.